It happens in the best of (soap) families…

First the good stuff. I don’t know why it’s never dawned on me before, but why or WHY hasn’t DAYS – which  happens to be in striking distance of the BnB in the ratings, taken advantage of the colossal blunder  made by the BnB’s sister soap, the YnR?  Why hasn’t DAYS hired Victoria Rowell as a new character?  YnR’s  PLTB (Powerless That Be) are  determined to not bring Rowell back to daytime in a role she made iconic.  Why not hire Ms. Rowell for DAYS and tie her to honest Abe Carver.  His image has been a little ‘too clean’ for a soap character.  I don’t want him to become a bad guy, or learn that he was ever a ‘bad’ man.  It might be worthwhile to find out that Abe was once a conflicted man. He was in love with a woman with a shady past and did things he’d never expected to do.   Maybe Abe demands perfection in Lexie because he’s loved a woman who’s driven him down the wrong path before and is afraid to go there again.

TPTB won’t hire her because of money?  I know, I know… but I could name a number of characters – starting with the teens, the show could “clear house”  with in order to afford bringing Rowell on board.  It just  might surprise you to know that James Scott’s Ej Dimera is not on the list!  We’ll need him around for at least a while longer.

Imagine that Brandon returns and wants his father to meet a woman he’s fallen in love with – a woman he wants to marry.  It turns out that she’s

1.  a cougar and

2 – a woman from Abe’s past.

She knew Abe when he wasn’t so sainted- chasing down crooked cops and busting drug rings!  She’s someone who knows where Abe buried the bodies  (so to speak)  and is someone against whom Abe’s defenses are weak.  His attraction to her is chemical, undeniable, and a threat to his marriage and to his standing in the community.  Let’s not mention the fact that a relationship with this woman would be toxic to the relationship Abe shares with his son, Brandon.  It took a lot for Abe to get beyond Lexie’s affair with Brandon, could Abe make the mistake of falling into bed, again, with this woman?  The woman his son loves?  Lexie has spent most of their marriage cheating on Abe and awaiting his forgiveness – now she’ll have to worry about whether Abe will be the one to next break their marriage vows and if she would be able to forgive him.  Ultimately he would remain faithful, though we would find out that he has a lot more to  lose than his marriage by having this woman present.

Not being able to destroy the Carver marriage, being dumped by Brandon – who moves on with Arianna Hernandez, VR’s character would of course form an alliance with DAYS other uber-evil villain, EJ Dimera.  Both characters are matched as  equally deadly manipulators.  EJ relies on her expertise but always makes sure she knows that their partnership is predicated on her commitment to stay away from Abe, Lexie, and Theo… but can she do it?  EJ, torn between his friendship with, love for, and growing reliance on this woman and his love for his  family.  The town of Salem would never be the same again!

Speaking of  Soap Families

Parasites come in all shapes, sizes, and genders.   The three major categories of dysfunctional soap family members  include the non-criminal philanderer, the non criminal self-pitying liar, and the criminal take-by-force loser.

The Philanderer

Every (soap) family has that one philandering dolt who makes you feel dirty just by shaking his hand – which is a bad move since you never know where that hand has been.  You just know that it’s been a lot of places you’d never go.  On the BnB?  That would be Eric “naked on the ledge” Forrester.  Eric’s treatment of women is, and always has been, rather shabby.  He’s been cheered on as a romantic hero, but he’s neither romantic, nor a hero as far as I’m concerned.  I think fans are finally beginning to see Eric as the lowly worm he truly is.  Is he only more clearly viewed as  a Lothario because he has yet to change his behaviors?  A man his age, who still can’t be faithful to a faithful wife is far from appealing.   His actions include:

1.  Declaring his love for his son’s former fiancee moments after leaving his wife of decades.  Let’s face facts, lesser men would have left Stephanie about an hour after she gave birth – after finding out that the kid she gave birth to was healthy.  It would have been hard to blame him for wanting to be a single dad rather than chain himself to a hate-filled harpy like Stephanie.   She’s not exactly ‘lovable’, except in rare occasions and for Eric that has typically meant whenever someone younger and warmer was available.  The problem is that he DID chain himself to her.  So his inability to live  up to his commitment leaves you weary.  The man comes and goes like a rock star on tour – and Stephanie Douglas is his most fervent groupie.

2.  When Brooke dumped him for Ridge, Eric moved on to psychotic Sheila Carter, and after a while on to taylor – who was dumped by the same son who left Brooke earlier, and any other half-wit who would have him.  Each time Stephanie grabbed on to his coattails and begged for crumbs… and he gave them to her.

3.  He returned to Stephanie only to end up cheating on her just before their wedding. He cheated with a woman who was like a daughter to her, Lauren Fenmore.

4.  He tried returning to Brooke.  Later returning to Stephanie when that fell through.

5.   He later married Brooke’s sister, Donna Logan, but only after cheating on Stephanie (who was in hiding after facilitating Brooke’s sexual assault).  What lousy circumstances under which Eric took Donna Logan to bed.  It was mere weeks after finding that that Donna was sleeping with his youngest son in order to use him to tear the Forrester family apart.  A heart-broken Thorne dumped Donna at the altar – Eric slept with her.

6.  After all of the above, I never grew to like Donna and Eric, but it was clear that she really did love the artful dodger.  It was Donna who fought the Forresters to keep Eric on life support when they were ready to pull the plug.  It was  Stephanie who gave Eric a knee to the groin in front of their adult children.  It was  Donna who went along with a plan to regain the company for Eric even if it meant betraying the trust of baby sister Katie… It was Stephanie who was at fault for helping the Forresters lose the company in the first place.  Eric is returning to Stephanie… a woman who tried to destroy his life’s work and tried to turn his children against him.

