Jon and Kate: ‘There Will Be Blood’!

As I mentioned before, some of the best ‘soap’ moments are found outside the daytime soap genre.  Sadly, when they’re found in real life settings, they’re just not entertaining.  I thought Jon and Kate Plus 8 was over!  Done!  Finito!   I just found out this morning that the show is definitely coming back.  What is the point of that?  I have serious concerns about what will happen with those children.  Not only have their entire lives been played out on screen, , but now they won’t even be allowed to adjust to their parents divorce in privacy?  They won’t be able to grieve and cry without millions watching them?  Their pain is played out as part of some intrusive voyeuristic fantasy?   We’ll get to see them spend some weekends with daddy (but hopefully not with his gal pals – seriously, Jon?  A reported party girl and an ex-tabloid reporter?  Nice.)  

What’s next for the Gosselin offspring?  Will we get to watch them in counseling sessions?  Will a sympathetic camera operator be filmed ‘spontaneously’ <wink> putting the camera down to console a crying child? 

What would make TLC’s entertainment volcano gods happy?  A human sacrifice?  Eight human sacrifices?   One of the children picks up a bottle of booze?  FAN-FREAKIN’-TASTIC!  Then JK8 can be cross promoted with A&E’s Intervention as “the family’ sits around and one by one confronts the booze swilling child (and don’t forget to cross promote with the liquor company, TLC – show the bottle’s label, baby!).    That’s Klass!

OH!  I know, what if one of the one of the twins, starts failing at school and picking fights?  (Twice the fun if one fails school and the other picks fights!)  I’ll bet that if one of those kids walked through the door with a shiner, clutching a tabloid cover of daddy and one of daddy’s new ‘friends’ , it would cause a joyous meltdown somewhere in the executive suites.  Imagine the camera, panning on the black eye with a tear slowly running down the face.  It’s  not necessary to show the entire face or the kid, we don’t care which one it is, do we?  From the eye, the camera slowly pans down to the tabloid cover and freezes – said tabloid is, of course, given the opportunity to contribute to the cost of producing the episode, or run the risk of having its page  blurred during the episode and only alluded to.  Sheer ART!

“There Will Be Blood” is a great movie title, but sadly it’s starting to feel as though the title would be better applied to this show.   Of course there are other alternate titles for this show:

“Did Kate in Time Raise Nine?”  (Given Jon Gosselin’s reported behavior post his break up.  I completely understand Kate’s pre-break up behavior, now.  Can you imagine if she started dating someone from the medical team who worked on Jon’s hair plugs, or dated another man named Jon?).

“Help, I’m a Minor, Get Me Outta’ Here!” (Or do we only worry about rescuing B, nay, C list celebs?)

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T” (for the right of children to grow up without cameras in their faces day and night, respect for them as people.  Going out on a limb here, but for as much as I’ve seen the show, I’ve got no love for Kate Gosselin but even she deserves more respect that she’s been afforded by her babies’ daddy in my book.  Geez, dude!)

“Why the HELL is anyone still watching?”  Watching the coverage of the return of JK8 (on the morning NEWS, no less) leaves me wondering.  Does anyone care about the welfare of children, any more?  Have we taken our notions about the resiliency of children too far?  Have we begun to expect them to ‘bounce back’ from anything we throw at them?  Are children whose parents appear to be screwed up less deserving of protection from voyeuristic adults than other children?  The children’s aunt and uncle  (Jodi and Kevin Kreider) are fighting to find a way to protect them from the commodification that has become their ‘lives’.  I wish them well. 

Whatever happens during the return of this show, I won’t be there to see it.  Now.. if only the morning news would follow suit.