General Hospital: What’s not to love about this show?

MichaelQ Sonny CarlyClearly, becoming a Quartermaine has made Michael SMARTER!  He has seen through Lord Larry in record time, dumped his duplicitous parents, and stopped accepting excuses from everyone who keeps claiming they want to love and protect him – while plotting to keep him in the dark about the “fundamental truth of his life”.  Sonny killed his father and was aided and abetted by  his mother. Taking a life is such an inhuman act, even on soaps.  To have it treated as a minor altercation was mind blowing, so I’m glad that the writers have finally stopped treating the violence on the show as commonplace and trivial.  Watching Michael turn his back on his parents was a thing of beauty (and I say this as someone who LONG ago supported Sonny and Carly protecting Michael from AJ).  Sonny and Carly were never innocents, and AJ was never all bad, but there was a point at which they were able to be parents and deserved to love Michael without the constant threat of losing him… then came the kidnappings, and presumed deaths, and the violence that was so outrageous it lead to Michael falling into a coma after a bullet meant for Sonny landed in his brain. That was followed up by Michael’s enforcer dreams, Michael taking a life, a prison sentence,  and sexual violation.  It became impossible for me to see how they could ever be considered anything other than an unmitigated disaster in that kid’s life.

If we were having this conversation out loud, you might be tempted to tell me that:  Franco was responsible for Michael’s rape (or more like Franco’s associate).  Faith Rosco kidnapped Michael.  Claudia was responsible for Michael’s coma and for the fact that he ended up taking her life.  Yeah, got all of that… and yet all of it is tied to the fact that these were people gunning for his father, aimed at hurting his father and mother, and Michael became “collateral damage” along the way.  At no point was Sonny ever allowed by the writers to show growth and put his family before lifestyle… yes, he tried to break free and couldn’t because of the power vacuum it created and the additional risk to his children… got it… the writers could have had Sonny leave his family and watch over them from a distance.  They didn’t.  In Sonny Corinthos they created a character who is loathsome, selfish, vain, and hateful despite his dimples (shame on Lucy and FCarly Is Arrestedelicia).  By the time he got around to daily threatening to kill a pregnant Ava once her child was born, he was done, in my book.

It felt good to watch AJ ‘s son walk away from the dark, unsalvageable, things his parents became. Carly faulted Franco for Michael’s rape… and then fell in love with him… and then threw the rape of her son in his face when he exposed her as a cheat and liar.  Was Michael’s pain never in her mind before that?  Every time that man touched her did she not feel sick thinking of what happened to her son?  Was Michael’s rape a weapon she was waiting to use any time they had a disagreement?  Franco becomes angry that she didn’t do the dishes so she tells him she’s still mad he was responsible for her son’s rape?  I’m guessing it would have also been a useful argument in getting him to mow the lawn, take down the Christmas tree, do laundry, etc.

Michael’s emotional upset at watching her get close to Franco was never the tipping point?  Carly’s “love” for Franco, and willingness to marry him, was more about protecting Sonny than making sure Michael did not have to re-live one of the worst times in his short life – and there have been so many awful times for that child.  She even allowed her son to be the best man at their failed wedding.  What kind of mother does that?  She continues to say that Franco blew her family apart, not Sonny’s depraved act of killing AJ.  It was Franco, not the fact that she lied and put herself between her son and the truth for Sonny’s sake.  Nope.  It’s all Franco.  Useless.  Carly’s lack of insight into the damage she’s caused to others is frightening.  It was entertaining when she was young.  It’s migraine inducing as she ages.  Ages is supposed to bring wisdom.  Instead, it only seems to bring gag inducing helpings of stupidity and cruelty for Carly.  She becomes more selfish in time, not less.

In a soap-to-soap mashup?  I would expect a “worst mother/daughter/sister” of the year face off between GH’s Carly, BnB’s Brooke Logan, and DAYS’ Sami Brady.  I think the title would be a fight to the finish between Brooke and Carly, or at least a tie.

