Ok, BnBers/OLTLers, what the hell?

One Life To Live:  Marty Saybrooke?  I don’t know if it’s possible, but I would love for the writers to use the time they have left to redeem this character.  She was the wild child gone good, who made a wonderful life for herself , survived the death of her soul mate, and raised a child.  First in attempt to prop Todd and whitewash the ‘twice raped’ dynamic between them, then to prop John McBain, and later the John -Natalie relationship, the writers deconstructed Marty into an unrecognizable and unlikable character.  It will be painful watching the show end, having eternally ruined a great character.

I’m not a movie buff who watches only feel-ggod films or only movies with fully resolved endings.  I’ll admit that I have been a soap viewer who loved soaps most when they left the audience with the feeling that all is well in the alternate universe our soap faves live in at the close of their run.  GL’s ending was perfect.  It lovely to think of Josh and Reva (and son) on a trip around the world, the four musketeers filling their days with dinners together and discussing their families, Alex and Fletcher enjoying a life they’d never imaged they could have, Remy and Tina deeply in love, Bill and Lizzie and making things work with Jon and all are peacefully coparenting… you get the picture. 

I hope for something similar for OLTL.  Fans deserve nothing less than a happy Victoria Lord, peace between Vicki and Dorian, Clint gaining back his humanity and reuniting with his family,Marty – whose life has been so violent and tragic finally at peace, and I’ll let you imagine the rest from there.

The Bold and the Beautiful:  In the age of waning budgets for new hires and an attempt to tell complete storylines with as few cast members as possible, I am – to some degree, sympathetic to the limitations of meeting a such a tough balancing act.  I am, however, still stunned by what I saw yesterday (day before?).  The writers REALLY have to think about what they’re doing that makes taylor look either completely unethical moron, and the rest of the citizens of Bell’s fictionalized L.A. look completely unhinged!

Why would Katie agree to therapy with taylor, not only the world’s worst and most idiotic psychiatrist, but a woman who has repeatedly attacked, and supported the attack of, her sister – sisters if you add Donna? I could only love that ridiculous plot if the writers were smart enough to make Katie devious in using taylor, knowing that she and Stephanie would declare war on Bill if he didn’t stay away from steffy.   Sadly, Katie begged Bill not to leave her at the end of the therapy session. I wish the writers had left that part alone, but they just can’t help themselves.  A misogynistic fool being begged by his once strong wife not to leave her.  It wouldn’t have hurt to have allowed Katie was allowed to maintain her standards, writers. 

As for Steffy, the other thorn in the side of the Logan-Spencer marriage, she is either delusional or a pathological liar, given the way the writers are penning her dialogue. She’s better than the Logan’s because she’d never go after a married man? She’d never make a move on him? Wha’????? Bill won’t have her, that’s the only thing that stops her from moving forward. Steffy has put every move she’s known on Bill and he’s rejected her.  Steffy and Stephanie are so one note in their attacks on the Logans. They can’t stand faulting the men in their lives for chasing after Logan women – so they whitewash Forrester male actions to fault Logan women.

That’s the defnition of a weak woman. Steffy was aptly named.

Since I’m catching about one show a month – where is Bridget, readers? Bill telling Katie she should have stayed with Marone if she wanted ‘normal’ was laughable. The man who dumped on her niece for her and for Brooke? I could have sworn Bill made comments that made it clear that he knew that history. That ain’t normal, not even by soap standards — and it’s not like Katie really had a choice to be with Nick. He knew he wanted Bridget – who forgave him for his repeated betrayals. Katie knew it was a matter of time. Who knew that Nick wouldn’t forgive Bridget for her ONE betrayal?

She’s free and he’s headed back to Katie-land?  Far too predictable.

As for the Brooke and Thomas teaser?  Words fail me.  Since I have nothing good to say, I’ll say nothing at all.

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Points to ponder – All Soaps

*YnR’s NuMalcolm?  Not workin’.  I’m trying, folks, I really am, but as good as it is to see Darius McCrary on screen again, this was just the wrong role to cast him in. Though… given the choice between keeping him as Malcolm and keeping KC’s Lily, he wins hands down!  Malcolm Winters was an iconic character and unfortunately, McCrary’s interpretation falls flat.  I’ve seen McCrary’s work in other projects (including CBS’s Cold Case) and he’s been very good.  Something about this role just doesn’t seem to translate well for the actor.