Whatever unfortunate thing happens to him is all he deserves and more.  By the way, it’s pretty awful when clips for your show fits the theme song to a slapstick comedy.  BRAVO to the genius backstage who put this together!  (At least you have a sense of humor about the show you’re producing):

OLTL writers must look at the BnB’s Eric with a sense of awe.  The Power(less) That Be  must love the guy, because it’s the road I see John McBain taking for as long as the show is on the air.  Loving that man is a no-win proposition for any OLTL woman.  Johnny McBain loves no woman as much as he loves the idea of living in misery… the women he ‘loves’ just end up along for the ride.

Both men should make room for the YnR’s Victor, who treats women as useless if they’re not grabbing pom poms and cheering on his self-indulgent tendencies.  They may as well be packaged in tissues boxes.  Victor uses one, and tosses her aside as he grabs the next.

All three aregoing to find themselves  riding in a crowded car if they have to make room for GH’s loathsome Sonny Corinthos and Sonny’s enormous ego.  I hope that car has a big trunk!  It will have to carry the emotionally and spiritual dead bodies of the women Sonny has loved, maltreated, discarded, disrupted, and left as empty hollow shells.

The Self-Pitying Liar

The BnB leads the way again.  Two words: taylor hayes… ok, two more: Stephanie Forrester… WAIT, two more:  Steffy Forrester (Marone) – That’s three, right?  Steffy has proven herself as taylor’s daughter, Stephanie’s granddaughter.  I’ve never seen writers utterly destroy three female characters by writing them as utterly obsessed with another character – one Brooke Logan.  I could show you a million clips of these women plotting (taylor and stephanie before steffy came along) and if you watched the show’s factual history, you would be shocked to hear them constantly whining about the ‘pain’ Brooke has cost them.  Before Stephanie facilitated the rape of Brooke Logan, she tried to convince Brooke to take her life, and even gave her the gun to do it with… oh yes, that’s right… Brooke is the threat to the Forresters.  Does Steffy has any idea how awful her mother and grandmother are?  Does she care?  She’s lied more since she became daytime’s lead self-pitying liar than any other character has in a decade!

The Take-by-Force loser

Oh come on, DAYS FANS, you knew it was coming!  The scurge that is EJ so perfectly fits this category.  I love that Will has no use for the man who violated his mother.  Sami’s oldest child so clearly understands what kind of man EJ is and wants him GONE. Good boy, Will.  It would be a HUGE mistake, for a show that’s doing so well, to try to sell the audience on the notion that Will wants to eventually become buds with the man who raped his mother and produced one child – and manipulated and violated his mother to produce another.  I know that Sami feels ‘trapped’ in some way because she’s had two children with EJ , but she really needs to let them visit with him at his place.  EJ’s presence is a constant reminder of what he’s done to young Will’s mother and I can’t believe any caring parent would let that happen.

Sorry PLTB, YOU wrote the story.  YOU have to live with it.

Given Will’s obvious (and rightful) dislike of EJ, I wonder what role he will play in this storyline. If the man who raped your mother keeps trying to insinuate himself into her life and won’t stay away… what would you do?  Hopefully Will might have some role in exposing EJ’s lies. It would give him some feeling of being able to avenge his mother’s rape and keeping his siblings safe from their vile father.

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Daytime’s worst psychiatrist: Or why the BnB is a little like watching porn

You’re probably thinking of DAYS’ Marlena Evans.  In her defense we should remember that when Marlena was a venom-spewing cold-hearted, mean- spirited psych0, she was possessed by the devil.   The ‘Worst Psychiatrist’ award goes to someone who is supposed to be ‘healthy’, and has yet to show a reasonable example of good mental health.  For my money, The BnB’s Taylor Hayes tops the list of daytime’s professional mental health  malcontents.   While daytime demeans the work of almost all individuals in all professions, you’d think that daytime writers would be more careful about the portrayals of those in the helping professions.

Instead, police officers are ‘stupid’ and never catch real criminals – unless the guilty are  recurring characters or day players.   Nurses are typically women who are looking to move up the social ladder by latching on to a hot eligible physician, or his married  successful ‘businessman’ brother/father – all of whom are  usually womanizers (how very 1960s).  Mental Health professionals typically need more help than they’re capable of dispensing.

Which brings us back to Taylor Hayes.

It makes sense to me that the writers have penned the new Forrester Creations campaign ‘Hope for the Future’.   Near death experiences, actual death, Alzheimer’s, sexual assault, physical attack, lost love, miscarriages,  public humiliation, you name it and the Logans have experienced it.  Those experiences have made them stronger,and  they push forward after their greatest calamities, continuing to love life and rebuild from what’s left – seeking happiness along the way.  It’s why they resonate with fans in a way the writers haven’t been able to understand as they’ve tried to push them to the margins as the show’s bad girls, but not being able to take the audience along for the ride.  We see them for who they are and the term  ‘bad girls’ doesn’t describe them adequately.  It doesn’t describe them at all.

The Logan women are a lot like many of the viewers who’ve been knocked for a loop on occasion and have had to fight their way back up.  Many soap fans have had to bootstrap after losing someone they love, a home they cared for, children who weren’t theirs by blood- but by deed.  In real life, you do it without complaining about how horrible life is, or moaning that you’re a victim.  So, we have very little patience for people who do pretty stupid things and then whine that they were the victims of others.  We don’t like those who can’t take responsibility for their bullspittle, especially when they keep piling it higher and deeper – or when they fling it at others .