Sonny is BookedOddly enough, only Sonny seems to be experiencing any true remorse.  Carly is still raging at the world and trying to force her son to love her and respect her again (a right I think she’s given up by protecting Sonny when even she should have been disgusted with him).  Sonny is willing to suffer the consequences of his betrayal of AJ’s son, the child he made a promise to love and protect, long ago, finally realizing that he allowed his hatred for AJ, disguised as love for Connie, mattered more than every day he ever spent raising and nurturing Michael.  At least the writers have allowed Sonny to show some insight into his behavior.  I don’t think they will ever allow Carly to grow up and learn that her actions have consequences.  I no longer care if they do.  I will simply cherish the moments of seeing handcuffs slapped on Carly and having her spend some time behind bars.  While I see zero hope for Carly, I do see hope for Sonny (if the constantly swirling rumors of Maurice Benard’s leaving aren’t true).  I don’t want Sonny in Michael’s life again, but I would love for the writers to take this opportunity to reinvent Sonny.  Let him be someone completely different from the man he has been all these years.  Benard is such a gifted actor with so many more stories he could help tell, I hope that happens, for the sake of the show and its fans.

What I love most?

There is one more Quartermaine in the world of Port Chuckles, and after losing Alan, Lila, Edward, and Tracy, I am happy to see Michael back in the fold.  What’s that?  Tracy hasn’t passed away?  She may as well be gone, given her repeated betrayal of her family and her willingness to put them all at risk for the sake of “love” for a man she clearly doesn’t know well enough to realize that something is wrong and that the man she married couldn’t stand her touch.  Even Liz and Sam are picking up the “NuJase is OldJase” vibes.  Eh, I’ll save all of that for another blog, another time.  Maybe I’ll be able to soon blog about the return of Jason Quartermaine, one day soon!

GH: Some Days, Watching This Show Is a Little Like THIS (warning: brief nudity)

Yes, yes, and since the nudity involves Paul Bettany – seriously, .. you should thank me!  As for GH  “blame” more than “thank” is the word I’m looking for when thinking about what sort of credit should be given.   What follows is what I LIKE about GH right now and what I hate, though hate me be too strong of a word since it motivated me to find a nude Paul Bettany clip!

What I love!

I love that the writers can make me love (some) couples when I thought that my feelings for them were forever dead.  You know where this is going!  Lucky and Liz.  She has long been, for me, one of the sleaziest most unbearable women in daytime.  With respect to her lovelife, she’s the female Sonny Corinthos.  If there’s a man she’s been involved with that she HASN’T carried a child for, surely he must be sterile.  For a nurse, her knowledge and use of family planning devices carries as stellar a record as Port Chuckle’s cognitively limited Dapper Don.  That Liz and Sonny don’t have a child together amazes me.  Somehow the writers let that one slip by – unless my memory is so shoddy I just don’t remember a Lonny Love Child.  

Everything about Liz makes me cringe, and yet when Liz and Lucky are together, the magic happens!

It’s not just having JJ back in the role of Lucky because honestly, I wasn’t the biggest fan of that move.  Greg Vaughn’s soulful eyes and hunkalicious abs still haunt me, folks, and I miss him in the role.  I wish both “Luckys” could have survived, in whatever weird storyline plot the writers could come up with – I’m easy like that.  As for Lucky and Liz?  Somehow, the writers have figured out how to use the LL2 family with precision accuracy.  Even with Vaughn in the role, the LL2 writing, as centered around the family, is thoughtful, loving, sweet and tender.  They’re the kind of moments the writers use to give us more of in the glory days of GH.  It was the loving and tender moments that balanced against the occasional dark scenes when darkness on GH meant a huge and adventurous battle between the villains out to destroy Port Charles and the heroic men and women who fought back. 

