ABC – A Tale of Two Soaps

ABC presents the epic “mother of all daytime soap battles”.  It’s General Hospital vs. General Hospital!  I regret to inform you that at this moment,  General Hospital  is losing!  As with Dickens’  A Tale of Two Cities, when it comes to GH:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way…

Melodramatic much? On occasion, yes. Yes I am.  Best of times?  When?  Where?

I get where you’re coming from, but bear with me, please.

The best of times, unfortunately, comes in infinitesimally smaller doses than do the worst of times.  The dark mostly swallows the light, and despair too often triumphs over hope… but still, there are moments like these that remind me of the best of GH as it is now, without having to dig into the archives of the GH of the 80s and 90s:

Robin and Patrick’s participation in Karaoke Night was especially poignant for me  because 1 – Even if only for a short time, our SCRUBS get to be the example of a couple that is as close to perfect as any (non mob-related) GH couple can be. I’m sure they’ll have stiff competition when Mac and Alexis finally make it off the ground and when Maxie and Spinelli finally get it right, but right now they add a pretty  glorious shine to this show ; 2 – I miss the Nurses’ Ball and I think this is a small scale way of giving us what the Nurses’ Ball did.  It lets the audience get closer to the show’s  characters.  The karaoke scenes humanize the characters and reminds us that they do more than sneak around with one another’s husbands and wives.  It’s a great compromise almost making up for the absence of the Nurses Ball -very clever; 3 – These sort of scenes give fans the opportunity to appreciate the additional  talents of the show’s actors.  I also appreciate the courage it takes for each of them to step out of their traditional roles.  No criticisms from me!  I thought they were all magnificent.; 4 –  They’re just FUN!  There are so few GH scenes that are FUN.  Most of them are about death, betrayal, hatred, jealousy, adultery, and many other vices.   It’s nice to watch GH and just smile on occasion.

How adorable were Morgan and Molly?  How funny is it  that in that room full of women,  of those who weren’t his children – at least half of them has been in bed with and/or impregnated by Sonny Corinthos?… and by funny I mean ‘pathetic’… That brings us to:

The Worst of Times

Forgive my  opining (nay whining) over the current state of General Hospital, but  I’ve experienced my first true soap heartbreak – one that had nothing to do with the cancellation of a beloved show, that is.   I’ve said, previously, that I’m done with GH, DONE!  KAPUT!  FINISHED!  FINITO!  For the most part that’s been true.  I did watch Liz run to Luke’s to beg Lucky to return to her.  I watched Ethan and Lucky chatting about Liz and enjoyed the flashbacks of a young LL2, even if I did feel as if I’d been kicked in the soft tissue watching the clips of a very young Liz and Lucky declaring their love.   I miss who they were to each other.  I got the writers message to the fans, via Lucky’s dialogue, about seeing people as they are now and not how you use to know them.  Bite me.  I’ll never see LL2 as having ‘moved on’.  They’ll forever be viewed by me as having been destroyed by the writers’ reckless impulses and self-indulgent excesses.

I was annoyed by  the writers use of  Liz’s rape as part of the casual conversation between Lucky and Ethan – the brother Lucky barely knows.  It was both a sacred moment  (to LL2) and profane  moment (on the part of Liz’s attacker) that began their relationship.  It was all reduced to drunken banter and  gossip by two people who could have just as easily been strangers.

Outside of those scenes, I know that I’m not missing much.  Basic daytime storylines in daytime haven’t changed – just the players and the severity of characters’ reactions to events in their lives.  There’s clearly no possibility of missing anything ‘big’ by largely tuning out this show or any other daytime program.  It’s not like there will be major revolutions in daytime storytelling any time soon!  (Get it?  Dickens?  Tale of Two Cities? Revolutions?)

Finally: Belief vs. Incredulity

I thought back to the situation that caused me to want to fully walk away from both General Hospital and the entire genre of daytime.  When Dante refused to tell the police that Sonny shot him, I was stunned.  In that one moment, the writers’ deconstructed a potentially marvelous character and destroyed the beautiful and inspiring backstory they’d created for him. This past year we had a reason to believe that it just might be possible that the writers would bring a true hero back to GH, one in the same vein of Mac Scorpio, Anna Devane, Robert Scorpio, Sean Donnelly, Frisco and Felicia Jones, the entirety of the WSB).  That’s now gone.   I never expected Dante to send Sonny to prison – no one ever has no matter how guilty he was.  I just never expected him to cave to the magic of Sonny’s mojo so quickly.  With a different set of paternal DNA and a uterus, Dante would  have borne Sonny another child by now.