While the writers reveled in the ‘mean girls’ storyline this past year with Stephanie and Taylor plotting to destroy Brooke and Ridge’s happiness, viewers most likely remembered the ‘mean girls’ in their own lives who spent more time tearing others down rather than building themselves up.   These mean girls aren’t ‘pretty’ women frustrated by boredome.  They’re not ‘smart’.  They’re not even likable.  They’re just mean.   Every time Stephanie ‘mean girl’ Douglas, Taylor ‘mean girl’ Hayes, and now Steffy ‘mean girl’ Forrester-Marone starts attacking the Logans as ‘whores and sluts’ with no redeeming value, they remind us of who they are at their core.

The writers can try to tell us that they are women of good character, but the picture they paint through the characters’ actions tell a different story.  I find myself doing one of two things when they’re on, lately – turning the channel or muting the sound.  What can they say that tthey haven’t already said a million times before?  The writers aren’t even creative at coming up with new ways for this legion of doom and gloom to refer to the Logans as ‘cheap’.

Taylor is the worst of the ‘mean girls’ legion for the obvious reason.  She’s supposed to know better!  As a psychiatrist, she’s supposed to be the one who helps her children realize that their irrational fears  are no threat to them.  Her job as a mother, if nothing else, is to help  them become better  and happier people.  For Taylor to encourage Steffy’s asinine sniveling over the ‘Forresters vs. the Logans’ is a true travesty.   At one time, she considered herself  ‘another mother’ to Brooke’s children, and taunted Brooke with that view.  After having taken a huge  Oedipal leap into Rick’s arms, and into his bed, taylor has decided that Brooke’s children are ‘the enemy’ and that Brooke’s children are replacing her children at Forrester Creations and in Ridge’s heart.  She’s decided that it’s ok for her to encourage discord in the Logan-Forrester household by supporting Steffy’s delusions of entitlement and calls to hatred.  She’s doing exactly what Brooke’s accused her of doing, helping to spread poison to the next generation.  Stephanie Douglas couldn’t do it with her own children – who had no quarrel with the Logans, so she created a ‘proxy’ in taylor who helped pick up the call to arms.

If your son is a car bomber, your daughter slept with her ‘uncle’ and is now foolish enough to think that her ‘sweet sweet lovin’ will make a billionaire give back the family company he stole – if she could only get him away from his wife – you might not want to encourage  volatile levels of uncontrollable rage in your children.  You might remind them that while they’re screaming about being ‘outnumbered’, there are actually more Forresters than Logans and even then it doesn’t matter.  You might want to remind them that the children they’re railing against are as much part of the ‘Forrester clan’ as they are – given the fact that their biological father is not a biological Forrester – but  a biological Marone.  Ridge is a Forrester out of love, as are Brooke’s children.  You might want to remind your children that if they pull together as a family – they’re stronger, and more likely to kick Bill Spencer’s butt out of the company.  Rather than helping her children step outside of their self-pity and other- loathing, Taylor would rather encourage them to despise their own siblings.

This storyline has shown us why taylor will never be anything more than window dressing.   She’s a club the writers pull out of the closet to hit the Logans over the head with, and then put away.  The writers don’t care to give her depth, and that’s the real tragedy of the Bold and the Beautiful wasting the fan’s time with a gravely unbalanced show.  Given the fact that the BnB is the second highest rated show in daytime and the most watched soap in the world, I would expect more from the writing.  For  whatever reason the BnB’s dialogue writers have remained the weakest in the field for my money.  I don’t know if their hands are routinely tied by the head writer or if they’ve figured out that the BnB has survived almost purely on the shock value of its plots, and that the dialogue may not matter.

Whatever the issue, watching the BnB is like eating empty calories.  Sure, it’s a thrill at the moment, but when it’s over, you’re still hungry and a little less healthy for the trouble.  I’ve always maintained that the BnB should be the most watched soap in the U.S., as well.  It has all the elements: great production values, iconic actors and characters,  fabulous costuming whenever wardrobe is prevented from going too wild, and a neverending supply of lust filled story arcs.  Lust filled?  WAIT!  Forget the ’empty calories’ analogy.  Watching The Bold and The Beautiful is more like watching soft core porn.

I don’t watch porn, but I understand what it is.  Lots of sex, weak plots, incomplete dialogue that does little more than lead the characters to the path of lots of sex?  Why is that NOT like the BnB?

Rather than make the Logans  passive (which the writers treat the same as passive),  and willing to take all the crap the mean girls throw at them, why not allow them, and those who love them,  to respond with a truth meant to break the mean girl delusions?

Examples?

Steffy:  The Logans are taking over this place!  There’s no room for REAL Forresters.

Rick:  You mean Forresters  like Bridget, Felicia, Thorne, Kristen, their children and Me? Since our father is Eric Forrester and YOUR father  is a Marone?  What else do you have to say about REAL Forresters, Steffy?

*****

Stephanie:  You stole my husband you BITCH!

Brooke:  Sure, because you were happily married before I came along… unless you’ve forgotten that Eric was engaged to my mother after he left you, he dated a slew of Forrester models, and didn’t tell me he loved me until AFTER he was done with you for good – you hateful spiteful miserable self-deluding liar.

I didn’t steal your husband, you pushed him away with your hatred and he did the rest by refusing to allow you to draw him back in.  You blame me for losing him, but you haven’t explained why he turned to every other woman in L.A. BUT you when we were no longer together.  It’s time you stopped blaming me and started looking at why Eric has chosen everyone but you!

and then she walks away!

*****

Taylor:  RIDGE!  our children feel unloved.  They feel replaced and you’re not doing anything to make them feel better.

Ridge:  No taylor, YOU’RE not doing anything to make them feel better.  My relationship with our children hasn’t changed.  Why would you encourage them to believe that they have to fight to be loved?  What’s in it for YOU?  When will you put our children first?