Now?  The frequent darkness (violent and vile) is balanced against he occasional loving family scene.  When I see them, they breathe new life into the show for me, even if for a limited time.  I can thank the writers for that.  More of THAT, please.

What I still hate!

Real men, like Jax, have to be taken down a peg when they cross paths with the Apple Dumpling Gang (Carly, Sonny, Jason).  Women in Sonny’s life have to proclaim him a hero, no matter how low or how sleazy he gets.  The only time they stand up to him is when the actress in the role is leaving the show.  The idea that Carly gets to put on blinders to sacrifice another man’s child to stay close to Sonny makes me terribly ill.  In Caroline Benson – Carly Corinthos’ world:

  •  being kidnapped by your father’s enemies builds character. 
  • Being photographed “dead” by a loon who fakes your death only toughens you up – besides, isn’t that photo now sitting on her mantle?  Good.Times.
  • getting shot in the head and spending most of your formative years in a coma, shot while someone was aiming for dad?  Well that just gives you one kick ass essay for your college apps (Let little Mr. Kappa Kappa Legacy top that one!). 
  • if your son ends up in prsion because his idiot father makes self defense look like murder in a cover up?  WELL!  The hell he suffers there is just his initiation into how hard life can be at times.  Welcome to the majors, future crime boss! 

DAMN Jax for worring about his little girl ending up with a bullet in her brain – or worse.

DAMN Brenda for not being a woman tough enough to stick out a few hard times, just because she’s already been kidnapped while under Sonny’s protection and her son was threatened.   Weenie.

DAMN the world for thinking that little Corinthos children who plan to kidnap a child to “save” her from the graceful love of her father are somehow wrong and pathological!  Future criminals don’t become desensitized to right and wrong all on their own!

Thank goodness for Sonny and Caroline-Carly, making childhood a little less safe, one tragic event at a time.  Someone should remind Carly of these moments:

Yeah.  Good.Times.

To which I can say that I will not miss Bob Guza when he’s gone.  Not.One.Bit.

General Hospital: It’s just a damned soap!

Get over it. or how about?

You know it’s not real, right? or

How can you take something that’s not real so seriously?

Those are the obnoxious comments non soap fans usually throw at soap fans when they show up on message boards to taunt us about our silly love for “dumb assed’ soaps… Then they run back to their favorite gamer/fan boi/fan gurl boards and battle over their fave fictional characters.  It’s also a charge some soap fans use on other soapers to prove that THEY are the ones who watch for enjoyment, while other soap fans are just cracked.

Well, I could have used one of those pseudo-superior pains in the ass yesterday.  I would have been too busy arguing with one of them to watch GH.  And then I wouldn’t have had to question my sanity.  Am I taking this all too seriously?  Is there anything enjoyable about GH’s  ‘Suckpranos’  any more?  If Claudia’s death scenes were supposed to create an atmosphere of  edge-of-your-seat drama?  They were an epic FAIL!  If they were supposed to make me despise Sonny, Carly, Jason, Sam and the rebirth of Michael “MyKill” Corinthos?  They were an epic SUCCESS!

I feel dirty having watched those scenes

I felt dirty watching Carly cuddle with sweet little Josslyn, while MyKill was staring at his hands, stained with Claudia’s blood.  The look he gave her while she did it chilled me.  Did he feel abandoned?  Was  he angry with her?  Did he feel he’d sold his soul for her and ‘Jax’s baby’?

I felt dirty watching everyone treat Jax as if he really was sacrificing Michael to protect his child.  Jax is ALONE.  Even Carly puts his child’s health at risk for the sake of her other children.  Jax isn’t sacrificing Michael, he’s protecting his child – Michael has a city full of mobsters and two highly enmeshed parents to protect him.

I felt dirty watching Jason and Sam talk about covering up Claudia’s death when Michael was clearly  trying to protect his mother against a violent woman and should not have to stand trail for that.  I would rather the writers had taken that route and let Michael deal with his own guilt at having taken a life.