As if ignoring the ‘attempted cop killer’ charge wasn’t enough, Dante commented that he thought Olivia, who’d become pregnant at 15 (rewrite?), slept around so much that she didn’t know WHO his father was. <gasp>  That line left me feeling utter revulsion for the character.  Whatever the case, he was angry at her for not telling him sooner that Sonny was his father.  Sonny “attempted cop killer” Corinthos was also angry at her and blamed Dante’s near death on her decades long lie.

“W-T-F”, I thought.  I’m sure the writers, who must be bored writing the bi-annual “Who’s the Daddy?”) storyline for Sonny and his small village filled with offspring, must have thought they were writing a unique twist on yet another telling of that storyline.  That ‘twist’ reads more like ‘twisted’ and this storyline deserves comparison to other Who’s the Daddy? storylines, when the good guys really were good.

I thought about the clip I’d posted of Robert, Robin, and Anna, in a prior blog:

I know that there are significant differences:

1.  Robin was an adorable child.  Dante is an “angry” adult male (even if his anger truly is righteous).

2. Robert knew early on that Robin was his child.  Sonny didn’t find out until it was ‘too late’.

3.  Robin wasn’t sent to try to destroy Robert.  Dante was.  For whatever reason, some see justifiable anger in Sonny’s attempt to kill Dante, the cop, for doing his job.  It seems plausible to accept the argument that Sonny would never have tried to kill Dante if he’d known that Dante was his son.

If the writers are consistent, I can’t say that I believe that the above assertion is true.  Sonny was more than willing to hurt his own brother when he thought he could justify it, or if he felt the need to save himself over Ric.   Sonny never gave a damn for Ric, the person who shared his DNA.  I can only believe that the writers would have been consistent and gone the ‘Lansing Route’ had they decided to have Dante found out without having Sonny shoot him.  We would have then been treated to ‘dead to me’ scenes between the father and son, with  Dante working like a mad dog to make amends for having the audacity to hate crime and criminals now that he knows he’s genetically linked to a mob boss.

In the end, the issue isn’t really about the difference between Robin and Dante as the long lost children of high profile Port Chuckles citizens.  It’s about the differences between writing teams, and the radically different approaches they’ve taken to trying to get the audience to buy into newly developed families. The GH writing team of the 80s wrote for a real hero and wrote for real emotions.  I can’t tell you what the current writing team writes for.  For it it feels as if they’re writing for a hopelessly lost villain that they continue to want to sell as a hero and writing cheap ploys masquerading as real emotions.  The legacy of the introduction of characters like Anna, Robert, and Robin is that fans still want MORE of their story.  There’s are still stories to be told that have the ability to help fans recall the old GH – when light pushed back the darkness, hope triumphed over despair, and we had everything before us.  I don’t think we can say the same for current storylines.

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Whores of the world, UNITE! Women in Daytime, Vol. 2

Women in daytime = whores.  At least, I think they’re the same.  I dunno.  It’s hard for me to figure it all out since I’m just a woman.    Either I’ve been watching too much daytime or it’s the peyote… (just kidding on the last part, though given what some shows are doing to daytime women and viewers as a consequence, a little peyote might make daytime shows go down a little easier).

General Hospital

I’m all about the ‘I told you so’ lately and I want to hand one out to the writers of GH.  I’ve never been impressed with the casting of James Franco in the role of ‘Franco’  and have been horrified by the drooling and self-congratulating  linked to the casting of JF in the role.  The fact that the character was named  Franco was enough to tell me about the lack of creativity  attached his development.  It seemed to be all about stunt casting and the hope that a primetime/big screen actor could save GH from falling ratings.

It feels as if  GH’s PTB were so convinced that negative stereotypes about daytime viewers were real, the stereotype that we’re just a bunch of sex-starved panty-clinching rubes, who lick our screens whenever a hot male actor is featured, that casting JF as ‘Franco’ made sense!  As if we don’t already have enough testosterone filled doom and gloom on screen! (As for that screen licking part, I freely admit that I do think about licking the screen when Jason Thompson’s Patrick is on, but hell, who doesn’t?) The idea that “Franco” would cause us to swoon was as big a fallacy as almost everything else the GH writers have offered us by way of propping the Suckpranos storyline.   I don’t want to see one more character, stunt casting or otherwise, sacrificed on the altar of the mob boys.