*****

Steffy to Thomas:  If only I could get Bill away from Katie.  I could get him to give the company back.

Hope (who overhears them):  That trust fund you freely spend?  My mother and father’s hard work put that money in your account.  My mother made this company the success it was when she ran it, one of the most successful fashion houses in the history of the business.   She’s forgotten more about this business than you’ll ever  know, Steffy.

The next time you even think of calling my mother a whore, think about the fact that the only contribution you have to offer the company requires you to get on your back to do it.

And SCENE!

Wouldn’ t it be grand to have the mean girl characters get back the hell they give back to others?  We instead get BnB porn:

Steffy to Brooke:  You’re a whore.

Ridge to Brooke:  She made you feel bad?  (Disrobes her) let me make you feel better.

Taylor to Rick:  I’ve lost my child.  I had to give him away.

Rick to Taylor (as he disrobes her):  Let me make it better.
See? No logical response.  No exchanged heated enough to burn the remote out of your hands making it impossible to change the channel.    Bad psychiatry and almost-porn.  If you like either, you’d LOVE the BnB.

Are The Bold and The Beautiful’s DAYS numbered?

I expect the prior week’s ratings to be TOUGH for the BnB when they’re released on Thursday/Friday of this week.  DAYS  has just ended a year long arc with Sami Brady finding out that Nicole Walker stole her child (Sydney) and replaced her with a child who ended up dying only months later (Grace).  I fully expect DAYS to kick Bold’s fanny in the next set of ratings.  If it doesn’t, shame on the viewers for missing one of daytime’s truly great moments!  Sami put the smackdown on Nicole, literally and figuratively, after finding out that Nicole stole her child – and Nicole turned it around and made herself a sympathetic character, in the end.

4:35 into this clip (also posted below)  shows you what DAYS has going on that Bold can’t touch, right now… but the whole clip is worth the watch!  *Thanks MrBreaksoap for posting this vid… check out MrBreaksoap’s channel on Youtube

DAYS is amazing and Arianne Zuker is hitting it out the ballpark.   I don’t know who to credit for the success of this storyline.  Is it the writers who seemed to know how they wanted to tell this story from beginning to end?  There were no weak moments (other than the uninteresting teens – and even then the writers seemed to know not to give them too big a role in this storyline).  Does the credit go to Ari Z, whose every inflection, facial expression, and gesture seemed perfect?   Is it a strong  partnership between the two, one not working without the other?

The Bold and the Beautiful (only .2 of a ratings point ahead of DAYS)  hasn’t offered a storyline that comes even close to anything as exciting as the Sami and Nicole exchange.   While the BnB feels like the show you watch just before you go to sleep at night,  DAYS is the show you rush home to watch because missing a single day means you’ll miss something good!  If DAYS isn’t theEmmy winner for ‘Best Drama’ next year, I’ll be shocked.  The carefully choreographed dance between the writers at DAYS, and Ari Z is the perfect example of what writers can do with a show when writers write to the strength of their actors, instead of faulting good actors for bad storylines and awful direction (see: Kyle Lowder).

What the BnB lacks in terms of the  disciplined continuity shown by DAYS writers, it makes up for in sheer number of storylines directed at the audience.  Stephanie’s childhood abuse storyline ended as quickly as it began and then morphed into a storyline about her facilitating the rape of Brooke Logan.  Eric woke up out of his coma to find his wife in the arms of another man and all was forgiven mere weeks later.   Owen was a schemer (or appeared to be) when he first arrived on canvas – only to be transformed into a ‘hero’ just months later and transformed again as a toyboy-to-true love shortly after.  Brooke’s rape became a storyline about reclaiming the love of her life, only to have her nearly throw him away again with the birth of a child she never planned for (more on that later).   BnB storylines are  like the weather pattern in most places, wait ten minutes and they’ll change.  The Bold and The Beautiful needs a storyline arc that draws fans in and one that  lasts longer than a couple of months.  The ‘baby drama’ centered on Nick, Bridget, and Sandy/Agnes is the perfect opportunity for the writers to tell a cohesive storyline.  Right now the storyline is hit and run.  Pieces of it show up, when the writers aren’t busy shoving less interesting storylines (like Steffy going psycho stalker and creating an affair from a weak kiss – all in her head).

I think that BOLD’s Ashley Jones’ appeal is severely underestimated – mainly by the BOLD writers since prime time writers, directors, and casting agents ‘get it’, given Ms. Jones’ string of successes in prime time appearances.  Between Ashley Jones and Sarah Brown, the baby surrogacy storyline, added to the Logan/Forrester takeover,  has the potential to give fans a reason to become excited about the show.  SB’s Sandy  is clearly playing the Nicole Walker role, but are her intentions are as pure as Nicole’s?  It’s doubtful given Sandy’s fixation on the happy couple, the fact that they have everything, according to her, and that she has nothing.   Could she have been targeting Nick and Bridget all along?  Maybe it wasn’t her plan to become a surrogate, but that she’d planned to take advantage of Nick’s reputation as an unfaithful man.  The guy slept with Bridget’s mother and her dying aunt, after all.  How hard could it be to have him fall into bed with her?  That the happy couple needed a surrogate might have been a happy coincidence for her.  It would give her a chance to get closer to Nick, without Bridget needing to be around, and it set the stage for her making Bridget feel inadequate – or to at least try to.

