General Hospital: Dialogue vs. Plot

It’s not mystery that I’m no fan of GH’s Scooby Doo gang:  Sonny, Jason, Carly, and their hangers on.  Let’s not forget the air-head apparent, Michael Corinthos.  While the plots are lousy, the dialogue has been as rich as Creosus!

Lucky to Nikolas (adding such a new complex layer to the stench of the relationship between the brothers, and between Lucky and Liz.  Their betrayal of Lucky was about so much more than the sex):

Lucky: Take a look around, Nikolas. This is an underground dungeon. Your grandmother grabbed my dad and Tracy and tossed them down here like bags of garbage. Who the hell does that? Do you have any idea how sick and insane this is?

Nikolas: Yes, of course I do. But Helena’s not playing this game by herself. Luke’s playing right along. Come on, you know, they get off on this madness.

Lucky: Well, I didn’t. I was just going about my life. It was a good life, by the way. Then Helena took me out of it one day and made everyone think I was dead. She locked me up and messed with my head and my soul. She tried to break me down into something that she could control and then she sent me back to the people who loved me the most like a ticking time bomb.

Nikolas: I know that.

Lucky: There are pieces of me I never got back. And all this time, since your affair with Elizabeth blew up in our faces, did you ever ask yourself why I held on to her so tightly? Why I tried so hard to recreate a time when the love that we shared was real and pure, unmauled by someone who’s as cruel and sadistic as Helena? It’s because Elizabeth represented everything that was taken from me. And our past was the only thing that kept me grounded in our present. And then you came along… and you ruined it without a thought, other than your own self-gratification. So tell me, how can I look at you, knowing all of that… and not see an enemy?

Alexis to Sonny (note that Sonny is completely unaware, as usual.  He’s heard this song before, he just keeps blocking it out… he’s suddenly clueless that he’s emotionally abusive):

Alexis: Okay, here we go. See, that’s kind of what I was talking about yesterday, that we need to keep the focus on Kristina, and it might be counterproductive if you get angry and defensive and make it about you.

Sonny: I’m going to this therapy session to support Kristina.

Alexis: Good. Thank you. And I am very sensitive to the fact that this abuse issue is a hot-button issue.

Sonny: And you know that, you know, my mother and I were, you know, abused, and that’s why I know a little bit of what Kristina’s goin’ through.

Alexis: Right. And you know we have to figure out why Kristina stayed in an abusive relationship, and, you know, through that process, you might hear some things about yourself that–

Sonny: No. No, no. No. Listen. Johnny lied on the stand. Kristina believed him. So that’s what we’re gonna work through.

Alexis: Well, actually no one really cares what Johnny said or didn’t say. I think what you might work through is that she’s seen your temper, and it’s been very disturbing.

Sonny: Do I have to tell you again that I don’t hit women?

Alexis: Well, but you do call them bitches and whores, and that kind of verbal abuse might–

Sonny: You’re either physically violent, or you’re not.

Alexis: Really? See, this is why it’s a good idea that you work this out with her in therapy.

Sonny: No, you know what needs to be done here? No, I don’t– all I know is that I’ve never abused a woman. We don’t have to talk about that anymore.

Alexis: Okay, let’s not.

Carly to Sonny: This one shocks me! Carly’s history has been bowing before Sonny’s imagined greatness and accepting responsibility for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives together.  She seems to have remembered those things the rest of us remembered:

Carly: We are so much alike. I guess that’s what attracted us to each other. We’re impulsive, you know? We don’t realize the damage we’ve caused till it’s already done.

Sonny: You’re dodging the question. Do you honestly think that I abused you?

Carly: Kristina asked me that question.

Sonny: What do you mean Kristina? When?

Carly: After your outburst in court.

Sonny: What’d you say?

Carly: I told her the technical truth.

Sonny: I’m afraid to hear what that means.

