Inglorious Bastards

No, not ‘Basterds’, that’s Tarantino’s deal.  The IB’s I’m (lovingly) referring to are the daytime writers who have yet to give up on trying to pull one over on the fans!

One Life to Live

1.  I’d appreciate it if someone would explain to me why Cole and Starr (of ‘We’re Cole and Starr’ fame) would think it was ‘ok’ to involve  Starr in Cole’s ‘21 Jump Street‘ drug operation.  From there, “Stole” proved that neither will ever be a member of the Llanview brain trust!  I was  stupefied  after they  involved their innocent defenseless baby to give ‘credibility’ to Cole’s cover.   Why didn’t they stage a break up before having Cole go ‘undercover’?  Why not have Starr and child leave town for a while?   Oh, I get it!  “There is no ‘Starr and Cole, they’re fictional – THEY didn’t do it”!  “It was all the writers doing”.   That won’t stop me from cringing whenever Starr and Cole are on.  The longer this pairing goes on, the weaker the writing  for them becomes.  It’s increasingly more difficult it is to like them and I find myself resenting the airtime they’ve stolen from veteran characters.  The characters are consistently placed in storylines that are ‘too adult’ for them and the integrity of the storyline suffers as a result.

2.  I don’t care who Rex’s father is… it’s dragged on too long without enough plot points in between to keep me curious.  Now I’m just annoyed every time the topic comes up.  Rex is a freakin’ private investigator.  He must really suck at his job if he can’t figure this one out.  Isn’t it just a tad bit odd that he can figure out that Tea has some deep dark secrets, but can’t find his own father?  It’s also odd that he can’t keep up with Stacy’s mustache twirling  machinations!

I love Stacy Morasco… oh yeah, I said LOVE, but it’s evident that while her engine is on, there’s no one behind the wheel.  If SHE can outsmart Rex, time and again, he’s working with a single digit IQ.  I’m going to hate myself later for admitting this, but I’m thrilled at the thought of a Gigi Schuyler pairing and a Rex and Stacy pairing – if only because Stacy will make sure Rex stays miserable for a LONG time.  What irony that Ilene Kristen who played Ryan’s Hope’s scheming bad girl (Delia Reid Ryan)  could become the onscreen mother-in-law of a similar character!

3.  Fish and Kyle.  Daytime writers seem to believe that all gays have a traumatic coming out experience.  While it may be a difficult moment for some, will OLTL writers ever give the audience a gay character who isn’t closeted and terrified of coming out?  I lived through the Daniel Colson storyline.  I would have much rather had Fish avoid Kyle because he gave his heart and soul to Kyle in college and Kyle cheated, lied, and was generally unconcerned about anyone but himself.  That’s VERY consistent with the scheming, lying, blackmailing Kyle we were introduced to.

At some point, writers, can we please just have gay characters who are actually HAPPY with their lives, and not afraid that their friends and family will turn on them?  Am I watching too much Miami Social?  (Yeah, I should be ashamed of admitting that too!  That cast of real life characters puts the ‘super’ in superficial!)

General Hospital

1. Oh those sneaky GH writers!  They’ve pulled a fast one.  Every FBI agent, or undercover cop, ever sent to ‘take Sonny down’ ended up falling for  Jason’s pecs, Spinelli’s wit, or the magic of Sonny’s pecker (Hannah, Reese).  So how have the writers topped themselves?  HA!  It’s the fruit of Sonny’s loins (product of the pecker)  who is now being sent to take him down!   Marked improvement, writers, really… only not!  It’s a given that Dante Falconeri won’t end up carrying Sonny’s child and wouldn’t want to even if he could, thank the soapgods.  Unfortunately there’s no guarantee that Dante won’t go the way of every cop/agent before him and end up loving his papa, Sonny,  so much that he turns on his profession to protect him.

Even though I’m having a hard time buying Dante as Olivia and Sonny’s kid, I’ll suspend disbelief if Dante is allowed to put the mob storyline to bed, rather than climb into bed with the mob  when all is revealed.   (I can’t be the only one who thinks that Dominic Zamprogna’s Dante,  looks more like Olivia’s older brother than her son!  David Lago would have been a much better choice given the character’s supposed age, but since I’m enjoying DZ in the role, I can live with it).   Let’s hope that the revelation that Sonny is his father will mean that Dante becomes more determined than ever to shut Sonny’s operation down.  If Dante doesn’t actually signal the end of the reign of the mob boys,  GH is doomed.  The writers either have to send them to prison (won’t happen) or have them leave their lives of crime (can’t see this happening either), but things can’t go on as they are.