Bridget has already suffered untold grief and misery and would be easily blindsided by someone like Sandy – but it shouldn’t take her long to see through Sandy and figure out what’s going on.  It would require a paradigm shift from the writers who would have to let go of bad habits.  By the time your husband humps your mother just months after your child dies, and jumps your dying aunt – being written as ‘naive’ only makes a character look stupid.   I’d rather not see that happen this time.  Why not have a cat and mouse storyline with the two women?  Why not add a new angle?  Sandy only THINKS she’s the cat.  It turns out that she’s the mouse and that Bridget relies on Sandy’s knowledge of ‘poor, pitiful, naive, betrayed, Bridget’ and plays to it… while working with her mother and mother-in-law, to make sure that Sandy doesn’t get her child – even if she takes her husband.   Maybe Bridget will prevail and win them both!  Is it even possible for the writers to have Nick keep his pants up when presented with the opportunity to cheat?  Let’s hope.

If you’re a BOLD viewer, I know what you’re most likely thinking?  The last BnB ‘baby drama’ story  (Brooke/Taylor surrogacy) didn’t work.  Fans were bored silly and the ratings dropped.  Why torture fans with another ‘baby drama’ storyline?  Why pick up with another ‘two mommies’ storyline?  The problem, in my opinion, wasn’t the type of storyline, but the players invovled!

The Brooke and taylor angle was wretched, because:

1 – taylor is a dud of a character and it would be easier cheering on a root canal than anything to do with her.  There are times when the writers need to realize that some characters really are damaged beyond repair, and cut bait.

2 – of fan fatigue with the rivalry.  It was tiresome watching Brooke dragged down into a storyline with taylor and Nick all over again.  Taylor has been at Brooke’s throat for over two decades, soap time.  They’ve battled over Ridge.  Both have loved Eric.  Both have bedded Thorne.  Each has referred to herself as the mother of the other’s children.  Both had bedded Nick and placed Bridget in the most uncomfortable of situations watching them move on with him while she still loved him.  By the time ‘Jack’ came along, the only fan response left was  ‘who cares?’

3 – the Brooke/nick link was DISGUSTING.  Given the death of Bridget’s child with Nick and the writers added insult to injury by having Bridget implant  Brooke’s fertilized egg into Taylor’s womb.   That’s a move that sounds good in the echo chamber of the writers’ room, but EGADS, wasn’t there a focus group to float that one by?  I can’t imagine anyone who wasn’t intimately connected with the show who loved it.

Moral of the story?  KISS!  (Keep it simple, silly!)  The DAYS baby swap/two mommies  storyline worked because it was interesting and  because it wasn’t clogged with too many agendas.  You didn’t get the feeling that the baby swap was just a prelude to something bigger, something worse – that the writers were committed to the storyline.  The BnB storyline, by comparison, was a fiasco.  The storyline appeared to be one more back door attempt to try to force fans to root for a Nick and Brooke pairing, a pairing that failed four times before.

In the appropriate writers’ hands, the Nicket storyline could help awaken this show.  Speaking for viewers like myself:  NO ONE gives a crap about taylor’s blind date. We’re SICK of Steffy’s desperation – and she is as equally damaged as Rick.  The Douglas “drama” puts me to sleep.   Give us more Nicket intrigue with Sandy and let us watch the Forresters fight their way back to the top, kicking Dollar Bill’s butt along the way! Let Ridge, Brooke, and Thorne take the lead on the big return.  Explain Felicia’s absence as having her tracing back  DB’s steps and digging up dirt on the guy.  After helping her family successfully reclaim the company, she and Dominic/Dino can visit Dante in Europe (until LK finishes her stint on ATWT).

When the Bold and the Beautiful is on, it’s ON.  When it’s not, it’s the most confusing show on daytime.  The inconsistency and character/plot shifting isn’t serving the show well.  I’m hoping there’s a time when the show will play to the strength of it’s  actors and rich history,  and do so consistently.  If DAYS does surpass the BnB in the ratings, who knows it will last?  DAYS has also had problems with past writing teams being inconsistent and confusing.  It’s hard to know who will ultimately prevail in this battle,  but given the richness of the BnB, it seems that the BnB has the edge. The writers just need to wake up and wake the rest of us up as well.

As an aside… DAYS writers?

When will you have Nicole wise up to the fact that the only real difference between EJ Dimera and Paul Walker  is that one is the devil with whom she shares DNA, and the other is the devil with whom she was willing to share her life?  Outside of that, the differences between the two men are minor.

You can live well, even if you’re just ‘trash from the valley’

The Logan girls:  Valley Trash Inspiration?

Anyone watching The Bold and The Beautiful for longer than a week has heard Stephanie refer to the Logan women as ‘trash from the valley’, a phrase she less-than-creatively alternates with ‘sluts from the valley’.  The Logan women were, according to Stephanie’s fantasies, poor, tasteless, money-hungry golddiggers who couldn’t wait to get their hands on the Forrester fortune… Except, Brooke chose the working son, not the established moneyed father.  Donna never went near the Forresters, she was attracted to other “poor trash from the valley”, like Rocco Carner), and Katie rarely ever dated.  Stephanie couldn’t forgive the Logan girls because her ‘trash from the hills’ husband chased ‘trash from the valley’ Beth Logan.  Eric then kicked her ‘trash from the east coast’ backside to the curb to rebuild happiness with Beth!

Why does any of this old business matter?  Because as the old adage says, ‘everything old is new again’.  Katie took Bill Spencer home this past week to show him the neighborhood she grew up in and whaddya’ know?    The Logan girls were middle class like much of the show’s viewing audience.  They grew up in a loving home.  They were close and cared for one another and were open and loving to all  – so much so that Caroline Spencer didn’t want to leave the loving Logan home while recovering from rape.  (Day One fans will realize that the new ‘old Logan home’ is significantly larger than the former ‘old Logan home’, but hey, that’s all about creative license).  What’s clear is that the writers have put Stephanie’s tiresome screed in perspective.