* If GH’s “Franco” came to town because he’s totally obsessed with Jason:

1.  Why was it necessary to have Maxie pimped out and risk her relationship with Spinelli?  His focus has been Jason the entire time.  The side story involving Maxie just doesn’t make sense and seems to be an awful waste of a couple (Maxelli) and a character (Franco).  It served no purpose.

2.  How can Jason be considered a ‘good guy’ when his actions capture  the imagination of a ‘psychotic’ killer?  Jason’s murderous exploits have made him an international icon for blood thirsty criminals?  Some hero!

3.  Why didn’t TPTB just name him Franco Guza?  It would make sense of Franco’s obsession with Jason and the Suckpranos.  It would have felt more honest.  It’s art, seemingly, imitating life.

* Why aren’t the BnB”s Logan women allowed to confront sister Katie with her penchant for betraying her family for the love of  her latest squeeze?  Katie is 2 for 2, right now, and I’m getting tired of her whining and moaning about how SHE’S been betrayed.  Put that attitude away Katie, and if you need help figuring out where to put it, just ask!

*  Does anyone else think that ATWT’s Simon and Henry would make a far hotter couple than Luke and Noah?   I’m so tired of the on-again-off-again nature of the Nuke relationship that I’m ready to see ATWT’s PTB replace them, NOW.  Pay attention ATWT’s writers.  OLTL’s writers are separating the men from the boys and writing a real relationship between two characters – who just happen to be gay. Watch and learn… Speaking of OLTL:

* Why the hell did OLTL’s Bo hand Dorian back the only piece of evidence that could convict his niece of stabbing Mitch Laurence?  Was that supposed to be a sign of his honesty and integrity?  It felt more like evidence of his sheer stupidity,  especially since it’s becoming painfully clear to others that Dorian is Mitch’s puppet.

As for Dorian Lord, she is nothing if not devious.  I’m not too thrilled with the image of a helpless Dorian Lord constantly caving in to Mitch’s demands.  At what point does she put her years of mischief-making to use and takes Mitch down?  I’m shocked by the fact that I like seeing Dorian on top, Mayor and chief power broker in Llanview, but I do.  Why have that ruined by having her behave like a skittish child, jumping at the sight of her own shadow?  MORE kick-ass Dorian, LESS kiss-ass Dorian, please.

* Doesn’t anyone else  ever get tired of hearing the BnB’s taylor whine about how Brooke stole her life, and made her miserable?  Even I can agree with her that that situation with Jack was traumatic.  I sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted to give birth to the biological child of a woman I hated.    Taylor didn’t sign on to be a surrogate.  She had in vitro in order to have a family with Nick.  The child she carried was supposed to be HER child.  I get it, but the problem with her whining is that Brooke didn’t cause taylor to ‘lose’ her son.  Taylor chose to give him away.  She also chose to continue to try to compete with Brooke for Ridge – even when Ridge  made it CLEAR that it was Brooke he loved.  You can’t ask the woman to stay out of your life, and then constantly throw yourself in the middle of her life and call yourself a victim.

* Why do DAYS writers continue to make my skin crawl by having EJ touch Sami?  Yes, yes… he was only comforting her after she received a call from Sydney’s kidnapper…. it’s just that every time he goes near her, I see him holding her at gunpoint.   I hear him  telling her that the only way to save  Lucas is to let him violate her.  Every touch makes my skin crawl.  Has Sami forgotten how she ended up pregnant with  EJ’s spawn (cutie that she is) and the one before her?  C’mon writers,  give Sami her dignity back and have her tell EJ to keep his gun-toting rapist paws off of her.  Her confused ‘feelings’ are degrading and humiliating to watch, speaking as a woman.

Hey, if the actor involved can admit it was rape (comment below from a James Scott interview),

I would be lying if I said I didn’t worry about my future on the soap. I don’t think they handled the rape very well, and I’ll tell you why. EJ raped Sami, and then afterwards, he’s hanging out in her house — alone with her. It’s irresponsible on so many levels. However, had it been handled well, I think it would have been an interesting story choice. Now the story focus has shifted to her pregnancy and the classic soap story of paternity. Having said that, I chose to believe that EJ is in love with Samantha — he just can’t communicate it.

and TPTB can admit it was rape, it was RAPE.  He forced her to have sex with him to save the life of the man she loved. You can read a decidedly pro EJami Wikipedia entry with Scott’s comments HERE (that is until someone decides to try to delete the comment).