2. Nik… calling Emily Rebecca a ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ and repeatedly making reference to how easily she ‘spreads her legs’… just lovely… As much as I despise Rebecca, I would have cheered her on for slapping ‘Prince Nikolas’ out of his shoes, thank you very much!  If I recall, Nik was as ‘slutty’ as Rebecca.  She wanted money, he wanted an Emily substitute and tried to give it up to her much sooner than she was willing to give herself to him.

Why do I feel the need to shower after watching GH?

The Bold and The Beautiful

Speaking of showers, did anyone watch KKL’s Brooke and HT’s Taylor mud wrestling scene?  Obviously, I didn’t, but as I understand it, the actresses (their characters) took a ‘mud bath’ to cleanse their toxins and a fight broke out between the characters.

What’s up next?  The Brooke and Taylor accidentally fall into a vat of jello and begin  fighting?

A pillow fight breaks out and they ‘accidentally’ start ripping each other’s shirts open?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, The Bold and The Beautiful writers.

How do you know that GH is still in real trouble?

If you think the current ratings explain GH’s woes, hang on to your hats! There’s more. When one of the show’s most active and fan friendly sites goes on hiatus, it tells you that there are many more problems on the way. The Scrubs Hub will (hopefully) be back online soon, but if you go there now, you’ll be greeted with this message:

The site will be going on hiatus while I recharge and rethink things. I haven’t lost hope for Scrubs at all, but this site requires work and I just need a break for a bit.
Thank you to all of my readers who frequent my site, you’ve made this a fun and interesting experience.

I’ve been there. There are times when daytime is so exciting I find myself posting multiple blogs in one day. Then there are times when I can’t find the energy to post a blog in a week’s time – or two. How unfortunate. If ever a website advocated for the show, and kept fans interest in GH storylines and character, The Scrubs Hub was it. If the website’s owner felt anything like I’ve felt these past several months, it’s not just Robin and Patrick’s unfortunate storyline that’s a problem, it’s GH IN TOTAL.

By the way, I’m not authorized to speak for Amy, the owner of the Scrubs Hub. I’m sympathizing based on my own perception as a blogger and what it’s like to lose motivation for the thing you once loved. Let’s hope the site is back up and running, soon, and that if it is, the following storylines will be GONE!

1. Luke/Ethan. FINE! I’ve complained about them before… it’s not like there’s not MORE to complain about when it comes to these two…. Somewhere between the writing staff and daytime’s execs’ offices, someone decided to show the fans GH’s ‘eff U’ face. It’s not just that Luke has decided that ‘cowboy’ is an abject failure for becoming an upstanding citizen. It’s not just that Luke has romanticized his “good times” living as a bouncer in Ruby’s brothel while his underaged sister was forced to a life of prostitution… Yes, Luke, it was a grand old time. Everyone was just laughing and dancing and … no, wait… Bobbie probably WASN’T having a good time sweating under the heat of some old perv who purchased her like a bag of ‘take out’. Notice that Luke didn’t mention Bobbie in his reminiscing about ‘old times’? These are GH writers, they don’t need no stinking context for the show’s history.

It’s not just that Luke is so immediately enamored with the possibility that Ethan is the heir to the Spencer “damaged souls” legacy. It’s not JUST that Luke treats Laura’s memory as something to be spit on. It’s all of those things TOGETHER that makes me, for the first time ever, not care to see Luke’s face again. The writers are using Luke’s rewriting of his tragic history as a weapon against fans, in my book. You’ve done your job writers. I feel beaten down – but not at all beaten into submission.

How offensive were Luke’s comments that Lucky wasn’t raised to become the man he is now – a police officer raising other people’s kids!?!?!

  • Luke wasn’t around to raise Lucky for much of his young life, exactly HOW would he know what Lucky was raised to be? Is he suggested Laura wanted to raise a thug?
  • The man who didn’t care to spend time with his own children should be grateful for people like Lucky, who give love and comfort to the children people like him leave behind.
  • Have the writers forgotten that Luke has been an anti-HERO, not a hero, and not a villain?
  • Have they forgotten that he was once the town’s mayor and chief law enforcement official? Have they forgotten how many times Luke worked with law enforcement himself?
  • Do the initials W.S.B. still mean anything to GH writers?

