How Craig Montgomery almost won me over

Regression toward the mean? I don’t think so. ATWT’s Parker just keeps sinking lower. There’s no point at which this kid hits higher ground, nor has he hit the bottom it seems. His mother has struggled for his sake. She’s given up a hell of a lot for his sake. She’s eaten more crap that kid has shoveled out than any SANE person would. And it’s still never enough. He just keeps doling out more. No matter what vile thing anyone else as has done, Parker takes such delight in making his mother feel like garbage. Carly was so excited when she thought Parker wanted to speak to her and let her be a part of solving his latest fiasco. The look on her face, the sadness, when she realized that he only wanted Craig’s attention. Geez, it left me feeling kicked in the gut along with Carly.

So imagine my surprise when Craig refused to indulge Parker’s adolescent tendencies to berate his mother and then refused to talk to him if she wasn’t included in the conversation.. I actually cheered the guy on! That’s a new feeling for me. While I once loved Craig, warts and all, his warts have only grown bigger and are now covered with hair (disgusting, I know). Craig hasn’t been a character I’ve cared much about for quite some time, until now. I’m starting to see what makes C&C work as a couple. What Craig and Carly have in common is the slow destruction of their characters, done to allow other characters their moments in the limelight. Carly has become the Oakdale sinner to Janet’s saint, harlot to Janet the reclaimed virgin. Craig has become the fun-bad-guy turned deeply disturbed and murderous, no matter who his rival is.

I’ve been hard on ATWT’s writers for having transformed Carly from a classic and beloved bad girl, into a romantic heroine, and again into a punching bag for the pathetic men in her family and the objects of their obsessions: mother-daughter pair Janet and Liberty Ciccone. As much of an ass that Parker has been, he’s only repeating the crude comments uttered by his father: that Carly is jealous and hellbent on destroying HIS (Jack’s) happiness, she’s selfish for not readily agreeing to let him take out a second mortgage on the ONLY home she owns – so that he can build a home for Janet. Is there any wonder that Parker views calling his mother pathological perfectly acceptable?

Had it been Jack standing there with Carly? He would have either said to Carly 1- that she needed to let HIM handle it (being Parker’s only decent parent and all that jazz), or 2 – to not blow things out of porportion! He would have asked her what she expected given her own behavior! Jack would have excused Parker by blaming Carly. Jack has hardly been Carly’s partner in reigning Parker in under control since her return. Jack was content to allow him to say and do anything, as long as he relied on his 15 year old son to tell him what a prince among men he was, how much he should be proud of himself from moving on from Carly, and how worthless, petty, and jealous Carly was. Now that Parker has become unbearable, the writers should have Jack reflect on his behavior and how much he contributed to Parker’s obnoxious and over-the-top attitude.

As for Craig? I am still not completely sold on him as a partner for Carly, after all the man IS responsible for the injuries that caused her sister to lapse into a comma. That said, I’m a darned sight closer to accepting Carly and Craig as a couple than I ever have been before. Ultimately, I would love it if Carly was permitted to deal with Parker on her own, and only rely on Craig as emotional support, not as her ‘savior’ or the individual she ‘needs’ help from in turning her son around. Imagine that? A woman in control of her own destiny and in control of her own children!

It’s weird how daytime now makes viewers wish for the things most of us experience in our every day lives.

So much for ‘fantasy’ and ‘escapism’.

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If you know the secret, clue me in…

As The World Turns

Why does Paul hate Dusty so much?  I know the writers want conflict between ATWT’s titan younger male leads,  but it doesn’t make sense – especially in light of Dusty’s relationship with the deceased Jennifer Munson.   Dusty has loved Jen and maintained the integrity of her memory FAR more than her own brother has.  For Paul to hire a someone to cause Dusty to question whether she’s Jennifer, or some reincarnated form, was just classic soap evil!  Tasty little plot, isn’t it?  Even still, Dusty fought Craig Montgomery to protect Jennifer and to protect her son from falling into Craig’s hands.  So what is the foundation of Paul’s extreme hack-him-to-death hatred for Dusty?

I’m curious about whether anyone on the ATWT writing or production staff has every watched Roger Howath’s work on One Life To Live.  Todd was one of the most vile and despicable characters in the history of daytime (read my blog below about why I think the OLTL writers owe the fans an apology for the Todd/Marty storyline.  Many of the clips of the early Marty/Todd interactions were filmed while Howarth was still in the role).  Todd was malicious, and frightening to be quite honest.  His continued tormenting of Marty Saybrooke even after he raped her gave viewers the impression that given the chance, he’d assault her again.