As for DAYS increasingly dwindling ratings fortunes, is it any wonder that the new  focus on Sami and EJ is linked to a rather rapid ratings slide for the show? Good luck selling Ej and Sami as anything other than what they really are:  a victim and her obsessive, stalking, rapist.

* For most of the year (plus), All My Children has been largely unwatchable.   Color me surprised when I got gooey and nostalgic for Hayley and Mateo’s return (more Hayley than Mateo).  Watching Adam soften while talking with Hayley and joke about knowing something about raising  ‘difficult children’ was the most priceless moment of that episode for me – Hayley of the dyed dark punk rock hair, now a mother with a wild child of her own.  I thought about Brian Bodine,  Uncle Pork Chop (Trevor), Natalie down the well, Janet from another Planet, Adam’s dark dark days (which really were different from just his ‘dark’ days), Stuart and Cindy, scheming Arlene Vaughn, the Santos family – even preachy mom and dad, Edmund and Maria, Erica and Dimitri, Bad girl Kendall and sweetheart Del Cooney, The Martin clan, Jeremy, Laurel and her brother Michael, Cliff and Nina,  Palmer and Daisy, The Montgomery Brothers and their feud, Brooke English, Phoebe and  Langley, Chuck and Tara,  Beloved Mona and Myrtle, Ellen and Devon, Mark Dalton, Tom and Sean Cudahy, and so much more… sheesh).  I know that not all of the above mentioned characters were on screen at the same time but just those few moments with Adam and Hayley opened a stream of AMC consciousness  and I felt warm all over.   I miss All my Children – the real All my Children.

* At some point, BnB’s Brooke Logan’s children are going to have to acknowledge (or learn) that there was NO WAR between their mother and Stephanie Douglas.  Stephanie has been on the attack against Brooke almost from the moment she met her.  Brooke has tried in vain to make peace and keep peace.  Brooke does not seek Stephanie out to hurt her or make her miserable as Stephanie has done with her.  Brooke hasn’t made a point of trying t0  publicly expose Stephanie for whatever her wrongdoings are – and there are many.  Brooke hasn’t tried to turn Stephanie’s children against her, as Stephanie has tried to do with Brooke’s children.

To allow Brooke’s children to continue to think of Stephanie as ‘human’ feels like one of the daytime’s biggest lies.  Theirs has been daytime’s biggest farce of a rivalry.  A rivalry would require TWO participants.  It would require balance.  It has neither.  In any other galaxy, Stephanie would be acknowledged as the psychotic villainess -bully she’s always been.  Calling Stephanie a victim of Brooke’s would be the same as calling GH’s Helena Cassadine a victim of Alexis Davis… Hels only slit Alexis’ mother’s throat in front of her when she was a child and threatened her life every single day from that moment on.  The warm and toasty moments between Brooke’s children and the dragon lady leaves me switching channels.  When a crazed bee-yotch hands your mother an unregisted gun, while wearing white gloves, and tries to get her to take her life, she’s not your friend.  She’s not like a mother to you, she’s not human.  When that same woman facilitates your mother’s rape, you’re not suposed to ask her to be a part of your children’s lives.  Come on BnB writers, get a grip.

OLTL, you like me, you really LIKE me

It’s like someone woke a sleeping giant!  OLTL is showing big love to its fans once more!  Prior to this lasted set of arcs, this show was on a huge downward shame spiral for some time now.  The storylines stopped making sense, the characters became unlikable – or worse, BORING, and watching OLTL began to feel more like an obligation.  Hey, I could have trashed the show without watching it, but how fair would that have been?

Trash it?  Oh no, I’m here to PRAISE it!  This show has found its mojo and it’s paying off in SPADES.  My biggest gripe with daytime is that so few writers seem to do the unexpected any more.  Most writers’ moves are telegraphed and therefore yawn producing.  OLTL writers seem to be determined to offer viewers the unexpected.  Fans have wondered if David’s conversion was real.  Had he become a better man, or was this yet another Vicker’s scam?  I’ll admit that I was waiting for the scam – when isn’t David pulling a con?  We got our answer. 