Now Tracy is involved in this sordid mess with the paternity results that so few people seem to care about. It’s as if the writers are daring us to continue to try to hang on to the ‘old’ GH as they defiantly shove the ‘new’ GH down our throats. Don’t like it?… (I can imagine them asking)… then get the hell out!.. I don’t have to imagine fans doing JUST THAT… based on the ratings, fans are leaving the writers with the ‘New GH” and moving on to other, more exciting, forms of entertainment… like rearranging coat closets, or watching paint dry, or cleaning dog poo from the yard. Personally? My garden has NEVER looked better! Thanks GH!

2. The writers weren’t satisfied shoving mob storylines and direct mob references in our faces. They’ve decided that they want to slap us with mob references indirectly as well. Yes, yes… Claudia and Fredo, I get it… Fredo, the wanna be mobster who betrays his brother, ” Michael” Corleone in “The Godfather”. Don Michael promises his mother that for as long as she lives, he’ll never harm his brother. What does he do? He waits for his mother to pass away and then has his brother, Fredo, killed. Claudia makes reference to Fredo, but is in essence, SHE is the real Fredo. She lives only as long as her baby lives… so now what?

You know what would make this storyline more exciting (besides nothing?)… is if the writers ripped off ’24’… Claudia could walk around town while a countdown clock plays on the forefront of the screen. Each episode she’s on would be roughly 10 minutes in Claudia’s doomed life. The writers could go old-school-cheesy and actually have a digital countdown clock hanging over her head, Oooh! WHILE she’s wearing a bull’s eye t-shirt, just for kicks! Yeah, I like that – only, not really. Where’s the fun in waiting for a woman to die at the hand of her sociopath husband?

I wish I could say that I cared what happened, but I don’t. Sarah Brown is, and always has been amazing, but even she can’t make me want to see more of Carly-Babes’ Claudia’s terror. What WOULD make me tune in more often?

I want to see Claudia’s name CLEARED.

I want to see Claudia take over Sonny’s business.

I want to see Claudia do what Sonny never had the ability to do… clean up the mob element in town – she does know where all the bodies are buried, so to speak. Let her call in Robert Scorpio, Anna Devane, and Sean Donnelly. Let her decide that she’s tired of leading a dark life at the hands of the dark lord.

Let Claudia and Johnny not only go legit, but let them become the new corporate game in town. A reconstituted Quartermaine clan (Edward, Monica, Tracy, Ned, Lois, Brooklyn, and Dylan) vs. Claudia, Johnny, a neutered Sonny, and maybe even Jason. Jax, Carly, Nikolas, and Alexis (I KNOW) form the third CORPORATE, not MOB, family, and wage a huge business war.

3. Remily… To ‘liberally borrow’ from the late great Dr. Seuss:

The time has come.
The time is now.

Just go.
I don’t care how.

You can go by foot.
You can go by cow.
Rebecca-not-Emily will you please go now?

You can go on skates.
You can go on skis.

You can go in a hat.
But please go please.

I feel an indescribable pain connected to watching Remily scenes. It’s a cross between child birth and searing your hand on a hot stove. That’s only on the days when I’m lucky. At other times, I realize that there aren’t words in any human language to describe the pain I feel during Remily scenes.

It has little to do with Natalia Livingston. It has more to do with the added annoyance and frustration when realizing that through Rebecca, the character of Emily has returned as if she has been a central and crucial figure to the success of GH for decades, now. Emily was likable during many of her years onscreen (from Amber Tamblyn’s version on), but she was hardly an iconic character. Even worse, amazing characters, like Ric Lansing and Alexis Davis, languish on backburner (with Hearst, Lansing’s portrayer, dropped to recurring status) while the Emily redux consumes screen time.

Do I care if she’s working with Helena? Um, no. Do I care if she genuinely loves Nik? Er, no. Do I give a flying fig if she could help reconstitute the flailing Quartermaine clan, something I’ve wanted more than anything long before TPTB announced plans to kill off Alan? Not one bit…

She can go by foot.

She can go by cow.

I don’t care how she goes, but she MUST go NOW.

To think, the writers could brought Laura, Scotty, and Lucy Coe back full time. They could have used them to gin up the return of the nurses ball. Instead, we get Rebecca-not-Emily and not one damned storyline worth watching.

4. The neverending womb story… Is it not enough that Sonny (or Jason) has fathered almost every child born in the last 3 – 5 years? Do we have to have them weighing in daily on Carly’s womb? Do we have to have Jax pleading with the lollipop mob boys (who apparently kill over coffee, dock rights and computer chips- no drugs or prostitution <wink wink>)? Why are fans left with a big squick feeling while watching Jax beg Sonny to stop encouraging his wife to abort HIS child – a child that has nothing to do with Sonny!?!? Jax was already second to Jason in learning that his wife was pregnant. Now he has to fight the dark lord for the life of his child, and for his wife to be permitted to make her own choices regarding her life and her health?