Stephanie’s lack of perspective, and lack of humanity, is what has driven the conflict with the Logan family.  There has been no ‘war’ between the Logans and the Forresters.  There never was.  There was Stephanie Douglas  and her handmaiden, Taylor Hayes, on one side;  the Logans and the Forresters  have been on the other side.  While I still couldn’t give a crap about Katie and Bill as a couple (and care even less for the idea of  Steffy ‘trash from the  Hills’  Forrester coming between them), the one benefit of this couple has been watching the writers use them to show the side of the Logan clan so many fans have always loved about them.

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The rebuilding of the Logan clan has been slow going, but is paying off for the show!  Donna returned, but as a tool to sell the writers’ vision of Bridge love vs. brICK lust.  Donna began with focusing on the epic love between Brooke and Ridge and hoping to help Brooke realize that there was something wrong with her relationship with Nick.  In the end, Donna was right.  It was a marriage that lasted 10 weeks, but had done grave damage to Brooke’s relationship with Bridget in the process, and damage to the viewers’ relationship with Brooke, as well.  Before Brooke ended her disastrous relationship with nick, Donna decided to move in on Ridge (near-fatal mistake number 1).  RealDonna Logan gave up a man she loved for her sister, Katie, when they were younger.  She would never have become involved with her sister’s one true love).   When Ridge ended up dumping Donna, Nick then became Donna’s champion.  Donna believed that Nick was the ‘better man’ and tried to sell Brooke on her new philosophy (near-fatal mistake number 2).  Donna was willing to try to sell her sister on a man she (Brooke) didn’t love to soothe her own sense of rejection and betrayal.

It made Donna instantly unlikable to a significant portion of the viewing audience.   Her behavior was untrue to her Logan heritage. It was as untrue to the legacy of these women as Katie’s betrayal of Bridget, by sleeping with Nick (near fatal mistake number 3).  The Logan girls sacrificed for one another their entire lives.  They were willing to give up people they loved, rather than hurt one another.  Donna, the real Donna, would never have pushed Brooke in the direction of a man like Nick, one who’d betrayed Brooke (her sister) and Bridget (her niece).   Neither would Katie.   That’s all done now, and the Logan girls are back, their bond is stronger than ever, and Stephanie’s ridiculously hateful tirades have been put in perspective.  These girls from the valley aren’t ‘trash’, nor are they ‘sluts’, or any other foul thing that Stephanie’s small mind can conjure to call them.  They are the Logan girls, the Logan women, and they always will be.

Speaking of the Logan Bond

Let’s hope that now that the pseudo-incest storylines are over and the Logan women are no longer fighting for the lust of the same men, now that all are happy and in love with the men they were meant to be with (for now, on Katie and Donna’s parts) that all three remember the younger member of their clan who’ll need their support.  Bridget has just embarked on a journey toward reclaiming motherhood that will be a rougher ride that even she imagined.  She’s going to need the support of her tough as nails mother and aunts.  Much like the insta-romance that takes place on this show, so goes the insta-surrogate storylines.

You’d think that given their past losses, that Bridget and Nick would want to take more time to get to know their chosen surrogate.  How about spending a month or tow observing her habits?  How about double and triple checking her references?  Hiring several PIs to investigate her past, hoping one would find information the others haven’t?  This woman will carry the most precious part of the both of them, a child they’ve wanted and into whom they will pour every bit of love they have – along with the love they’re pouring into Nick’s son Jack.  So what’s the rush!?!?!

Taking a little more time, they would have learned that Carly Corinthos’ Sandy Sommers’  has such a jones for snack foods that even when pregnant it’s her preferred form of  ‘nutrition’.  They might learn that Carly Sandy, is a bit of a schemer and feels that others have far too much of what she wants – that she deserves more.  They’d learn that her change in hair color is probably an indication of bad  things to come – that’s one hand I wouldn’t want rocking my child’s cradle!  They’d probably learn that the ‘minor deceits’ she’s capable of now are indications of ‘major deceits’ to come later.

It’s hard to believe that anyone who has a much money as the Logan/ Forrester-Marone clan is supposed to have would be a little more jaded.  Nick was suspicious of Owen, to the point of trying to destroy him, but almost completely trusts a woman he doesn’t know to carry his seed?  Doesn’t Sandy give off the scary ‘Deacon Sharpe’ vibe to anyone else?  She’s almost immediately ingratiated herself into Bridget’s life, befriending her and wanting her trust.  In return?  Nick and Bridget are giving her their child to carry.  Only one word can truly express my feelings about this storyline and that word is UGH!!!!!!!!!  (ok, no so much a ‘word’, but an expression!)  It’s hard to believe how quickly this storyline has moved.

The writers have done a great job showing us that Bridget and Nick live in their own world, that they aren’t tied to his past indiscretions, his slimeball move of sleeping with her mother and her aunt.  I get it.  I  just think that it’s now time to show that Bridget and Nick can live in the same world with Katie and Brooke, with no problem.  Let the Logan women pull together and figure out Sandy’s game plan… and then let them beat her at it.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea for Sandy to have an unexpected ally, someone who might be motivated to keep “Nicket” busy while she makes moves toward stealing back custody of Jack… TAYLOR!  Taylor and Sandy could form a destructive bond, much like the bond Taylor has with Steffy.

There’s something about the two women that suggests that they could be good friends and partners in hell-raising.    Taylor, who has lost Phoebe in this past year, watched Steffy become a scheming man-eater (after having been pulled into taylor’s earlier plans to scheme to get Ridge back), Tommy became a car bomber, and Ridge made it clear that Brooke is and always has been the love of his life.  Why wouldn’t she want Jack back?  Why wouldn’t she be fed up with watching everyone else be happy, and not her? Why wouldn’t she engage in the twisted logic she’s known for and think that it’s unfair that Bridget and  Nick would get to keep ‘her’ child and have their own?  Taylor could secretly help Sandy push Bridget over the edge, petition for and be granted custody of, Jack –  as Sandy makes a move on Nick.  Both would fail in the end, but it could be fun watching them try to ruin the lives of other and watch the Logans band together to stop them.