  • Give Olivia her brain back.   She was such a strong vibrant character for so long and now she’s a walking-talking mess.   All the daydreaming about Sonny  makes me ill.  If I had to worry about Sonny putting a bullet in my kid’s head because my kid was a cop working to make the world safe?  I wouldn’t be able to daydream about having sex with the guy or daydream about him holding my hand. I wouldn’t even daydream about spitting on the guy if he was on fire!  What’s wrong with this woman?  What’s with her libido?  Sonny rocked her world over two decades ago, bedded and nearly wedded her cousin – swore his eternal love for Kate before the world while barely noticing or remembering Olivia, and she’s still lusting for him?  STOP! IT!
  • Quit making Carly an idiot who treats Jax’s child as Sonny’s future ‘kidnapped bait’ child.  It’s disgusting.  Notice that when Carly was listing off the children who were protected by Sonny’s grace, she included Josslyn, and not Molly?  STOP IT!
  • STOP making Lulu fall for the mob boys and/or supporting them to the point of even trying to convince the police that they really deserve to be set free instead of in prison where they belong.  Stop making her fall for anyone connected, even tangentially, to the mob boys.   Whatever those mob boys have going on below the belt must be some powerful mojo!  And it’s demeaning to us all.
  • Quit making me feel sorry for Rebecca “NotEmily” Shaw by having her actually be the voice of logic and reason before you ship her off.  I really resent you for this one, GH writers.  I’m an avowed ‘Remily’ hater and to leave me cheering for her is one of your worse offenses, yet.  Even still, I grew tired of the “Liz is a slut’ mantra she had going – not that I disagree with the sentiment, just the constant expression of it.  I did enjoy the fact that she continued to remind Liz that her house of cards would soon fold.  The sendoff for Rebecca, the Emily- clone was perfect, by having her make friends with a Zander clone… Chad Brannon was pretty darned delicious looking.  When his clone character drops  Rebecca off in Paris, have him come back!   Patrick’s stalker ex could use a good hook up – then again, so could Matt Drake, who spends far too much time trying to convince Robin that her marriage is in trouble!
  • Maxie, Maxie, Maxie… REALLY?  She’s gives herself to Franco for the sake of getting him to agree to help her out professionally?  Then she tries to pimp out Spinelli to make herself feel better?  She gives relationship advice to Max and Diane about ‘balanced cheating’?    Maxelli, Scrubs Love, and Jax and Carly were the only interesting things GH had going in its favor and the writers are slowly dismantling all three.  Speaking of…
  • For the love of all that’s soap-holy… give me a Scrubs storyline that has nothing to do with old girlfriends crawling out of the woodwork!  Yeah, yeah… Patrick puts it on ’em… they can’t get enough… once you go Patrick, you never go back… Even though I can believe that his arrogant aloof treatment of women made them want him more, I’m getting tired of women who are attracted to him on that basis.  The writers made the courageous decision to make him a happy family man, now I wish they’d make the courageous decision to create family driven storytelling around the Scorpio-Drake clan.  What makes Patrick attractive is that he’s a man who loves his wife and child.  Having him betray them would destroy that.  Leave something that’s still a little pure and  just for us.

I’d love it if the GH powers that be would stop treating women (onscreen) like a bunch of ‘spare parts’ waiting to be traded by GH males, as they’re needed.  Bringing on stellar actors like James Franco can’t  cover the holes in plots, the obsession with the dark  arts of the mob boys, or the weak female characters who aren’t just damaged- they’re damned deranged.  Treating your viewers like sex-starved fiends who’ll gladly buy what you’re selling won’t help either.  I know it’s not just my perspective that GH has lost what made it great… I’ve seen the ratings.  GH is hemorrhaging viewers and the great ‘Franco’ (onscreen Franco) doesn’t deliver a big enough draw to stop it:

Ratings for the week December 7-11, 2009 (when the character Franco’s arrival and work should have made a difference)
HH
1. Y&R 3.7/12 (+.2/same)
2. B&B 2.4/8 (+.1/-.4)
3. DAYS 2.2/7 (+.2/+.1)
4. AMC 2.0/6 (+.1/same)
5. ATWT 1.9/6 (+.1/-.1)
5. GH 1.9/6 (same/-.3)
7. OLTL 1.8/6 (same/ -.2)

Week of December 14 – 18th)

HH
1. Y&R 3.5/12 (-.2/-.3)
2. B&B 2.3/8 (-.1/-.4)
3. DAYS 2.1/7 (-.1/same)
4. AMC 2.0/7 (same/-.1)
5. GH 1.9/6 (same/-.3)
6. ATWT 1.8/6 (-.1/-.3)
6. OLTL 1.8/6 (same/-.3)

Week of December 21 – 25
HH
1. Y&R 3.5/11 (same/-.2)
2. B&B 2.3/7 (same/-.3)
3. DAYS 2.0/6 (-.1/-.1)
3. AMC 2.0/6 (same/same)
5. ATWT 1.8/5 (same/-.1)
5. GH 1.8/5 (-.1/-.4)
7. OLTL 1.7/5 (-.1/-.3) <—— ties low rating (Last time: August 31 – September 4, 2009)

Ratings courtesy of Soap Opera Network:  SON

So why am I still watching? I don’t think soap fans like me want too much.  We just want a balance.  How about  2  smart women for every woman who is lobotomized for the sake of the dark storylines?  I’m hoping Scrubs will survive and find a real storyline and that the writers will give us a storyline about them that will engage the audience without either of them cheating, I’ve FINALLY gotten the Mac and Alexis pairing I’ve been pimping for, through 2009  (don’t think I’m not grateful, just realize I’m not fully satisfied.  They’re off to a great start, and I need MORE).  Dare I hope that Mac/Alexis/Robert/Anna/Robin/Patrick  would be able to restore law and order to PC and that they turn the town around and take down the real bad guys?  I’m hoping that smart, funny, and strong-if-not-neurotic, women like Robin and Alexis (and yes, even Diane) will be allowed to lead the way.

One Life to Live

Nora Buchanan.   Nora is the woman who slept with her ex, Sam Rappaport, and passed his child off as her husband Bo’s child.  Even better is the fact that she did it for Bo– whose son was recently killed.  That was the rationalization she gave for betraying her husband, she most saintedly did it FOR his sake – all the while knowing that Sam was deeply in love with her and knowing what the emotionally fallout might be.   Fortunately (or unfortunately)  for all involved, after Bo and Sam’s deep pain, it turns out that Matthew was Bo’s son after all.  Now we have Nora, who’d been warned/pleaded with/begged not to marry Clint because she didn’t really love him, has now left Clint to be with Bo – during a dark time in Clint’s life.

Once again, another ABC male refers to the cheating lying woman who betrayed him as a whore – I can understand Clint’s rage and his willingness to throw Nora’s past in her face.. I just wish I hadn’t already been overwhelmed with the use of the word ‘whore’ from almost every other ABC male before that.  Nora’s reaction was still priceless.  She’s rude and judgmental and has made a habit of telling others why they’re so unworthy of being loved or trusted.   She was stunned that anyone would dare give her the same treatment.  I wasn’t crazy about Clint’s choice of words, but I’m glad that the writers finally allowed someone to point out to Nora what a hypocrite she is.

True to form, Nora didn’t let a little thing like the truth stop her from being who she is.  A full scene later, SHE referred to Kim as ‘that slut’, the ‘whore in her husband’s bed’, a ‘tramp’… uh huh… Sweet irony!  She was talking to Bo, Clint’s brother, the man she’d been having an emotional (almost sexual) relationship with and lying to Clint about it when she said it… YIKES!  Something about the way Bo and Nora are getting together and the pain it’s causing Clint that’s causing me to want to root for Clint and Kim (a couple I’d previously referred to as the reincarnation of Asa and Blair).

Somehow, the writers managed to give Clint and Kim depth.  Kim was fixated on her ‘plan’ to get Clint into bed to help him forget Nora.  She’d treated Clint like a feeble and emotionally dependent ‘old man’ who would be felled by a little bit of a wiggle and giggle.   Kim would have loved Asa – being felled by a wiggle and giggle was more his speed.  Clint had already had her investigated.  He knew about her stripper past, and didn’t care.  He also knew that she thought she was gaming him, and he didn’t care.  He knew that her plan to ‘drink him under the table’ was about taking advantage of him… and he didn’t care because he also knew three other things:

1 – He had the truth on his side and still had the upper hand.