I felt DIRTIEST watching psychotic Sonny tell Michael he ‘did a good thing’ (or words to that effect) by taking Claudia out.  I can’t say that it’s the exact quote, but close enough.  I’m a still a little woozy from scrubbing my brain every time I think of that scene.   A GOOD thing?  So Sonny is now the Martha Stewart of the mob set?  No, it wasn’t a GOOD THING, it’s what Michael felt he had to do to protect his mother from her abductor, and his sister from growing up a captive.  Nothing about it made it a ‘good thing’, since it was Sonny who brought Claudia into his children’s lives.

I felt dirty watching Sonny tell Jason to bury Claudia as close to hell as he could – considering the fact that everyone keeps talking about what a great man and great father he is ( most especially from the mouth of NuLois/Olivia Falconeri, who didn’t bother to let him help her raise her son.  It’s on coincidence that Dante/Dominic is the only one of Sonny’s adult/near-adult children who isn’t a wreck of a person).  His statement was also mind-blowing given the fact that Sonny spoke those words as if he and Jason wouldn’t soon see Claudia in hell.  Wait, I forgot, they’re the good mobsters.

I felt dirty, and angry, watching Max and Milo argue with Jason about whether it was smart to burn the cabin once they disposed of the body.  Milo and Max use to be the comic relief of the show and fans could imagine that they never really got their hands dirty.  Now we know they do, we’re seeing it, and they’re strategizing about which is the best way to dispose of a human being.

I felt dirty watching Carly hold that sweet child, and smile at Jax, as if nothing had happened, as if his newborn child wasn’t just involved in yet another of Sonny’s fiasco-filled escapades.  While I once loved Jax and Carly, I now know that I wouldn’t mind if he took custody of that child and kept Carly away.

I felt dirty remembering rooting against AJ, hoping he NEVER got his hands on Carly and Jason’s (and then Sonny’s) kid.  I remember the sweet cherub Michael had once been, and felt sick believing that the writers felt that there was no choice but to make Michael as screwed up as the people around him, the people who defended all of his actions and wanted others to apologize to the dark Prince Michael.  What was worse is that they’re right!  How many kids like Michael can escape the dark future ahead of them with parents who pave the way and keep the roads clear of stumbling blocks (you know, like morals, decency, integrity, a sense of right and wrong)?

If I’m spinning this into a positive, the writers have also proven that Alexis is right, FINALLY (even if unintentionally).   Kristina and Michael are siblings, but they’re very different people.  Kristina has a chance, if she stays away from her father.  She has a mother who doesn’t believe that sunshine shoots out of Sonny’s private parts.  Her mother doesn’t think the mob life is glamorous, despite the stupidity of having slept with Sonny in the past.  She wants better for her daughter.  I hope the writers allow her to remain consistent in giving her daughter a fighting chance.

If soaps are around in a decade (maybe less), I could imagine Kristina as Port Chuckle’s new D.A.  Having lived with her mother, and stepfather Mac Scorpio,  she’ll have a different view of crime.  She’ll love her brother Michael, but she’ll end up putting him in prison with their father, Sonny and Uncle Jason – as her brother Dominic did years earlier.

Having read that last paragraph, I’ll bet you’re questioning my sanity too, right?  Well, at least I now have company!  I know, I know… it’s just a soap.

Is it wrong? (General Hospital)

That I love the idea of:

… GH’s Patrick being a wanton sex god?  How unrealistic would it have been for Patrick’s ex-hookup’s good friend to not give him the eye?  His reputation precedes him!  I don’t mind that other women give him the eye, want to seduce him, or think he’s hot… as long as he remains Robin’s wanton sexgod, I’m all good! We had another of those rare moments in soaps, last week.  A reformed playboy let’s those around him know that he’s HAPPY with his life and wouldn’t trade being a father and husband in and any part of his past.   We need moments like that to wash the rest of it clean!  By the time he was getting the lusty eye from the new ADA, it just rolled off me.  No Scrubs Love fear that she would drive a wedge between them.  OH, and double bonus points for the writers having Robin use the phrase “Scorpio Drake family”.

