If loving effed up characters is wrong

…I don’t wanna be right.  There are some characters so crazy and/or so outrageous that I can’t help loving them. Of course, I wonder about that dark dark place my imagination retires to if I find such a sense of affinity with these characters, but EH!

I’d worry about it more – if I had the time. Right now, I’m too busy watching:

1. Days Of Our Lives. Thank YOU ‘John Black’… I mean it. NuBlack has kept me strangely fascinated. I literally stare at the guy when he’s on screen. I’m waiting for the punchline, for his portrayer to step out of character and scream ‘GOTCHA’!!! I couldn’t figure out why that raspy whispery whacked out voice he uses these days is so familiar. I’ve finally figured it out. Fans of the Jim Carrey film, ‘Me, Myself, and Irene’ REJOICE! “Hank” has made his way to daytime TV:

As much as I love the ‘pre-memory- loss’ John Black, post-memory- loss John Black is funny and I don’t care whether he means to be or not. I can’t say that I’ll miss him when he goes, but I will continue to get a good chuckle out of him while he’s around.

2. Is it wrong to root for the bitch goddesses of daytime? I so, why does it feel so good? I love the YnR’s Chloe! Not since the golden era of Sheila Carter has a sociopath made daytime worth watching again. I’m actually tuning in to the YnR, lately, because of her! By ‘tuning in to the YnR’, I mean watching on the days I know Chloe will be on. The look on Lily’s face, when she found out that Cane wasn’t excluded as the father of Chloe’s child made the lie almost worth the excruciating pain I feel whenever Lily is on. It’s not just that Chloe lies with such ease, it’s that she enjoys it so much and that she’s not repetant. Gotta’ love a manipulating schemer who torments the town’s priss and doesn’t lose a night’s sleep over it. I consider Chloe the writers’ gift, to me… ok, maybe not just to ME, but sometimes it feels like such a gift.

3. One Life to Live – Tess Brennan. Still lovin’ OLTL but the writers really have to get on the stick with the Tess story. Tess is the ‘Amped’ version of the YnR’s Chloe. Faking a baby’s daddy (as Chloe has done), taking a life, making French Toast…MEH… it’s all the same for Miss Tess. The problem is that with the heavy focus on Mendorra, the creepy faux friendship with Marty and Todd, Bo/Rex’s time travel, and the painstakingly boring teen pregnancy storyline with Starr and Cole, and there won’t be much of charismatic Tess’ storyline to care about. The writers have made the mistake, in my opinion, of waiting too long to tie this storyline together.

They’ve become bored with Tess it seems, as evidenced by the carelessness of the plot. It’s almost incomprehensible that the good townfolk of Llanview haven’t figured things out, yet. I liked Tess the first time around, the one who was too clever to leave so many easily deciphered clues. Tess’ revenge now feels like ‘filler’, to cover the down time in the above-mentioned storylines. Then again, maybe it’s the feeling the writers want us to have – to move beyond the revenge storyline and to have us root for Jess’ return so that she can ‘forgive’ Nat and Jared and all will become one big happy family. Great, but where’s the fun in that? For those of us who’ve missed Tess, I’ve got three words for the writers: Ain’t.Gonna.Happen. We want DRAMA… and for whatever reason, the writers have been coming up short on getting it to us.

4. Guiding Light – Alan “I see dead people’ Spaulding. While I first thought Alan’s visions were fake, and that he was using Gus’ memory to manipulate those around him, I suddenly like the idea that Alan believes in his visions. Even more? how incredibly self-serving is it that Alan believes that Gus is guiding him to pimp the wealthy women of Springfield into helping him reclaim his company? Did anyone else cringe when Alan threatened Bill Lewis with his league of wealthy women believers? EGADS!

Sure, Gus – who wanted as little to do with Alan as possible, now wants Alan to take his ‘visions’ and use them to return to power at Spaulding Enterprises (Maximus my arse). Nah, Gus wouldn’t mind that Alan used his memory to keep himself out of prison. No siree. It wouldn’t have bothered Gus at all that Alan manipulated a teen-aged girl who is as dumb as a box of hair into lying on the witness stand. Nope! Alan is such a miserable bastard. Thank the soapgods that he’s BACK.

Warm, fuzzy, platitude spewing Alan was giving me hives.
5. All My Children – Adam Chandler. In almost ANY battle between Tad Martin and any other soul, it’s Tad all the way for me. That is, except when it comes to Adam. I despise the Carey women, sometimes I love to hate them, but mostly, I cannot tolerate them. And yet Adam Chandler, the resident heartless, soulless psychotic goon that he is, makes me like Krystal. There’s something about them, when they’re together, that makes me want to cheer them on.

I’d believed, when they first got together, that Krystal would take Adam for all he was worth and end up with half of his fortune. Instead the writers ruined what could have been an incredibly hot villainous couple and turned Crystal into Tad’s fawning stepford wife. With Adam, Krystal is always on that border between fun and exciting, and terribly naughty. I’ve always said that I’d never forgive Adam every time he crossed the line: having Dixie institutionalized, his treatment of Stuart, the way he’s driven his children away, his manipulation of JR, secretly impregnating Liza, and making me enjoy Krystal scenes. I forgive him every time. Now he has me rooting AGAINST Tad and hoping Krystal leaves him to be with Adam again. OY!