Carly: I was as honest with Kristina as I felt was appropriate, Sonny. I’m not Kristina’s parent. There are questions that only you and Alexis should answer. But I did think she deserved the truth as much as I could give it. So I told her that, you know, our relationship was dysfunctional and volatile, that we genuinely loved each other, but we were toxic together. And that no, you never hit me.

Sonny: Thank God for that.

Carly: I mean, you shot me in the head once, but accidents happen. Can you…can you still hear us? I mean, I can. I can hear the yelling and things breaking. I can hear you calling me a faithless whore. Screaming at the top of your lungs that I’m worthless. I’ve never seen anyone get as angry as you. And your rage, Sonny, your rage is overwhelming. You zero in on what’s weak in someone, and you hammer away. You dismantle it piece by piece. And I look back, and I’m horrified at myself. I’m horrified that I put up with it, that I rationalized it, and I participated in it. But that was my illness. I stayed with you, and I let it happen over and over again. The vicious cycle. And you know what, Sonny? It’s called abuse.

Nah… Sonny’s not abusive… no sirree (at least not in his head)!  Doesn’t every man repeatedly refer to his wife as a whore?

Olivia to Sonny:

Sonny: I kinda expected you to understand the situation a little better, but…

Olivia: I do understand, Sonny. And I’m telling you right now, as someone who’s known you for a very long time, you need to change the way that you deal with women, okay? And there’s no shame in that. Talk to somebody. That’s what therapy’s for!

Sonny: But you’re acting like I’m some kind of animal like Kiefer. Yeah, I got a lot of rage inside of me. But I haven’t been that way with all the women I’ve been with. Just the ones that push me and push me. But I’ve never crossed the line. I love my daughter. I love her with everything I got. And I want to help her through this, but there’s no way that I’m going to say I’m an abuser when I’m not.

Olivia: I’m not saying you’re like Kiefer, Sonny. I know that you would never hit a woman. But there’s a lot of other ways to be abusive. Right?

Sonny: Okay.

Olivia: Okay. See, I know what you want through. I know what Deke did to you and your ma, and I can only imagine the things that you suffered through. And you were a little kid. I get that. But you survived, right?

Sonny: Mm-hmm.

Olivia: And you turned yourself into the kind of man that you wanted to be. You’re powerful, you’re successful, you got kids that mean the world to you. I mean, no one else would look at you and know what’s going on right under the surface.

Sonny: What’s the point?

Olivia: My point is, my point is, don’t believe your own hype. Sonny, okay, you can put one over on the whole rest of the world, but don’t put one over on yourself. Okay, don’t get caught up in believing that, because you made something out of your life, that that abuse didn’t have an effect on every part of you, okay? It directly affects everything, especially the way that you treat other people.

Sonny: You’re talking like I think I’m perfect, and I’m nowhere near perfect.

Olivia: Look, okay, you got Carly claiming that you abused her.

Sonny: Right.

Olivia: Okay, maybe not physically, but in other ways. You’re gonna sit here and you’re gonna tell me that she’s lying, or she’s wrong, or what? What that bastard Deke did to you and your ma had a direct effect on your relationships with women. Okay? You need to admit that, and you need to get help.

Sonny: What Kiefer did to Kristina, I have not done to any woman. It’s not a fair comparison.

Olivia: I agree. I agree. And I know how much it must hurt you to know that your daughter thinks she saw the real you that night that you went off on Claudia. Okay. Or that she would ever compare you to anybody like Kiefer. But, Sonny, Kristina is confused right now. And that’s why you gotta get in there with her right now. You gotta show her that you’re willing to change, and that you can change. You gotta find a way to separate who you really are from all those ugly patterns that you grew up with.

Johnny to Kristina (just as you’re sitting there thinking ‘What kind of low life uses a girl who’s been traumatized by an abusive boyfriend?”… Johnny says THIS):

Kristina: Dad was so horrible brutal to Claudia, he shouldn’t you use me to do the same thing to him? It’s part of justice.

Johnny: Kristina, first of all, the idea of using you in any capacity for anything has no

Kristina: But I’m a willing participant. More than that, it was my idea. Come on, Johnny. The way to make it happen.