THIS time David is for real.  He not only doesn’t want to harm the Buchanans, but the revelation that BO, not Asa is his father has led him to change his mind and being entitled to the Buchanan money.  The old David would have fought tooth and nail for that money and not given Bo a second thought.  David isn’t willing to hurt his family just to become a wealthy man.  He wants to create his own life.  He wants to feel good about who he is and not owe anyone anything.  Of course, it sucks that we learned it as he was on his way out the door (Tuc Watkins why do you keep breaking my heart with each goodbye!?!?!) but we can’t blame the writers for that.

I’d expected Rex  to somehow turn out to be Bo’s son (not Mitch Laurence’s- if the mystery man really is Mitch Laurence).

I never expected Bo to be so callous in learning about David’s paternity (WTH was that?  Having lost one son, you’d think that Bo would have been reluctant to get to know David, but to want to know him anyway.)

I expected David to turn out not to be Asa’s, but instead to be Ned Truman’s son after all.

At the very least, I expected David to stick it to Dorian, who’d waged war against him during his marriage to Addie, by having her give up her fortune and then claiming his and not marrying her.

I’ve been happy to be proven wrong at every turn. The show is far more interesting this way.

OLTL, sometimes you SUCK!

There’s so  much I love about this show (see below).  Then there’s the Todd/Marty rape-is-romance storyline.  Why the writers won’t just cut their losses and drop the Manning pursuit  is beyond me.  Are they sending Todd to prison or is  this another exercise in futility?

 What can they do that will make up for the creepiness of having Todd sleep with Marty while she was amnesic and couldn’t remember the earlier rape or the months of torture and threats after?  He was NOT a repentant rapist at that time, to be sure. He was actually quite vicious in the way he followed her around town, grabbing her, threatening to hurt her again, threatening to hurt anyone who tried to protect her.   

OLTL writers, you are NOT going to make me feel sorry for Todd by having Antonio behave like a prick and falsely accuse him of the attempted rape of  Lee Halpern/Janet Ketring.   New Todd rules?  When he does rape someone, he goes free.  When he doesn’t rape a woman, he ends up in court or being harassed by the police.  You’ve sunk to a new low. 

By the way, why are Talia and Tonio allowed to work together?  Come on, writers, we all remember that Bo has had to reprimand Tonio more than once, now he’s letting Tonio work  with the person who is most likely to let him have a free reign?  Clearly the man needs a partner who reminds him that being a cop is not about nursing his grudges or trying to be a superhero.  Any guesses as to whether one of Antonio’s stupid moves helps Todd go free, again?

 Why couldn’t the writers just leave Todd’s redemption alone?

David, Dorian, and enlightenment!

Oh Dorian!  Could David be setting you up?  Is it possible that he already knows he’s a Buchanan heir?   Will David have the last laugh by taking control of the Buchanan fortune and leaving Dorian penniless?  She did everything she could to make him miserable the last time around.  She kept HIM penniless and powerless.  Wouldn’t that be a fantastic twist?   I buy David’s transformation about as much as I’d buy  Roxy as the president of the local Mensa chapter, soapgod love ‘er! 

Dear Melissa Archer.

You’re a great beauty, a marvelous actor, and probably one of the most fan-friendly celebs  around.  So what’s going on backstage?  The hair department loves you – obviously.  The wardrobe department?  Not so much.  Whatever you’ve done to offend them (walked off with the last bottled water, accidently crushed a car bumper, forgot to invite wardrobe to your last big party)… don’t do it again!    When everyone goes home for the night, steal that goshawfulmakesmyeyesbleed blue sweater and burn it.  While you’re at it, grab “Tea’s” grey coat,  “TessBessica’s” institutional chic lounge wear, “Brody’s” gray t-shirt and sweats, John’s black shirts/pants/socks/shoes/belts/coats/t-shirts/ and burn those too.

Wait, maybe you haven’t offended the wardrobe department, maybe ABC should pony up the cash and pay for a shopping spree!

OLTL -BnB – YnR: Rebellion of the Mini Mustaches

The Young and the Restless

— FINALLY!!!  There’s something for the Newman children to do besides cower and tremble at the feet of the great roaring lion, Victor Newman himself!  Victoria’s takeover of Newman? Brilliant!  Forcing Adam out of the top position AND off the Newman ranch?  PRICELESS!   Who knew Victoria had it in her?  Doesn’t she know that the great man, himself, will tear her limb from limb for daring to disobey daddy dearest?  Sure, there’s always the possiblity, but why should she care?  Adam is a bigger problem for the Newman legacy, right now, than Victor will be.