2 – That being involved with the town’s  ‘sainted woman’  isn’t a guarantee that you’ll end up with an honest woman who’ll treat you well.

3 – That Kim isn’t all bad.   Her bark is worse than her bite.  Despite the fact that there is a risk of turning Kim into a ‘hooker with a heart of gold’ stereotype, the writers have so far avoided taking her quite that far.

The storyline seems to be shaping up into one in which the person in need of rescue may be KIM, not Clint.  He’s as intent on using her as she was on using him.   I hope that doesn’t happen, because despite my exhaustion with female-male May-December romances, there’s something about this pairing that I like. Nice touch, writers, on having Kim’s plan fail when she underestimated his ability to hold his liquor.  BRAVO for letting Clint walk away despite Kim’s offer to let him spend the night and having him warn her to quit while she was ahead.  I could root for them as a couple – with Melissa Archer’s Natalie fighting with Kim and making her work to prove her love for Clint.  I could <gulp> just as easily  root for them developing a strong father-daughter relationship (Oedipal, I know) or have them remain as good friends.  Either way, I’m hoping to see far more of Clint and Kim than Bo and Nora.  SON’s  CarlID offered this observation:

It’s interesting to see the fallout of the Bo and Nora reunion. They were a beloved couple many years ago but not only have times changed, many of the people who were in their lives at that time have changed. It’s like, what if you reunite a supercopule and no one cheered? I don’t mean the fans, I mean the characters in their lives. You don’t have a lot of people endlessly going, “You’re fated to be together,” as you do with many other couples on the show. I also think it would be an interesting writing choice if Matthew wasn’t thrilled they were back together and preferred them apart.

I’ll add one other observation about this storyline.  I found Nora’s reaction to seeing Clint with Kim unusual.  Kim was the whore in her husband’s bed?  Why did she care, she was dumping him!?!?! You’d think she’d want Clint to find someone, ANYONE to take the heat off of her betrayal of Clint.  Is it possible that Nora will wake up and realize that her rekindled love for Bo was based on their mutual concern for Matthew and his health issues?  Could Nora wake up and realize that she was happier with Clint than she imagined?  What happens then?  Where does she turn?  Does anyone care?

BTW, folks, is it just me, or did Jerry Ver Dorn make Clint his own with this bend in the storyline?  JVD’s left me breathless!

Tea Delgado/Blair Manning… not whores, they’re just written to allow Todd Manning to treat them as if they are.

Days of Our Lives

Two words:  Carly Manning.  Two more words:  EPIC FAIL.  There are some soap staples I can’t get enough of:  scheming liars who are eventually figuratively  beaten down and forced to eat their own misery.  Bad boys who are only clever by half and outwitted by their victims, victims they eventually fall in love with.  Anything to do with corporate intrigue.  Good old-fashioned romance.  Deep dark family secrets – that have nothing to do with long lost children.

The one plot I’m pretty freaking tired of is the damsel in distress who can’t get enough of the man she left behind and (oh gosh) if only he’d choose her over his wife and family.  He (being the real ‘whore’ in this scenario) decides that he can’t leave her to her own fate and risks losing his wife and child/children, while keeping secrets with the damsel in distress.  It’s not a stretch to believe that daytime writers typically set this storyline up to do one of two things:  try to make us root for our damsel in distress and if that fails, we’re to hate her as a home-wrecking ‘whore’ who broke up a perfectly happy and  loving family.

You’d think that watching her ‘get hers’ would be satisfying – assuming that the lunkhead goes back to his family and treats his wife as his equal partner, and not his potential mistress.   It’s not.   In reality, for fans like me, it only causes us to dislike BOTH partners – the cheating spouse and the idiotic woman who finds his willingness to betray his family a ‘thrill’ and further evidence that she is the object of his desire, not his wife and family. She’s only the next woman to be betrayed when his former victim/spouse becomes the damsel in distress. It’s all less satisfying because he’ll never ‘get his’.  He’ll just become the object of desire for two women – who’ll continue to fight over him until one of them is exhausted or dead.