There will still be room left for Sandy after that!  There’s always Brooke’s golden boy, Rick.  Rick (like his niece Steffy) has a knack for becoming involved with the one person who’ll bring the most discord into his family’s life.  Sandy fits the bill pretty nicely.

The Cougar and The Kitten

For as much as I’m enjoying the beastly behavior of the BnB’s new bad girl, Steffy Forrester, someone has to clue me in as to why Owen would even consider  fooling around with  Steffy and risk losing his wife for her.  Sure, she’s young, but what else does she have to offer?

She’s not well-educated.

She’s not interesting.

She’s not accomplished.

She’s certainly not bright.

The only thing she has to offer Owen is sex, and let’s face it, given Jackie’s past and varied experiences, she can rock Owen’s world forwards and backwards.  As for Steffy, seriously, what man REALLY wants to go there with a woman whose first sexual experience was with the man she use to call ‘Uncle’ until just a few years before she slept with him? To make matters worse, “Uncle Rick” was using her after having already slept with her mother and having tried to sleep with her twin before that.  What a catch Steffy would be!

The only thing that makes Steffy remotely interesting is her status as a third generation hypocrite.  She, like her mother and grandmother before her, has spent her time judging other ‘less worthy humans’ for their actions.  It was just a few short weeks ago that Steffy was pointing her crooked finger at Brooke and proclaiming her a certain kind of woman, one who didn’t respect other people’s families and relationships.  Oddly enough, she was sitting in judgment of Brooke while trying to break up Brooke’s family.  It’s a good thing for Jackie that she’s not married to a relative of Steffy’s… a least not a relative Steffy would be comfortable sleeping with, because familial relationships mean nothing on this soap and for Steffy intra-familial loving draws her like a moth to the flame.   If Jackie was married to a distant enough relative, there would be no stopping Ms. Steffy, who wouldn’t let go until she had him.  As it stands, she’ll probably grow bored of Owen by the time the newest ‘near relative’ hits town.

No matter where the writers take Jackie and Owen in the future, I want Jackie to at least have an early victory over smug homewrecking Steffy (wasn’t that what Steffy called Brooke, or how she thought of her?  Ah, sweet irony!)  I would like to see the ‘older woman’ win at least once.  Stephanie Forrester, for obvious reasons, never had that victory – but she was a different kind of woman.  She as filled with anger and vitriol.  She was cold and aloof, and had little time to return the love she was given — she was too fixated on her obsessions, most especially her Logan obsession.  Jackie is warm, and loving, and cares deeply and passionately for those she around her. That a woman like Jackie regardless of her age would lose out to a dim bulb like Steffy is almost inconceivable.

Jackie’s very existence is antithetical to that of Steffy’s.  Where Steffy still lives off the graces of her parents, Jackie controls an empire of her own making.  Where Steffy is maze dull, Jackie is a bright woman (who occasionally does dumb things – Deacon).  Steffy thinks the world revolves around her and her needs and desires.    Jackie can be misguided, but her focus is on what she believes she needs to do to make others happy.   Hands down, Jackie is the winner.  Steffy?  Not so much.

The sign of a doomed relationship

In the real world, the fact that ‘he’ is your uncle would be enough for anyone to realize that dating him is a really REALLY bad idea… for those who DON’T think of it as a bad idea? There are one of two explanations

1 – You’re waiting for a call from the ‘Springer’ show. Good luck as a headlining guest and remember: when the bell rings, you don’t HAVE to fight your sister just because she’s stolen your uncle boyfriend. Break the chain!

2 – You’re a soap character and as long as you can rule out a blood link with your hottie uncle, it’s all good!

If a familial relationship isn’t enough to end a relationship in the reel world, the fact that Mr. Wrong repeatedly brags to your father (his brother) about how hot the sex with you is, and how he’s using you to make your daddy angry, should be. The Bold and The Beautiful’s Steffy Forrester has GREAT hair… but it would be nice if there was something in her head besides hair follicles! What is the point of her becoming involved with Rick again, other than to prove that she’s crazy – and not good can’t-wait-to-see-what-she’ll-do-next crazy, either?

How do you know that the man you’re in love with, uncle or not, is WRONG for you? That’s EASY! When HE says:

Rick: (Sneers)

Ridge: All right… (Sighs) I’m all yours. What’s on your mind, Ricky boy?

Rick: Oh, nothing much, really. I just came here to give you these designs and to make you squirm a little bit more. It’s kind of becoming my favorite pastime.

Ridge: You got something to say, say it. I’m all ears.

Rick: I kind of feel bad for you. I mean, I’ve got your little girl wrapped around my finger, and it’s eating you alive. There’s just nothing you can do, kind of like there was nothing I could do when I was a kid growing up and you were hurting my mom over and over again, making her life a living hell. It’s payback time, Ridge. It’s time that you know how it feels, how I felt, watching someone I loved get tortured endlessly by a man who had no idea who in hell who he wanted to be with. Do you think your daughter would like a little torture, a little “naughty” torture in the bedroom, hmm? What do you think? I think it would drive her wild. Do you, too?

Ridge: Still that angry little boy, huh?

Rick: Oh, Ridge, this has nothing to do with anger. This is way beyond anger. I hate you. I hate you, and I have never hated anybody in my entire life.

Ridge: And you want to get back at me?

Rick: No, I want to put you in a psychological trap, like the one I was in when I was a kid and the one you’re in right now.