This battle between the mini-mustaches is a must see!  The devil is in the details, so I love the subtle justification for Victoria’s leadership by having her force Adam to prove just how little he knows about the people Newman does business with and how little he knows about the company.  Kudos to the writers for not only having Victoria take over, but for making her a competent and tough-as-nails CEO to boot.  Adam has a lot to learn from his big sister – not that it will matter to him.  Surely he’s plotting his return to power.  Let’s hope this battle continues.  What would the mustache, himself, do if he was around? Revel in his children’s battles.  Being the child of the great man is a bloodsport, after all.

— Both of Michael’s parents are criminals?  He and Kevin never had a shot.  It’s hard to remember the old Michael (and to some degree the old Kevin).  The writers are probably not going to touch the history of these two brothers but they have done a good job of implicitly explaining how the Baldwin brothers becaming the men they once were. 

— Ana, Ana, Ana… I’m sick to death of hearing that kid sing but I love the Hamilton-Winters clan as it’s pulling together (I can pretend that Lily isn’t there whenever she’s on).  The family is fun, and sweet, and warm.  The interaction between Devon and Ana was so tender that it made me miss all the great family moments we’re no longer treated to in daytime (GL’s Bauer Barbeque, GH’s Nurses Ball and the families that come together).  The Hamilton-Winters family is wonderful addition to daytime.  I haven’t loved the Winters family this much since Drucilla was around.  I hope to see more of them. 

The Bold and The Beautiful

Is there NO END to the humiliation Nick and Katie are willing to put Bridget through?  Why couldn’t they have chosen a different hospital?  Why would they force Bridget to face her colleagues (and force them to face her) with the ugliness of their betrayal?  This is beginning to feel intentional on Nick’s part.  First he and Taylor use the same hospital Bridget works at for the in vitro, and now this?  Daytime writers are always claiming they’ll offer something not done before in the history of daytime.  I’m voting for daytime’s first castration storyline … with Nick Marone as the donor.  Nick ‘the Bobbit’ Marone?  It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Have all other hospitals in L.A. and nearby communities suddenly closed?  What’s the excuse for Nick’s behavior, THIS TIME?  Thank goodness the Bakers are on!  They’re a welcome distraction from the Nick and Katie horror. Besides:

Is anyone else  up for a Charlie/Bridget/Owen triangle?

One Life to Live

  • Clint making deals with Jared?  Planning to semi-welcome him into the family?
  • Clint, using poor Langston as ‘collateral damage’ in his war on Dorian?
  • Gigi immediately excusing Rex for sleeping with another woman just because she looked so much like her?
  • John in an administrative position?
  • Antonio being willing to risk making his child an orphan just to chase ‘true love’ (ok, this one doesn’t bother me as much as it should – love Antonio and Talia)

Who ARE these people?  Clint, especially, is unrecognizable. 

HOORAY to the OLTL writers for bringing the following to a close:

  • The time travel storyline.
  • Marty sitting in that bed 24 hours a day – let John find her, already!
  • Rex and Gigi’s separation.  It’s time for them to move forward.  Now end the paternity lie.
  • The Cole-Starr storyline (yeah, I know, it’s a pipe dream but I’m adding the end of this storyline to my wish list.  From the show’s current ratings, so are many of you!)

What I’m waiting for:

  • For everyone to SHUT UP telling Cole how evil and self-centered he is for mourning the loss of his child.  What’s the insanity taking place in Llanview that makes a responsible young man seem like a jerk for loving Starr’s ‘baby bump’?
  • Blair’s reaction to finding out that Marty is alive – and that John’s been dreaming about Marty, instead of her.
  • Natalie’s reaction to finding out that Tess has returned – will she and Jared feel an ounce of guilt?
  • Viki taking on Tess.
  • Todd stomping out Marcie’s insane obsession with Starr’s child.
  • Marcie’s reaction to learning that she’s lost Michael, who’s moved on, and Starr’s child (on the wish list).
  • Finally,  Clint – Dorian showdown… Oh YEAH!