Johnny: And er of sonny Corinthos. This playing out, beyond sonny’s pain, of course?

Kristina: Does it matter?

Johnny: It does if I’m dead in the end, yeah.

Kristina: You won’t let my dad kill you, and if he tries, he’ll go to prison like he deserves.

Johnny: Ok. Kristina, I actually know where you’re coming from. I do. I know what it’s like to have a monster as a father. You lay in b late at night thinking of ways to bring the bastard to his knees while you stare at the ceiling. When what you should be doing in actuality is channeling that energy into something positive. I know I’m no shining example as to how that works, believe me, but maybe you can look at me and then use me as an example as to what you should avoid. At the end of the day, Kristina, the answer’s no. As much as I want to bring grief to your father, I’m not about to use you in order to get that.

Johnny: It’s because you’ve been through a very traumatic experience and you need time to heal. See, that–right there is even more of a reason for you not to put yourself in a situation that could backfire or hurt you.

Kristina: But I feel safe with you.

Johnny: Why?

Kristina: I don’t know. I just do. It’s not sexual, please don’t misunderstand.

Johnny: Oh, believe me, there’s no misunderstanding here. Uh, hey…I suppose maybe at the end of the day, we’re kindred spirits. We both have the same immediate goal. But your hatred for sonny is not as black and white as mine. It’s wrapped up in all sorts of shades of gray and emotions of sonny being your father. Your issues with sonny go much deeper than just wanting to see him twist. This is like a bomb waiting to go off, in my face and yours, and I’m not willing to risk that.

Kristina: I figured it out. You’re noble. My father wouldn’t be. If someone went to him with an offer that could destroy you, he’d take it and not think twice. So never say you’re just like sonny. It’s not true. Well, if you change your mind, the offer’s still open.

As much as I hate the plot, the dialogue helped sell it and make sense of it… the children of mob monsters clinging to reclaiming their power by taking away (at least one of) their father’s power.  It’s stupid and careless on their part, but it makes sense.

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Soapnet/The Holidays/The Death of Daytime

You’ve read a million death of daytime articles already, I’m sure.  They’re painful both because of the sheer number of them and the truth they’ve imparted about why daytime has continued to fall apart.  Most of them weren’t written by the venerable soap press.  The soap press continued to cheer on the inane and asinine storyline telling as ‘innovative’ and ‘original’.   No holding a mirror to the naked emperor for the soap press, no sirree.  Now that it’s been revealed that Soapnet goes off the air in 2012, fans, it seems, have given up hope that the rest of daytime  can be saved, and with good reason, but more on that later.

The one network that was supposed to be fully dedicated to soaps gave up on the genre long ago as it cut back the daytime schedule and boasted about its acquisition of primetime shows.  Now?  Soaps will be replaced with more preschool friendly  programming.   Symbolic, don’t you think?  The juvenile writing plaguing daytime over the last several years has worked wonders in driving away much of the adult audience but did little to attract the ever elusive 12 to 17 year olds TIIC of daytime couldn’t wait to bring on board – the same 12 to 17 year olds who didn’t give a damn about daytime.  Now Disney can give the kids what they really want.

Unfortunately for daytime viewers, the network’s effort to stem to tide of revenue loss may have actually contributed to hastening the death of daytime.   When the writing was bad on your favorite soap, you still had other choices.  You could move on to something else – but that was before the network hacks decided that it was easier to systematically kill off daytime serials than support them and take them back to basics.   When my once favorite  Bold and Beautiful drove me absolutely nuts (as it does now with the whining non-“Forrester” women CONSTANTLY attacking the Logan women), I could always find another soap to watch that didn’t drive me batty.  Now? The writing is so horrendous across the board and there are so few soaps, there is no where to go but cable and watching ‘primetime in the daytime’.  (Which is oddly enough what Soapnet was trying to do, unsuccessfully).  By killing off  ‘lineups’, TPTB of daytime gave fans fewer and fewer reasons to tune in.   Ah, but there were/are other problems:

1 – The soaperatti (on and off screen) is incestuous and keeps claiming that it’s such a ‘specialty’ field that no one outside of daytime can understand it — that’s because they’re so “speshul”, doncha know?  And have I mentioned t they’re special?  Somehow primetime and cable are surviving with infusing new blood and new ideas.  Daytime only, it seems, needs specialists  (because they’re special) and yet those specialists  (who are special) still can’t figure out how to hang on to an audience.   As a result, the same few burned out writers and executive producers are shifted from show to show. You can’t get away from them, as they keep trying to shove the same tired ideas at what they think is a ‘new’ audience every time they ‘quantum leap’ from show to show.

Daytimers typically watch multiple shows, so if you didn’t like a mother and daughter sleeping with the same man and beating each other up on one show, you sure as hell weren’t  going to root for the hack writer and producers to bring that storyline to another show you’re watching. When there were more soaps (and more writers) there were also more ideas. and more places to escape to within the genre.  That’s gone and the soaperatti have nothing left but false self-praise and  careers on a downward slide. Does anyone know if any of the currently unemployed daytime writers have found work on any successful projects?  I’d love to know, dear readers.  I can’t think of any, and  I can’t imagine there are producers out there lining up to grab any of the ‘elite’ in daytime.  That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I just don’t know where they are.  Who’d want to submit an e-portfolio of the worst of daytime as evidence of what you’re capable of offering?

2 – While probably not a popular opinion, I also think a huge problem in daytime is that TIIC are have extended the ideology of the “super special” to hiring actors. The ‘newer’  daytime actors have been  treated as ‘speshul’ too. Instead of relying on tried and true and highly skilled vets, daytime PTB decided that a small group of select newbies were the future of genre. I won’t name names, but I think we can all list at least a half dozen actors who are shifted from show to show along with tired/burned out writers and executive producers.

The problem is that the pretty but pointless actors aren’t skilled enough to add new dimensions to their characters from show to show.  The actors’  mannerisms and inflections are the same.  On top of the same tired storylines, fans were cursed with the same actors, sporting new character names, but providing nothing that differentiated them.  The ‘look’ of each show may differ, but the ‘content’ and ‘feel’ of all soaps is similar. thanks to the small cohort of shifting writers, producers, and actors.  ABC and CBS could blend what’s left of their lineups and I don’t know that fans would notice the difference.  ABC could offer “All My Children born at General Hospital embracing our One Life To Live” and CBS could offer the “Bold and Beautifully Young and Restless”.  NBC, would of course, give us the “Days of Our Lives”.  It’s all they have left to give having killed off so many daytime shows, already.

The warning signs of impending doom have been sounded for years by fans who’ve wanted nothing more than to save the genre.  Unfortunately, it fell on hubristic and intentionally tone deaf ears.  How tone deaf have TIIC been?   Memorial Day would have been a keen opportunity for TIIC to remind soap fans that daytime is still around and  that there’s potential to return to the formula that made the genre work.  What did TPTB of GH offer?

Link that with THIS gem that oringally aired a week after the above clip:

On a day when we honor our war dead, and others who have valiantly served and protected this country, we were ‘treated’ to a repeat of an episode in which the soap world is proven to be turned upside down.  Jason and Spinelli bleat on and on about how heartless cold and unfeeling OFFICER Dante  Falconeri is to turn in his brother for killing a woman.  Dante, of course, has no honor.  Dante is an evil person.  He’s too dense to understand why the mob covered up a woman’s death.  It’s Dante’s fault for not understanding why what would have been a simple self-defense charge, which would have been cleared had  Michael first told the truth, ended up with Michael looking guilty of murder, a cover up, and obstruction.