What does that have to do with Howarth’s work as Paul?  If the writers then followed the storyline, and watched as Howarth transformed Todd from a hateful bastard to a repentant and self-loathing soul, they would have been amazed.  They would better understand the range of Howarth’s ability (and it is an amazing range).  The WTs writers would pen storylines that allow Howarth to best use the extensive arsenal of skills he brings with him to the role of Paul Ryan.  I’ve never warmed up to Mr. Howarth in this role and it has nothing to do with the actor.  it has everything to do with the writing.

Paul, as he’s currently written, has very few redeeming qualities.  He’s insecure, whiny, and perpetually angry.  That’s the short list.  There is little room for the character to be remorseful because he spends so much of his time moving from one failed idiotic plot to the next.  The writers have given viewers, in my opinion, very little reason to root for NuPaul, or the Paul/Meg relationship.  “Peg” yet to establish themselves as a couple, outside of the fact that they are two people whose lives are constantly marred by tragedy, much of it self-inflicted.  Trauma and drama are daytime staples, but almost all successful couples have been granted some period of time to experience a little happiness.  I want to see Howarth make this role his own and bring to it the uniqueness it deserves.  He has talent to spare, and given the right material he could create a character, and become part of a couple, with few equals in daytime.  Here’s hoping!

Just as an aside

BTW, doesn’t this picture just scream, “Even I’m not buying into the ‘sainted Janet’ role I’m now playing”.  Janet was more believable as a  woman who worked to break up the marriage of a man she hadn’t seen since she was a teenager.

Don’t worry ‘Janet’, you’re not alone.  I’m not buying it either.  I’m over the ‘CarJack’ phenomenon and would love to see Carly happy with a confident and loving man.  I say that to say this, I don’t dislike Janet because of her relationship with Jack – she’s not keeping Jack from Carly in my book.  Jack clinging to stupidity has always done that.

What I want so see is a Janet with a little more grit.  She doesn’t have to be the sleaze she was when she hit town, but the writers have to do better than propping her up as the cardboard charcter she’s become. If the only way to sell Janet and Jack is to make Carly look like the bad seed keeping them from their happiness, Janet is nothing more than a plot device and hardly a useful character worth watching.  To continue to promote her in front burner storylines when her only purpose is to try to make Carly look worse is a waste of viewer’s time.  Give her her edge back.  Let her take on someone other than Carly, and figure out who and what she is – other than Jack’s ego defense shield.  Pinson has the goods and can turn in a hell of a performance given the chance, much like her costar, Howarth.  The writers just have to give her the chance!

Soul Mates…BnB/ATWT/AMC/YnR

Bold and Beautiful

From the current SOW:

Weekly: So is this Brooke and Ridge’s big reunion, forever and ever?

Bell: It appears as if this is the great reunion. There are always people who may want to get in their way. Stephanie is certainly one. Nick Marone may factor into it. But we’re getting incredibly close. We’re at a point where we just can’t imagine they’ve reached this level. They’ve been through so much. How can this not be forever?

Weekly: In your mind, are they each other’s soul mates?

Bell: So much of this series is about Brooke and Ridge, from early on until now. It’s amazing that we still have Ron and Kelly, that they look so beautiful, that their chemistry has not waned at all. This is an incredible climax to this whole saga.

Well now… from EARLY ON it’s been about Brooke and Ridge?  From EARLY ON!?!?!?  Ah… BINGO!  Anyone who’s watched this show from the day it aired has known that.  It was ‘the look’ that launched Bridge, and ‘the look’ between these characters that has kept so many fans hooked on this show.

The war on love between Brooke and Ridge has left behind a string of casualties, on and off the screen.  On screen we have Eric, Thorne, Grant, Taylor, Ashley, James, and a host of others who came close, but never really close enough to keeping Brooke and Ridge apart.  Off screen?  The fans – those who are still watching, those who gave up on the writers long ago, who are victims of the BRidge tease.   I still have my frustrations with the couple, namely Brooke – she drives me nuts and annoys the unholy hell out of me most of the time, and yet there’s a part of me that can’t get past what Brooke and Ridge are when they’re TOGETHER.