Isn’t it time for daytime writers to leave iconic couples alone and find new ways to make them relevant to the audience?  Haven’t we seen these storylines play out a million times before?  Viewers exiting daytime in droves isn’t enough evidence that we want something more?  When did daytime become a genre about deconstructing and destroying rather than building something new or building better and higher on the strong foundation already in place?  Where are the powerful female characters who leave us feeling unashamed of being daytime viewers?

If you’ve made it this fair, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve left poor embattled CBS off the list.  Am I sympathetic to the network that’s lost two soaps in two years?  Nope.  I just don’t have the room to continue with CBS’ list of maltreated women in daytime.  This blog would have to be at least three times as long as it is now.  I’m saving that one for a later date.

Suffice it to say, if daytime really is dead -running on fumes,  kicking the bucket, headed for the big one, living on borrowed time… I’d greatly enjoy being able to celebrate women in daytime before it goes.  What do daytime writers have to lose?

You can live well, even if you’re just ‘trash from the valley’

The Logan girls:  Valley Trash Inspiration?

Anyone watching The Bold and The Beautiful for longer than a week has heard Stephanie refer to the Logan women as ‘trash from the valley’, a phrase she less-than-creatively alternates with ‘sluts from the valley’.  The Logan women were, according to Stephanie’s fantasies, poor, tasteless, money-hungry golddiggers who couldn’t wait to get their hands on the Forrester fortune… Except, Brooke chose the working son, not the established moneyed father.  Donna never went near the Forresters, she was attracted to other “poor trash from the valley”, like Rocco Carner), and Katie rarely ever dated.  Stephanie couldn’t forgive the Logan girls because her ‘trash from the hills’ husband chased ‘trash from the valley’ Beth Logan.  Eric then kicked her ‘trash from the east coast’ backside to the curb to rebuild happiness with Beth!

Why does any of this old business matter?  Because as the old adage says, ‘everything old is new again’.  Katie took Bill Spencer home this past week to show him the neighborhood she grew up in and whaddya’ know?    The Logan girls were middle class like much of the show’s viewing audience.  They grew up in a loving home.  They were close and cared for one another and were open and loving to all  – so much so that Caroline Spencer didn’t want to leave the loving Logan home while recovering from rape.  (Day One fans will realize that the new ‘old Logan home’ is significantly larger than the former ‘old Logan home’, but hey, that’s all about creative license).  What’s clear is that the writers have put Stephanie’s tiresome screed in perspective.

Stephanie’s lack of perspective, and lack of humanity, is what has driven the conflict with the Logan family.  There has been no ‘war’ between the Logans and the Forresters.  There never was.  There was Stephanie Douglas  and her handmaiden, Taylor Hayes, on one side;  the Logans and the Forresters  have been on the other side.  While I still couldn’t give a crap about Katie and Bill as a couple (and care even less for the idea of  Steffy ‘trash from the  Hills’  Forrester coming between them), the one benefit of this couple has been watching the writers use them to show the side of the Logan clan so many fans have always loved about them.

Add an Image

The rebuilding of the Logan clan has been slow going, but is paying off for the show!  Donna returned, but as a tool to sell the writers’ vision of Bridge love vs. brICK lust.  Donna began with focusing on the epic love between Brooke and Ridge and hoping to help Brooke realize that there was something wrong with her relationship with Nick.  In the end, Donna was right.  It was a marriage that lasted 10 weeks, but had done grave damage to Brooke’s relationship with Bridget in the process, and damage to the viewers’ relationship with Brooke, as well.  Before Brooke ended her disastrous relationship with nick, Donna decided to move in on Ridge (near-fatal mistake number 1).  RealDonna Logan gave up a man she loved for her sister, Katie, when they were younger.  She would never have become involved with her sister’s one true love).   When Ridge ended up dumping Donna, Nick then became Donna’s champion.  Donna believed that Nick was the ‘better man’ and tried to sell Brooke on her new philosophy (near-fatal mistake number 2).  Donna was willing to try to sell her sister on a man she (Brooke) didn’t love to soothe her own sense of rejection and betrayal.