WHAT?  You would be suspicious of a claim of self-defense if the people involved ‘disposed of’ the body, burned down the cabin where it happened – on a rainy night, no less – to get rid of evidence, and then lied on the stand and to the police for months at a time?  I hear ya’!  It’s just that TIIC don’t hear you.  On a day when many of us are remembering our loved one who gave their lives – GH’s braintrust wants you to watch the mob squad talk about murdering police officers and activating the crooked cops on their payroll to protect the mob heir apparent.  Spinelli has to tell Jason that Dante’s death, officer or not, would have grave impact (no pun intended) on those who love him, and those who serve with him.  Color me stunned, and sickened, and tired, just tired of this dreck.

What could TIIC aired instead, to woo fans back?

Or even this:

But no… black is white, up is down…and we’re tuning out.  Anyone know what’s planned for Disney Junior? My nieces and nephews visit me in the summer. I guess we’ll have something to watch together in 2012.

National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.  Watching soaps today, alone,  would make you question, 1 –  whether writers were aware of the  significance of this month, 2 – if they would care if they were aware of it.  According to RAINN, every 2 minutes someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.   Click the RAINN symbol to learn more about SAAP month, and to find events taking place in your local area. Today, on almost every soap left on air, a woman was nearly sexually assaulted, emotionally assaulted, or physically assaulted – almost none for the sake of furthering a discussion about sexual and other violent assaults.  Almost all for the sake of ‘entertainment’.  Check the ratings, writers, we – your primarily female audience, are not amused or entertained by such storylines.

1.  Days of Our lives. I’ve thought of EJ as a coward for quite a long time.  Today’s episode just made things a heck of a lot worse.  If your father is a murderous psychopath and you’re quickly following in his footsteps, then it makes sense that you don’t care to protect your partner in crime from your father’s tyrannical wrath.   It makes you appear to be less human, as well.   Too busy trying to cover his own arse, EJ has made no moves to stop others from thinking of Anna as a vile kidnapper who tormented a  young infant girl for months after she’d already lost the only mother she’d ever known.    If you were watching today’s episode, you witnessed Stefano Dimera, EJ’s father, physically assault his former daughter-in-law, his deceased son’s wife.  Tony might have killed Stefano for slapping his wife.

The excuse is supposed to be, I’m sure, that Stefano had no idea that Anna wasn’t alone in kidnapping his granddaughter when he slapped her.   My response?  WHO CARES!?!?!  She as alone, half dressed and defenseless against him and the goons he brought with him.  That scene was heartbreaking from beginning to end.   It was in fact EJ, the child’s father, who concocted the scheme and convinced Anna to become his partner in crime.  It was his son EJ, who got the ‘bright’ idea to cover the child’s clothing in blood and make everyone think the infant had been murdered.  Will Stefano slap him across the face?  Will he have his son dragged off with threats of death?  Is that behavior reserved only for women ‘who have it coming’?

While EJ sat home, basking in the glow of being complimented for being a ‘great dad’, Anna was being slapped around, manhandled by Stefano’s goons, and had to plead for her life, as Stefano promised her that she would not be alive  much longer.  DAYS has done a lot of things right, but  this was dead wrong and made it clear how parasitic the Dimera men’s relationships with women are.  EJ professes love, two children later, to the woman he raped at gunpoint, and while he sat with her  trying to convince her he was a new man, Anna faced violence and certain death.

2.  The Bold and the Beautiful. I watched the last 10 minutes of the show, today – apparently ten minutes too many!  It was a continuation of Donna Logan Forrester being treated as if she was disposable by her husband, Eric Forrester.  This follows an earlier discussion in which he screamed at her in front of his ex wife and his former sister-in-law (both of whom have attacked Donna physically and verbally).  Earlier he’d faulted Donna for never being on his side – a full-throated lie.  He’s clearly ‘finished’ with Donna and finds excuses to scream and yell at her, including faulting Donna  for her brother-in-law’s partnership with his WILLING ex-wife, who helped weaken his company before Bill Spencer bought it out from from under him.  Eric accepts no responsibility for being a lousy businessperson.  He also gives Donna ZERO credit for being willing to deceive her own sister to help him get his company back.  He screams at her, demeans her, and then she returns home to beg for his forgiveness for not being tolerant enough of his needs.  If she was a friend of mine in a marriage like that, I would be advising her on thinking about how to get out of it, or at least  how to protect herself from a man like Eric Forrester.