Nothing causes me to lose hope for the future of GH more than having the jackasses of all trades, Sonny and Jason, now serve as Carly’s OB/GYN team and Mental Health Counselor. Let Carly BREAK FREE from these people. I want to love CarJax, and sometimes I do, but the idea that loving them means that I’m stuck with Sonny and Jason just burns my grits. I can’t believe in Carly and Jax as a couple, until Carly let’s go of Sonny and Jason.

To end of a positive note, there are several things I like about the show. I’m cautiously optimistic about LL2 reuniting without Lucky being dumbed down or treated as second rate just to prop Jason up as a hero.

I’m optimistic given spoilers that suggest that the PPD is at an end and that the Scrubs will get back to life as usual.

I’m optimistic that the writers MIGHT allow Spinelli and Maximista work things through and become a real couple…

I probably shouldn’t have put that in print, huh? The vindictive soapgods love smashing dreams, but eh, I’ll hang on to the hope I have, anyway!

The BnB’s Celluloid Closet…

ROUND THREE, people, ROUND THREE! This will probably be my last blog on this topic for a while, since I’ve neglected my GH, DAYS, and OLTL duties and have yet to reflect on my new love-hate relationship with all three shows.

One of the benefits of posting on soap message boards and blogging is that posting gives you the opportunity to think fully about fans’ reactions to storylines you may think of as basic storylines. Apparently not! In the last BnB blog I posted, I wrote that I’ve been surprised by two concepts 1 – that Stephanie Forrester and Taylor Hamilton Hayes are ‘too moral’ to become involved in a lesbian storyline. 2 – That Taylor and Stephanie are highly moral, at all. The comments below work if you believe that it’s objectively true that Stephanie and Taylor are ‘moral’.

As the debate continues on the official Bold and Beautiful board regarding the speculated possibility of a ‘Staylor’ storyline, I realize just how brilliant the writing for ATWT and GL has been! Before you burn me in effigy, let me qualify that statement – because it clearly requires qualification. The writers of both shows have done something that would not dared have been dreamed of just a couple of decades ago. They’ve established their respective couples (Nuke and Otalia) with at least one partner in the couple serving as their respective shows’ moral centers.

Luke and Noah resisted the temptation to bed-hop as so many others around them had. Noah’s father was a horror of a freak show and Luke’s parents have likely spent as much time sleeping with other people as they have sleeping with one another. Nuke came together not because they were running from anything else, but because they were running TO each other. They took their time getting there (too much time for some fans’ tastes, but they were worth the wait). Nuke brought a patience, kindness, and caring back to the show that had been missing for some time. They also brought back a sense of old-fashioned romance.

The same could be said of Otalia.WOWZA! Their long-awaited admissions of love for one another was nothing short of ‘supernova’ brilliant! The tone was right, the location was right -oddly enough at Gus’ graveside, Liv’s inability to stop herself from saying the words she’s worked so hard to avoid was gut-wrenching… if I wasn’t already sold on them as a couple, I would have been sold at that moment. I haven’t been as pleased with what followed, but more on that at another time. What immediately struck me was Liv’s comment to Nat that she knew that the fact that she loved her was a ‘sin’ in Nat’s religion, but that she couldn’t stop from loving her. Nat treated Liv’s concern about her religious ideas for what it was, no obstacle. (Not everyone interprets religious scriptures the same way; and not everyone believes that love is a sin). Ok, so you’ve seen the follow up eps by now and know that religion will be an issue for the couple in the future. ARGH! I told you that would happen so I’m not surprised, but ARGH is still the best reaction I’m capable of giving at this time.

As for the original point, I think it’s fascinating that Natalia has become the ‘new Maureen Bauer’. She’s the show’s mother hen who makes easy work of finding the good in everyone, who keeps an open door and open heart to everyone around her, and is a friend to anyone in need. I can’t help but believe that the writers will address the ‘religiosity’ aspect of the Otalia storyline, soon, removing the notion of Natalia as a ‘damned soul’ because of her feelings for Olivia.

I think that the way the writing team from each soap handled the matter of establishing their respective couple as part of the show’s moral core (if such a thing exists on a daytime show) was so subtle that I hadn’t thought of it as an overarching theme for the introduction of gay/lesbian couples in the contemporary daytime setting. It could certainly be considered an extension of the introduction of AMC’s Bianca Montgomery who, at almost every age, has served as the keeper of Pine Valley’s collective moral conscience. She became ‘Grandma Mona’s’ spiritual heir.