They have been the couple to ‘keep apart’ for over 21 years soap time.  Taylor has manipulated and elbowed her way between them, Stephanie practically sits outside their bedroom door waiting for the chance to run in and steal Ridge away, Nick just sits by – waiting for a moment of vulnerability in order to slime his way in, Eric is always desperate and hopeful and inappropriate in his feelings for Brooke… the list goes on.  In the end, they’ve only ever stood on the outside looking in and the writers have made it clear, far too many times, that the story was about BRidge love and the lengths all others would go to in order to keep them apart.

The big question is, are there enough fans still watching to trust that BRidge really can and will be happy this time?  It’s hard to trust the BnB writers.  Case in point?  The 20th anniversary show.  I’d recount what happened for those of you who missed it, but I don’t want to be responsible for making adults cry (a nod ando condolences to those of you who  did watch it).

ALL My Children

There’s a great deal of maturity in the AMC writing for Reese and Bianca.  I can remember Erica’s one time utter revulsion at the thought that her little Binks was a lesbian.  She was so sickened at the thought that another woman would touch her daughter that it pushed her to the brink of madness.  Now?  Reese, the love of Bianca’s life, is going to get the ‘Kane treatment’.  Oh yes, Reese, someone should have warned you about Erica’s rocky relationships with her childrens’ spouses.
The minute I heard Erica say that Bianca needed help and that she felt Reese was taking advantage of Bianca’s good nature, I knew there was trouble brewing.    At some point, there will be scenes of Zach and Reese sharing a beer, wondering what awful thing they did in their past lives that brought them to the point of finding love and ending up with Erica as a mother-in-law.  Maybe they’ll flip a coin to figure out which of them will get to be the hero(ine), taping Erica’s mouth shut and shoving her in a dark, locked room.

Oh! I do feel a little guilty for saying that.  Erica scored huge mommy points for bringing not one but TWO nannies to help take care of the kiddos.  Freakin’ awesome.  What mother DOESN’T dream about an on-call staff of nannies?

About the show’s other soul mates, I’m still hanging on for the Jesse/Angie arc.  I wish the writers would hurry up and end the Greenlee/Aidan/Annie/Ryan storyline to make more time for Jessie and Angie.  My only remorse about the end of the quad storyline is that there weren’t MORE shirtless Aidan scene.  Oh what a happy girl I would have been had that happened.

As The World Turns

Jack and Janet as soul mates?  Eh!  If by ‘soul mates’ that means that they’re both so vapid and empty that it takes the TWO of them to create something resembling one complete ‘soul’?  Oh, sure.

How about Dusty and nu-sorta-Jen-but-let’s-call-her-Josie-for-now?  Nah, not yet!  Give them time and they will be, I’m sure.

Luke and Noah?  BINGO!  I think that the student election storyline is probably one of the most insipid, yawn inducing storyline the writers could have imagined for these two.  The aftermath?  BRILLIANT.  Noah turns Luke in?  They fight over Noah’s cut-and-run behavior?  They make up and Luke realizes that he needs Noah and tells him so?  Begs him not to leave?  Is their relationships stagnant?  SURE.  It is, I don’t think anyone would deny that Luke and Noah are the show’s longest running “relationship virgins” – kissing cousins Parker and Liberty had sex faster than these two.

So what’s so brilliant about Nuke (Noah and Luke)?   Their scenes are so sweet and tender that they can sometimes make you forget that the couple hasn’t been intimate.  The actors deserve recognition for creating an intimacy that doesn’t require sexual contact between characters to be real.  The strength of the Nuke relationship, and the audience’s overwhelmingly positive reaction to the couple, rests squarely on the shoulders of the remarkable Van Hansis (Luke) and Jake Sillbermann (Noah).  It sure as hell ain’t the writing that keeps fans tuning in.  Van and Jake are able to transform writing best left to an elementary school play and turn it into broadway worthy material.  The writers owe these kids, BIG!  Now… give them more screen time, thank you very much.

The Young and the Restless

Victor and Ashley?  Folks, I’m a Vic-Ashley fan from Waaaaay back.  I hated Nikki for teaching Victoria to call Ashley the ‘wicked witch of the west’.  I despised her even more when she deceived Ashley, making Ash believe that she was dying, leading Ash to abort Victor’s child.  Ashley thought she was giving Nikki the will to live, or at least the opportunity to die in peace, with her family.  Am I happy to see Victor and Ash back together?  YES!  All is right in my YnR world.