3.  One Life to Live. Schuyler Joplin has been just about as perfect a man as one can be in daytime.  He’s thoughtful, loving, kind, and patient… which means that when he had to be torn down to prop the show’s resident snooze producing couple – the writers took the lowest possible  route to try to make him unlikable to fans.  His soap day started with him being  a loving father who only wanted the best for his child.  He finds out the child he’s been loving isn’t his and just a few hours later he’s holding Gigi Morasco hostage at gunpoint, trying to force her to undress so  they can have sex and he could prove to her that they still have a special relationship.  He doesn’t want to be alone.

Pretty.Damned.Pathetic.

Soaps use to write rape storylines to  sway fans’ sympathy in the direction of ‘bad girls who needed redeeming’.  Now they use rape as a way of trying to sway fans’ ire at male characters they want to get rid of — most of the time.  Sometimes they decide that the rapist isn’t all that bad and try to redeem him or try to get the audience to accept his attempt to get his victim to fall in love with him.  It’s that sort of  clumsy and careless storytelling that makes soap fans ashamed of the genre.

4.  General Hospital. Kristina, after ignoring Ethan’s pleas to not allow the entire town, most especially her murderous mob father, believe that he’d beaten her up- as he was innocent – was beaten again today by her boyfriend, Kiefer.  I’d watched DAYS’ Anna being slapped around, DAYS’ Sami talking about her lovelife with her rapist,  OLTL’s Gigi held at gunpoint and potentially raped, BnB’s Donna beg forgiveness for being treated poorly, and then Kristina.  I am emotionally drained and most especially because it’s clear that daytime writers still don’t get it.

As usual, the storyline hasn’t been about this poor teenage girl who is being harmed, it’s about the adults around her – her mother who took the time to run down her attacker with her car while on the way to the hospital to get help for Kristina, her angry mob boss father, Ethan -the wrongfully accused… but very little about the survivor.

I’m hoping we’ll see more of Kristina, in therapy to learn that it’s not her fault she’s been attacked, or that we’ll get to see her confront Kiefer and make him realize how badly he’s hurt her.  As I’ve written about before, it would be best to see HIM in therapy – helping him figure out why he’s so violent towards  women.

Soaps do a lot with the ‘assault’ part, nothing much with the  ‘prevention’.   Were women victims of assault and violence on the other two soaps?  Probably, I’m just glad I missed it – I’ve had more than my fill in just a single day.  It’s depressing.

General Hospital: It’s just a damned soap!

Get over it. or how about?

You know it’s not real, right? or

How can you take something that’s not real so seriously?

Those are the obnoxious comments non soap fans usually throw at soap fans when they show up on message boards to taunt us about our silly love for “dumb assed’ soaps… Then they run back to their favorite gamer/fan boi/fan gurl boards and battle over their fave fictional characters.  It’s also a charge some soap fans use on other soapers to prove that THEY are the ones who watch for enjoyment, while other soap fans are just cracked.

Well, I could have used one of those pseudo-superior pains in the ass yesterday.  I would have been too busy arguing with one of them to watch GH.  And then I wouldn’t have had to question my sanity.  Am I taking this all too seriously?  Is there anything enjoyable about GH’s  ‘Suckpranos’  any more?  If Claudia’s death scenes were supposed to create an atmosphere of  edge-of-your-seat drama?  They were an epic FAIL!  If they were supposed to make me despise Sonny, Carly, Jason, Sam and the rebirth of Michael “MyKill” Corinthos?  They were an epic SUCCESS!

I feel dirty having watched those scenes

I felt dirty watching Carly cuddle with sweet little Josslyn, while MyKill was staring at his hands, stained with Claudia’s blood.  The look he gave her while she did it chilled me.  Did he feel abandoned?  Was  he angry with her?  Did he feel he’d sold his soul for her and ‘Jax’s baby’?