It made Donna instantly unlikable to a significant portion of the viewing audience.   Her behavior was untrue to her Logan heritage. It was as untrue to the legacy of these women as Katie’s betrayal of Bridget, by sleeping with Nick (near fatal mistake number 3).  The Logan girls sacrificed for one another their entire lives.  They were willing to give up people they loved, rather than hurt one another.  Donna, the real Donna, would never have pushed Brooke in the direction of a man like Nick, one who’d betrayed Brooke (her sister) and Bridget (her niece).   Neither would Katie.   That’s all done now, and the Logan girls are back, their bond is stronger than ever, and Stephanie’s ridiculously hateful tirades have been put in perspective.  These girls from the valley aren’t ‘trash’, nor are they ‘sluts’, or any other foul thing that Stephanie’s small mind can conjure to call them.  They are the Logan girls, the Logan women, and they always will be.

Speaking of the Logan Bond

Let’s hope that now that the pseudo-incest storylines are over and the Logan women are no longer fighting for the lust of the same men, now that all are happy and in love with the men they were meant to be with (for now, on Katie and Donna’s parts) that all three remember the younger member of their clan who’ll need their support.  Bridget has just embarked on a journey toward reclaiming motherhood that will be a rougher ride that even she imagined.  She’s going to need the support of her tough as nails mother and aunts.  Much like the insta-romance that takes place on this show, so goes the insta-surrogate storylines.

You’d think that given their past losses, that Bridget and Nick would want to take more time to get to know their chosen surrogate.  How about spending a month or tow observing her habits?  How about double and triple checking her references?  Hiring several PIs to investigate her past, hoping one would find information the others haven’t?  This woman will carry the most precious part of the both of them, a child they’ve wanted and into whom they will pour every bit of love they have – along with the love they’re pouring into Nick’s son Jack.  So what’s the rush!?!?!

Taking a little more time, they would have learned that Carly Corinthos’ Sandy Sommers’  has such a jones for snack foods that even when pregnant it’s her preferred form of  ‘nutrition’.  They might learn that Carly Sandy, is a bit of a schemer and feels that others have far too much of what she wants – that she deserves more.  They’d learn that her change in hair color is probably an indication of bad  things to come – that’s one hand I wouldn’t want rocking my child’s cradle!  They’d probably learn that the ‘minor deceits’ she’s capable of now are indications of ‘major deceits’ to come later.

It’s hard to believe that anyone who has a much money as the Logan/ Forrester-Marone clan is supposed to have would be a little more jaded.  Nick was suspicious of Owen, to the point of trying to destroy him, but almost completely trusts a woman he doesn’t know to carry his seed?  Doesn’t Sandy give off the scary ‘Deacon Sharpe’ vibe to anyone else?  She’s almost immediately ingratiated herself into Bridget’s life, befriending her and wanting her trust.  In return?  Nick and Bridget are giving her their child to carry.  Only one word can truly express my feelings about this storyline and that word is UGH!!!!!!!!!  (ok, no so much a ‘word’, but an expression!)  It’s hard to believe how quickly this storyline has moved.

The writers have done a great job showing us that Bridget and Nick live in their own world, that they aren’t tied to his past indiscretions, his slimeball move of sleeping with her mother and her aunt.  I get it.  I  just think that it’s now time to show that Bridget and Nick can live in the same world with Katie and Brooke, with no problem.  Let the Logan women pull together and figure out Sandy’s game plan… and then let them beat her at it.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea for Sandy to have an unexpected ally, someone who might be motivated to keep “Nicket” busy while she makes moves toward stealing back custody of Jack… TAYLOR!  Taylor and Sandy could form a destructive bond, much like the bond Taylor has with Steffy.

There’s something about the two women that suggests that they could be good friends and partners in hell-raising.    Taylor, who has lost Phoebe in this past year, watched Steffy become a scheming man-eater (after having been pulled into taylor’s earlier plans to scheme to get Ridge back), Tommy became a car bomber, and Ridge made it clear that Brooke is and always has been the love of his life.  Why wouldn’t she want Jack back?  Why wouldn’t she be fed up with watching everyone else be happy, and not her? Why wouldn’t she engage in the twisted logic she’s known for and think that it’s unfair that Bridget and  Nick would get to keep ‘her’ child and have their own?  Taylor could secretly help Sandy push Bridget over the edge, petition for and be granted custody of, Jack –  as Sandy makes a move on Nick.  Both would fail in the end, but it could be fun watching them try to ruin the lives of other and watch the Logans band together to stop them.