Do I think it will last?  No.  Even I know that Victor and Nikki are the show’s star-crossed lovers no matter who else they love or how many children Victor keeps having with other women.  I know it will end, but I will enjoy Victor and Ashley for as long as they are around.

I don’t want to see Ash or Victor stick it to Nikki – it would mean their relationship isn’t real, it’s more about making HER miserable  than the two of them being together, and that would be far too sad for me.  Oh sure, Ashley deserves to have a little fun… but not too much.  I also don’t want to see Victor treat Ash the way he’s treated Nikki – he can be a cruel S.O.B.  I just want a little romance from SOMEONE on this show – a romance worth watching, that is.

I wonder how the mini-mustaches are going to take it when Victor returns with Ashley?  Nick won’t have the room to be too critical of Victor.  Adam would have no room to talk, at all.  Victoria?  After her speech of always feeling loved by her mother, but no so much by her father, I have a feeling that Ashley had better hang on to Victor with both hands.  If she’s written true to form, I have no doubt that Victoria will try to pry Ashley and her father apart.  Let the games begin!

She’s baaaaaack! ATWT-OLTL-BnB- YnR

Where to start, where to start!  OH!  I know!  I have news, folks!  You may miss the old boards from the now defunct, but much beloved, Total TV Online!  There is still a companion site (message board)  for the “Sound and Fury” blog.  You can access that site by clicking HERE.

As The World Turns

Carly is BACK, the Carly that so many fans have grown to love.  Carly is a cross between one of daytime’s greatest romantic heroines, and a walking disaster.  Today, we got to see a little of both, more of the former than the latter.  I believe that Carly has been sincere in her odd couple friendship with Janet.  There’s no malice between the two women and Carly wants to see Jack happy with Janet, for his sake, and that of their children.

The trouble is that despite her best efforts to do the ‘right’ thing, she finds herself in trouble every time.  I groaned a bit when she found herself getting hot and heavy with Jack.  Other than the family they share together (and yes, I’m including Parker and JJ as ‘theirs’), nothing good has come of Jack and Carly being together.  Each of those brief periods of time when they shared love and happiness were quickly replaced with some wild attack on Carly’s character, by Jack.  A little crying, a lot of clinging, and too much verbal abuse.

Even still, watching Jack and Carly fall back into bed wasn’t as shocking as I thought it would be.  They’re much too addicted to the self-inflicted pain not to keep going back for more.  It’s Carly’s guilt that was shocking.  That she pushed Jack to be upfront and let Janet know he was in the bedroom before he could stay her was brilliant.  That’s the girl, Carly.  Don’t let Jack pull his standard hit-and-run routine.  I’ll give the guy credit, he did score points by admitting that he’s been a judgmental jerk all these years, but he lost those points FAST by trying to sleep with Carly knowing he still had feelings for Janet.

To see him working on Carly, playing on the emotion she still had for him, and to then have him run back to Janet?  What a putz! Carly is much better off without the guy.  Jack thinks of himself, first.  He always has. If only the writers would hire an actor to play a credible love interest against MW’s Carly.   Brian, perhaps? I’m just not yet ‘digging’ this guy with Lucinda.  I think I’d rather seen John Dixon back, and paired with ‘Lucy Walsh’.  I miss John and Lucinda and their passion.  I have na ulterior motive for suggesting a Carly-Brian pairing.

Maybe Carly can distract Brian so that he STOPS telling Luke to avoid being ‘political’.  I find it hard to believe that Luke standing up for himself and supporting the Gay Film Festival would have a negative impact on his foundation.  (Uh, when did Oakadle U become ultra conservative?)  Brian needs a life… FAST!  Rather than telling Brian that she and Luke need him, it’s time for Lucy Walsh, cutthroat businesswoman that she is, to come back.  I miss her.  It’s time for the REAL Lucy Wlalsh to tell Brian to hit the bricks.   1 –  Lucinda has always had such a deep love for her grandson.  It’s hard for me to believe that she can’t see what’s going on with Brian, and what the potential impact is on Luke.  I just can’t see the writers as being true to her character if they continue to allow her to want Brian, in light of his treatment of Luke and Noah.  2 – Lawrence Lau is HOT, and I’d love to see his character out of such a creepy storyline where he’s trying to suppress Luke’s self-exploration.   Luke is finding his voice.  Brian is becoming increasingly less attractive trying to suppress it.