… SB’s ‘Claudia’ end coming near.  The writers are making Claudia such  a despicable toon that she really does deserve to have something awful happen to her (I’m thinking prison, where both she AND Sonny belong – not murder).  I have to be honest.  I don’t want her to ‘get what’s coming’ because she’s despicable – that’s what also makes her FUN.  I can’t wait for her to go because SB then turns up as ‘Sandy Sommers’ on the BnB the following day and I’ve been aching in anticipation of seeing what gifts she brings to the show.

…Greg Vaughn being the “Lucky” to win Elizabeth’s heart before JJ’s episodes begin airing?  Won’t happen, I know, but it would have been the most decent thing TPTB could have done for GV’s fans.  It would send Vaughn’s Lucky out on a high note (if you can count winning cheating Elizabeth’s heart for a moment a ‘high’).  Vaughn has taken the character of Lucky to some pretty dramatic highs – through the character’s emotional lows following the drug addiction storyline.  I can’t imagine even the beloved JJ doing such a great job with the storyline.  Don’t get me wrong, I love JJ’s interpretation of Lucky – he originated the role a nd made the character one to root for, I just couldn’t see him pulling the story off as well as Vaughn did.

…Alexis finally being the person to catch the perfect daughter in the act of throwing herself away on some pinhead?  Sam, on one hand, is doing the responsible thing by making sure “K” is protected from her own bad choices, but at the same time, it’s bothersome that Alexis is completely cut out of her daughter’s life.  (Honestly, I’m shocked that no one has run to Sonny to have him break the kid’s kneecaps. He’s treated as more of a parent to Kristina than Alexis is).  The writers continue to lead Alexis out to the edge to try to  ‘make sense’ of the fact that she’s not the person her daughter trusts, even after she took the rap for Claudia’s accident.   Sorry writers, we know that Alexis is too clever to keep going after Michael and trying to drive a wedge between the siblings.   The brilliant woman she was before becoming a ‘Sonny’s Baby Mama’ would have made sure that Michael and ‘K’ spent most of their time at her home, so that should keep an eye on them.  THIS Alexis is ingracious and obnoxious… and I’m not buying it.

… Dominante taking the mob boys down?  UH!  I’m living for the day Sonny and Jason are in adjoining cells and wearing orange jumpsuits!  Dominante was sickened at how easily Sonny ordered another man’s death.  Will that change once he finds out that Sonny is his father?  I hope not.  I hope he continues to be repulsed by Sonny, and maybe by his mother for having loved a man like that.   I would rather see Sonny finally have to work to win someone else’s respect.   I don’t just want Sonny and Jason to have to do some time in prison and lose all of their assets.  I want this to be a new beginning for them.  I hope this means that the writers are closer than ever to bringing the mob to an end… dare to dream?  If the writers must keep them around, drop the dark drama that surrounds them!

… the new Cassadine wiping the floor with Nik?  Sorry folks, I’m not interested in his redemption.

Robin and Carly: The buddy movie…

So…GH writers have decided to have Carly talk with Robin and help her realize that she does indeed have PPD, following Emma’s birth. Good! That’s right, I LIKE it! If you’re still reading let me tell you why. (If you’re still reading AND giving me the finger – save it for Guza and Frons. You know they have more screwing up to do and I’m just a soap blogger with an opinion).

Here’s what I like about Carly reaching out to Robin: it puts an end to the silliest feud in soap history. It closes the chapter on both women’s lives as mobster molls.

Carly and Robin’s antagonism was linked to their love for Jason and his confusion about his feelings for them. It was when Carly taunted Robin with the idea that Jason would always be a part of her and Michael’s lives that the stink hit the fan.