Ridge: Steffy’s gonna see right through you.

Rick: Oh, no, she won’t. Steffy is not your little girl anymore. I own her. Do you hear what I’m saying to you, Ridge? I own her. And there’s not a damn thing you can do to change that.

Ridge: Keep talking, Rick.

Rick: Oh, I will. You ain’t heard nothing yet.

And he continues with:

Ridge: You got more you want to lay on me, Ricky boy?

Rick: More? Hell, Ridge, I’m just gettin’ started. See, you need to understand that this is the changing of the guard. You’ve been the big man around here since you hit puberty– women falling at your feet, women swooning. “Ridge Almighty.” But not anymore, because your beautiful, sophisticated, smart little girl Steffy has fallen for me. (Laughs) How delicious is that? She worships me, Ridge. She would do anything for me, anything I ask. I may not have your rugged cheekbones, your award-winning smile, but I got it where it counts, and Steffy knows it.

Rick: (Chuckles) Ridge, can you believe this? The irony in this situation that–that Steffy has fallen madly in love with me of all people? And you hate me more than anybody else in this entire world. And I have Steffy eating out of my hands. And if you keep fighting us, if you make us miserable, I will take her the hell away from here, and you will never see her again.

Ridge: Oh, please, keep talking.

Rick: See, my marriage to Steffy– it’s not about two people in love. It’s about revenge. It’s about revenge for the years of pain that you have inflicted upon my mother and me. So when I’m saying my vows in your little destiny-westiny spot on the beach, I’m not even gonna be looking at my bride. I’m gonna be looking at you, poncho, and the pain etched in your face as you say “bye-bye” to another daughter.

Rick: Ugh, that arrogant look of yours– it just makes me sick.

Ridge: I’m arrogant?

Rick: You know, Ridge, I want to talk to you about something. See, I’m not– I’m not really happy with the way you treat the president of this company. Like, when I walk into a room, I don’t want you to say, “Oh, hey, little Ricky boy. How are you?” No, I want you to act like the president just walked into the room, ’cause you’re gonna treat me with respect. When I’m married to Steffy, I’m gonna be able to make her something that you’ve never been able to– a real Forrester, something that you have been pretending to be your entire life. Isn’t that right, “Marone”?

Ridge: Oh, don’t stop.

Rick: Oh, believe me, I’m not–

Ridge: Come on, you’re just getting wound up here.

Rick: Yeah, exactly.

Ridge: Keep going.

Rick: I’m not gonna stop. You ain’t ever gonna get me to shut up, Ridge. I’m gonna throw this in your face for the rest of your life. You’re gonna hear about us all the time. You’re gonna have a front row seat on holidays and–and–and birthdays and my favorite– my favorite– Valentine’s Day. I had an idea. You know what we should do? We should double date. You and my mom and Steffy and I, we could head up the coast. We can get two cabins right next to each other. I got to– I got to warn you, though. If my cabin’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’, ’cause you know what we’re gonna be doing? We’re gonna be making little Ridgies. I can see the steam comin’ out of your ears.

Ridge: (Sighs)

Rick: And the veins bulging in your neck. You want to punch me, don’t you? Go ahead. Hit me. Hit me! What’s wrong? You chicken? (Clucking) Come on, Ridge! What’s the matter with you? What, are you getting a little green in the gills? You comin’ down with something? You better not be. You need all the strength that you can get, ’cause you got to be able to walk your little daughter down the aisle on our wedding day. We’re gonna be one, big, happy family. And I can’t wait to put that ring on Steffy’s finger, ’cause then we can go off to the honeymoon, and that night is gonna be the greatest night of Steffy’s life… Dad.


BnB’s Taylor is RIGHT! To a degree

Brooke chose her ADULT SON over her marriage! Despite the fact that the list of Rick’s enemies grew longer by the day, with former friends and close family members disgusted at the sight of him, Brooke chose to believe that the world had suddenly taken leave of its senses. She needed to believe that the son she fought to save from a psychotic break in his youth and not grown up only to become a malignant narcissist. She thought that loving him enough would heal his sick soul. She was wrong.

(And again, IF ONLY Bridget had received a tenth of the support Rick has received. Nick would have been castrated for his treatment of Bridget and there would NEVER have been the disastrous returns to a Brooke-Nick relationship).

That’s as much credit as I can give Taylor without wondering where the HELL the writers are going with this character. For me, she’s always been a bit of manipulator, and highly unrealistic, but this time she takes the cake! It’s bad enough that she’s failed to take her own advice: Get over a man who doesn’t want you and has never been faithful to you. Ridge was never sexually unfaithful, but he was emotionally unfaithful almost every day of their marriage. NOW she chides Brooke on

1 – Coddling her mentally ill son (uh, hello! THOMAS) and

2 – Putting an adult son FIRST in a relationship. (uh, hello! STEPHANIE)

WHY was the ok with Taylor when it was STEPHANIE choosing what she wanted for Ridge – instead of what was best for him, focusing her time on RIDGE and RIDGE’S life instead of focusing on her own marriage to Eric?

WHY didn’t Taylor tell Stephanie to leave her marriage to Ridge alone, let HER handle Brooke so that Steph could focus on Eric and their lives together?

Why was Taylor always THANKING Steph for her interference, telling her that she and Ridge would NEVER have made it without Stephanie (which means she KNEW Ridge was with her because of his mother’s interference)?

Taylor was right in saying to Ridge that Brooke chose Rick first EVERY time. Foolishly, she did and that’s about to all change. It’s just too bad that it’s one more sign of Taylor’s love for hypocrisy that she didn’t recognize that she’d already used a ‘mother choosing her adult son’ schtick to go after Brooke’s happiness BEFORE.