AND, since we’ve seen more of Kim this month than in the last several months (or so it seems), please make sure when you bring her back more frequently, writers, that you bring back the brilliant woman we’ve all loved for so long.  Kim was the victim of a mad stalker (Oh how I miss the days of the Douglas Cummings storyline). Hopefully she recognizes the signs soon, and works to help Katie with the Spencer incident.  Kim’s been there, done that.  I’d love to have her realize sooner, rather than later, that Katie has every right to be concerned.

Young and the Restless

Sharon, Sharon, Sharon, my friend.  You can’t make a good husband out of a man-whore.  Remember those words of advice.  I only regret that I forgot to include Nick Newman on my man-whore list, when I included his father.  (Read that HERE)  Nick hasn’t met a woman, throwing herself at him, that he doesn’t like.  Having said that?  I can’t help loving Nick and Sharon, despite the fact that he’s an unfaithful pig.  Nick and Sharon are their generation’s Nikki and Victor (er, without the pathology that has begun to pervade the Nikktor relationship).

Short of Nick’s cheating with slimey Grace Turner, and Phyllis (serving as Sharon’s ‘placeholder’), there was a genuine love and a sense of family that Nick and Sharon shared that neither has really had with their respective new spouses. For me, Phyllis will always be the woman who went to bed with a man while his wife was still grieving their dead daughter.  Nick and Phyllis’ relationship is at romantic as a zombie orgy (sorry, it’s close to Halloween and the commercials for haunted houses are getting to me).

What happens in Paris stays in Paris?  OH, let’s hope not.  Let’s hope that Nick does penance for being a complete idiot and cheating on Sharon, realizes what a horrible mistake he made, and goes home to his real family.   He needs to be with his true wife, Sharon.

Besides, the only time Phyllis was remotely interesting was when she was a freakin’ bad girl, and during her marriage to Jack.  Outside of that?  She hasn’t had much to offer.

One Life to Live

It’s been so good seeing Viki, so good in fact that I feel guilty having this small complaint:  Are fans to believe, that in a house the supposed size of Viki’s mansion, she wouldn’t notice that her basement had suddenly become MUCH smaller?  If there was enough space behind the sliding wall to build a ginormous room, complete with on suite bath, you’d think she’d notice SOMETHING was wrong.  EH! I don’t care, I’m just glad to have Viki back.  Now it’s time to reunite Viki and Clint… We’ve been so patient.

Viki must love the relationship between her sister, Tina, and “Jessica”/Tess getting along.  Oh, if only she knew! The most enjoyable part of One Life To Live (and dare I say the only watchable part of the show?) has been watching Tina and Jessica go at one another.  The only person tough enough, and devious enough, to handle Tess is Tina, and heaven help the show if/when Tina or Tess goes.

While Grand Dame Titans Tina and Tess are tearing each other apart, maybe the writers will let Viki serve up a little cold hard justice to brother, Todd.  You’d think that Todd would have learned his lesson from letting Blair think their son Jack was dead.  Now he’s planning to do the same to Starr, in order to take her child and raise it.  I get the saying that history repeats itself… I just don’t know why it’s always the LOUSY history that repeats itself in daytime.  Oh Viki, between Todd, Tina, and Tess, you have your work cut out for you.

Bold and Beautiful

Er, what? Taylor’s back to her lying, sneaky, and underhanded ways?  WELL!  No shock THERE folks!  I seem to remember THIS Taylor, the one scheming and plotting to get what she wants, and putting a ‘concerned’ face on it.  Let’s see, she advised Brooke to stay with Eric, for the children’s sake, even though Brooke was unhappily married to the man.  Then she (Taylor) pursued Ridge, the man Brooke loved – knowing Ridge loved Brooke and was waiting for her to leave Eric.
Taylor advised Eric to tell Stephanie their marriage was over and there was NO chance of him returning to her.. after she listened  to her ‘best friend’ cry about Eric not loving her… and then Taylor moved on Eric, herself.  Now she’s telling Ridge that the fates were probably keeping him and Brooke apart because they probably weren’t meant to be together.  Taylor, would those be the same fates that caused Ridge to walk out on YOU and not look back?  Funny how those fates only work against others, never against her.  Ah, hypocrisy.  The REAL Taylor is back… the “me first, me last, me always” Taylor.

Bad Day – Worse Day – Just Be Glad That…

Bad Day?  Your mother wants you to call her new boyfriend ‘uncle’ (Liberty Ciccone, As The World Turns).