Robin wanted Carly to give Michael to her and Jason to raise. Carly, of course, said no and Robin told AJ the truth – that he, not Jason, was Michael’s father. Robin felt that she was ‘protecting’ Jason – uh huh… The animosity has grown steadily since that time.

Now? Both women have moved on. Both have grown – Carly at a slower pace and not without taking a few hits. Both women can hold their heads up high (and without worrying about being shot since their current husbands aren’t gangsters. In Carly’s case I should add that she no longer has to fear taking another shot to the dome).

In the years that have passed they’ve had real lives, careers, children, and chances at real happiness. Their conflict over something that no longer matters is tired and stale and childish. When women go to war on this show, let it be over something worth fighting for – like stocks, bonds, and board room dominance.

Let Carly and Robin make peace and move on. Neither is (or should be) in love with Jason so hanging on to any animosity related to that time in their lives dishonors them both and the good men who love them.

I’m afraid to look….are you stilll giving me the finger?

GH – Robin Scorpio, Welcome Home

What’s that, you say?  Robin has been home for years now?  No, dear readers, only Robin’s body has been showing up on screen every day.  The REAL Robin Scorprio is finally back home and she’s now part of ABC’s bid to become the Anti-SoapFather network.  OLTL’s Starr Manning has told her ‘baby’s daddy’ that he’s treating her fetus as if it’s HIS family.  Now GH’s Robin is actively fighting to take away Patrick’s right to see his child because he was unsure of being a father in the first place, something he told her he wasn’t ready for, long before she became pregnant.

The Robin who’s given Patrick hell over seeing his child?  THAT’S the real Robin, as far as I’m concerned.  Is Robin treating Patrick’s fears about becoming a father as a personal rejection?  Most likely.  It’s in Robin’s history, and her nature, to do so.  Robin has a sordid history when it comes to infants and their fathers.

Some of you may recall that Robin revealed the truth about Michael Corinthos’ paternity when he was just an infant.  Why?  According to Robin, it’s because she felt that AJ had the right to know that HE, not his brother Jason, was Michael’s biological father.  That would have made sense and not seemed so self-deluding if the scenes just before Robin’s ‘attack of conscience’ weren’t of her and Carly arguing about who should raise Michael.  Robin felt that she and Jason were best suited to care for him, since they were a couple and weren’t as ammoral as Carly – yes, despite Jason’s role as a mob hitman.

Carly, being Carly, scoffed at the idea and taunted Robin by telling her that Jason would also be bonded to the two of them (Carly and Michael) and that there was nothing she could do about it.   Carly was wrong, Robin’s next move was to call Aj.  She effectively made sure that Jason could not and would not be Michael’s father.  If she couldn’t have Jason and Michael to herself, there would be no need for Jason to raise that child.

That was the day I began to despise Robin and didn’t care if she ever graced the screen again, until Patrick!  For me, Robin hadn’t redeemed herself, Patrick made her tolerable.  That poor, dumb, hot-as-hell, bastard!  If only he’d known about Robin’s past – or at least known the full story.   I know that many GH fans have fond memories of Robin as a child, but she lost her ‘cute quotient’ for me shortly after she began dating Jason.  The shrill, self-righteous, moralizing woman some of you see now, as she attempts to cut Patrick out of his child’s life, is the Robin I’ve been annoyed by for years to come.

Believe it or not, I’m glad the issue was resolved without a court ruling,  and that Patrick and Robin found their way back to one another.  I like Patrick, and not just because he has abs you can eat off of, but because he’s honest -even if you don’t like hearing what he has to say.  What a rarity for daytime males.  I also like Patrick because he’s not afraid of saying to Robin what others have been either too afraid to say or too reverent and all-worshipping to say to her – she’s a pain in the ass who sits in judgment of others far too often!  I like Patrick because as much as I don’t want to, he gives me a reason to want to like Robin again.  Well done, Patrick, well done.