I felt dirty watching everyone treat Jax as if he really was sacrificing Michael to protect his child.  Jax is ALONE.  Even Carly puts his child’s health at risk for the sake of her other children.  Jax isn’t sacrificing Michael, he’s protecting his child – Michael has a city full of mobsters and two highly enmeshed parents to protect him.

I felt dirty watching Jason and Sam talk about covering up Claudia’s death when Michael was clearly  trying to protect his mother against a violent woman and should not have to stand trail for that.  I would rather the writers had taken that route and let Michael deal with his own guilt at having taken a life.

I felt DIRTIEST watching psychotic Sonny tell Michael he ‘did a good thing’ (or words to that effect) by taking Claudia out.  I can’t say that it’s the exact quote, but close enough.  I’m a still a little woozy from scrubbing my brain every time I think of that scene.   A GOOD thing?  So Sonny is now the Martha Stewart of the mob set?  No, it wasn’t a GOOD THING, it’s what Michael felt he had to do to protect his mother from her abductor, and his sister from growing up a captive.  Nothing about it made it a ‘good thing’, since it was Sonny who brought Claudia into his children’s lives.

I felt dirty watching Sonny tell Jason to bury Claudia as close to hell as he could – considering the fact that everyone keeps talking about what a great man and great father he is ( most especially from the mouth of NuLois/Olivia Falconeri, who didn’t bother to let him help her raise her son.  It’s on coincidence that Dante/Dominic is the only one of Sonny’s adult/near-adult children who isn’t a wreck of a person).  His statement was also mind-blowing given the fact that Sonny spoke those words as if he and Jason wouldn’t soon see Claudia in hell.  Wait, I forgot, they’re the good mobsters.

I felt dirty, and angry, watching Max and Milo argue with Jason about whether it was smart to burn the cabin once they disposed of the body.  Milo and Max use to be the comic relief of the show and fans could imagine that they never really got their hands dirty.  Now we know they do, we’re seeing it, and they’re strategizing about which is the best way to dispose of a human being.

I felt dirty watching Carly hold that sweet child, and smile at Jax, as if nothing had happened, as if his newborn child wasn’t just involved in yet another of Sonny’s fiasco-filled escapades.  While I once loved Jax and Carly, I now know that I wouldn’t mind if he took custody of that child and kept Carly away.

I felt dirty remembering rooting against AJ, hoping he NEVER got his hands on Carly and Jason’s (and then Sonny’s) kid.  I remember the sweet cherub Michael had once been, and felt sick believing that the writers felt that there was no choice but to make Michael as screwed up as the people around him, the people who defended all of his actions and wanted others to apologize to the dark Prince Michael.  What was worse is that they’re right!  How many kids like Michael can escape the dark future ahead of them with parents who pave the way and keep the roads clear of stumbling blocks (you know, like morals, decency, integrity, a sense of right and wrong)?

If I’m spinning this into a positive, the writers have also proven that Alexis is right, FINALLY (even if unintentionally).   Kristina and Michael are siblings, but they’re very different people.  Kristina has a chance, if she stays away from her father.  She has a mother who doesn’t believe that sunshine shoots out of Sonny’s private parts.  Her mother doesn’t think the mob life is glamorous, despite the stupidity of having slept with Sonny in the past.  She wants better for her daughter.  I hope the writers allow her to remain consistent in giving her daughter a fighting chance.

If soaps are around in a decade (maybe less), I could imagine Kristina as Port Chuckle’s new D.A.  Having lived with her mother, and stepfather Mac Scorpio,  she’ll have a different view of crime.  She’ll love her brother Michael, but she’ll end up putting him in prison with their father, Sonny and Uncle Jason – as her brother Dominic did years earlier.

Having read that last paragraph, I’ll bet you’re questioning my sanity too, right?  Well, at least I now have company!  I know, I know… it’s just a soap.