The Bold and The Beautiful’s Celluloid Closet

If you’ve never seen the documentary ‘The Celluloid Closet’, it’s a MUST VIEW. The documentary is based on Vito Russo’s book of the same name. Clearly Hollywood did a poor job of supporting diversity of any kind in its early history, but like many others, my self-invested interests kept me focused on the nonexistent racial diversity and problematic portrayals of women. This documentary opened my eyes to discrimination across the board, and how easily societal attitudes about sexual minorities have been both shaped and reinforced by the superficial images presented on screen. When I see resistance to the notion of a ‘Staylor’ pairing, there’s a part of me that wonders if the implicit and explicit messages about the ‘morality’ and ‘sexuality’ as polar opposites taps some unexpectedly uncomfortable space when it comes to two characters who’ve presented themselves as the show’s moral standard bearers.

The questions for me is, given how well the formula has worked on other shows, why WOULDN”T Stephanie and Taylor serve as the most likely couple – should the writers decide to introduce sexual diversity to the BnB audience? Wouldn’t this be yet another variation on the theme?

Opening Segment of ‘The Celluloid Closet:

If the ever noble Luke and Noah, spiritual Bianca, and religious Natalia have led the way in asking fans to reconsider their ideas of sexual minorities as ‘immoral’ wherever those feelings exist, wouldn’t it make perfect sense for Stephanie and Taylor to provide the avenue to opening the discussion for viewers on The Bold and the Beautiful? I don’t know how anyone BUT the incredibly skilled Susan Flannery and John McCook could lead this storyline forward (yes, John McCook, not Hunter Tylo). I can see JM’s Eric reacting to his wife, in her ‘golden years’ – as Steph gingerly calls them, deciding not to spend her remaining time supporting him but deciding to live her life with dignity and integrity and being the person she was meant to be.

A tearful and genuine final goodbye to the drama and turmoil she’s lived with Eric? They part as friends, parents, and long ago partners in success before she moves on with her life? And then in walks Taylor. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me. As they stand now, their friendship doesn’t make sense in light of the Stephanie’s extreme attitudes and behaviors regarding Taylor. In the same documentary, author Susie Bright discusses clues that suggest the possible same sex attraction of Mrs Danvers to the character ‘Rebecca’, in the film of the same name. Her comments are in relationship to the clip from the film, featured below (beginning 5:30 in):

“Rebecca” and Mrs. Danvers:

I’ve been asked why I haven’t thought of Stephanie and Brooke as potential partners or supported that notion.  Easy.  It doesn’t make sense!  If we follow the analogy all the way through, then clearly Stephanie is operating in the role of ‘Mrs. Danvers’ to Taylor’s “Rebecca’, with Brooke serving as “the second Mrs. De Winters”. No no, Brooke is no innocent, as is Joan Fontaine’s “the second Mrs. De Winters”, but Brooke truly loves Ridge (who serves as ‘Maxim’ in this analogy). She continues loving him despite never being able to win over the support of the controlling and overly protective Stephanie/Mrs. Danvers. Because of the unspoken love, and unbroken bond, Stephanie’s Danvers shares with Taylor’s ‘Rebecca” – one that not even death breaks, Brooke will always be on the outside. She will never overcome Steph’s/Danvers’ desire to maintain the MYTH of Taylor’s (Rebecca’s) perfection. Brooke will continue to be psychologically tortured by a false image of the perfect woman that Stephanie/Danvers created out of her own unexpressed desires, an image Stephanie/Danvers uses as a weapon against Brooke/2ndDW, though she knows the truth.

Brooke’s 2ndDW will never benefit from having Steph’s Mrs. Danvers spin her misdeeds into something magical and perfectly acceptable in order to hide those sins from those around her as Stephanie/Danvers has done for Taylor/Rebecca. Note how, in both the film and on the BnB, it was most important to maintain the notion of purity for those who were in the dark about Taylor/Rebecca’s true nature, most especially Ridge/Maxim. Steph’s only loyalty is to Taylor. Her passion and compassion are saved for Taylor. Her forgiveness is saved for Taylor. Why is it so unlikely that her truest love is reserved for Taylor? For those who think of Steph and Taylor as mere friends, I just don’t see it. I think the BnB has been writing from it’s own celluloid closet for these two characters for some time, unintentionally or not.