Worse Day?  He really IS your uncle.

Just be glad that… he’s your father’s brother and not your mother’s brother!

Bad Day?  Your mother sleeps with the man you love.

Worse Day?  Your GRANDMOTHER sleeps with the man you love (Chelsea Brady, Days of Our Lives).  It sucks to have a hot grandmother, doesn’t it:?  Kate Roberts has never been the type to sit home and bake cookies.

Just be glad that… he didn’t sleep with your great-grandmother.  Dude, you just can’t live something like THAT down.

Bad Day?  Your favorite daytime soap goes dark.  A show that was once filled with love, romance, and laughter is now a show about death and destruction.  I’ve never forgiven General Hospital writers for killing Justice Ward and stuffing his body in the trunk of a car.. Justice FREAKIN’ WARD… a Quartermaine heir!  Fargin sons of bastiges!  ICEHOLES!

Worse Day?  Not only does your beloved show cling to the dark side, featuring an endless “murderous mobsters with hearts of gold” storyline, they begin casting actors who are renowned for playing mobsters in film and primetime.  Sopranos onscreen capo Vicent Pastore (Big P), welcome to the show.  Just know that we don’t fault YOU! 

Just be glad that…  the dipwads in charge didn’t cast Pee Wee Herman as the new mob boss.  GH’s lollipop mob already lacks credibility.  Danny Vermin was more believable as a mobster. They don’t deal drugs, they don’t push prostitution (any more), they don’t take protection money… Good luck, Vinnie P.  You may have just lost YOUR mob character cred!

Bad Day?  You find out your psychotic sister, Pam Douglas, hasn’t been taking her meds in more than three months (Stephanie Forrester, BnB).  She decides to ‘protect’ and help you by tying your rival to a chair, smearing her with honey, and enticing a bear to attack the ‘hot tamale’ now married to your husband…

Worse Day?  She fails.

Just be glad that… oh hell, there IS no silver lining here!  She FAILED!

Bad Day? AMC’s Erica Kane has a bit of a fit when she finds out that her protege has spent the night with a man she still deeply loves.  It prompts a battle between her inner angel and inner devil.  The inner devil wins.

Worse Day?  No one notices, Erica’s inner devil almost ALWAYS wins.

Just be glad that… Erica doesn’t have a twin!

Bad Day?  Your husband’s tragic and violent death triggers your alter personality to take over and cause you to turn into a raving lunatic who develops an evil plan for revenge (Tess/Jessica Nash, OLTL).

Worse Day?  No one notices the change in behavior.

Just be glad that… well, I was going to say ‘see Erica Kane’, but Jessica IS a twin.  Just be glad that she hasn’t been widely exposed, yet.  Tess is such a great bad girl and Jessica will be home, soon enough.

Bad Day?  You risk your own life to rescue an ex-husband who likes to periodically remind you that you were once a stripper.  He tops it by telling you you’d be nothing without him. (Nikki Newman, Young and the Restless).

Worse Day?  When you find him, he’s such a bastard, you forget why you wanted to rescue him in the first place.

Just be glad that… you’re not the recently deceased ‘Mrs. Great Man, herself’ he’s grieving for.  What’s that?  Oh, I know that the recently deceased ‘Mrs. Great Man, herself’ has a name, but she’s married to ‘The Great Man, himself’, so whatever HER name was just isn’t important.  Don’t beleive me?  Just ask Victor!

Bad Day?  Your sister-in-law poisons you and no one figures out it was poison until much later (BnB, Eric Forrester).

Worse Day?  She nearly took you out by adding an overdose of potassium to the lemon bars she bakes for you.

Just be glad that… your name is not Dixie Martin and that AMC writers aren’t penning this storyline.  Dixie was killed by posioned peanut butter pancakes! It’s rough out there in soap land, no wonder they’re all so skinny.  Daytime characters need food tasters.

Bad Day? You pay a man to ‘scare off’ a woman you hate.  You save her just as he’s about to sexually assault her – you save her because you’ve just found out that she’s your daughter. (Olivia Spencer, Guiding Light).  He later kills your friend’s daughter and eventually escapes prosecution.

Worse Day?    You offer to pay him to sleep with you because you’re lonely.  Oh yeah – they roll that way on Guiding Light, these days! 

Just be glad that… you’re not watching.  I’ve seen the ratings, you’re not!