There will still be room left for Sandy after that!  There’s always Brooke’s golden boy, Rick.  Rick (like his niece Steffy) has a knack for becoming involved with the one person who’ll bring the most discord into his family’s life.  Sandy fits the bill pretty nicely.

Oh AMC writers, did you have to?

Soapgod knows I already hated Ryan “godofallwomenifonlyinmyownhead” Lavery, but you had to throw Reese in there too?  Let’s for one moment ignore:

1.  that Reese thought it was ok for a married man to impregnate her girlfriend without telling his wife (her girl’s sister).

2.  that she betrayed Binks with Zach and left her feeling insecure.

3.  that she even thought of leaving Binks and their daughters behind to return to Europe

4.  that she had a fiance she hid from Binks.

5.  that she snarks on Kendall as if KENDALL  has done something wrong.  She thinks Kendall hates her just because of the way she looks at her.  HA!  I look at her that way too!  I wonder if it’s possible for soap characters to catch viewers’ reflected images through the screen?  EH!  Of course not… but for a moment, I thought maybe Reese was mistaking the disgust viewers’  faces must show every time she dumps on Binks or Kendall to excuse her inappropriate relationship with Zach.

6.  Reese’s ridiculous overreaction to her mother asking if two of the guests at the bridal shower were also lesbians.  Mother Willians was curious, and she was smiling and laughing at the playful affections between the two friends.  Reese, in essence, created the picture of a robe-and-hood wearing bigoted mother who hates all others different from herself.  It’s too bad that her mother only smacked her once.  I wanted her to give Reese a slap from me, too.

Oh Reese, projection much, dear?  Worried that your mother is uncomfortable with you identifying as a lesbian, though she loved you enough to put her issues aside in order to be at the shower supporting you?

WHO, exactly, is uncomfortable with your identification as a lesbian?  Ah, that’s right, YOU are.  It’s why you keep swapping saliva with your bride’s brother-in-law.  To hear Reese whine that ‘those people’ make her question who she is is pretty much akin to nails on a chalkboard.  Maybe in her world ‘those people’ is actually code for ‘MY ACTIONS’.  Darlin’, it’s impossible for ‘those people’ to make you forget who you are.  You NEVER had an idea who you were/are/is/whatevah.

Even if we could forget all of that, is there any hope of salvaging this character?  Is there anything left to her, other than her fabulously talented portrayer, Tamara Braun?  Is it time to kill this one off and bring her back as her far more likable twin sister?  Too often used?  I see what you mean. 

It’s time for Annie to pull a two-fer, Ryan and Reese… Tamara Braun could turn up as a long lost Zacchara cousin… Could fans stand to have three of the four actresses who’ve played ‘Carly Corinthos’ on screen together?  I’m willing to give it a shot if it means we get rid of Reese!

GH – Robin Scorpio, Welcome Home

What’s that, you say?  Robin has been home for years now?  No, dear readers, only Robin’s body has been showing up on screen every day.  The REAL Robin Scorprio is finally back home and she’s now part of ABC’s bid to become the Anti-SoapFather network.  OLTL’s Starr Manning has told her ‘baby’s daddy’ that he’s treating her fetus as if it’s HIS family.  Now GH’s Robin is actively fighting to take away Patrick’s right to see his child because he was unsure of being a father in the first place, something he told her he wasn’t ready for, long before she became pregnant.

The Robin who’s given Patrick hell over seeing his child?  THAT’S the real Robin, as far as I’m concerned.  Is Robin treating Patrick’s fears about becoming a father as a personal rejection?  Most likely.  It’s in Robin’s history, and her nature, to do so.  Robin has a sordid history when it comes to infants and their fathers.

Some of you may recall that Robin revealed the truth about Michael Corinthos’ paternity when he was just an infant.  Why?  According to Robin, it’s because she felt that AJ had the right to know that HE, not his brother Jason, was Michael’s biological father.  That would have made sense and not seemed so self-deluding if the scenes just before Robin’s ‘attack of conscience’ weren’t of her and Carly arguing about who should raise Michael.  Robin felt that she and Jason were best suited to care for him, since they were a couple and weren’t as ammoral as Carly – yes, despite Jason’s role as a mob hitman.

Carly, being Carly, scoffed at the idea and taunted Robin by telling her that Jason would also be bonded to the two of them (Carly and Michael) and that there was nothing she could do about it.   Carly was wrong, Robin’s next move was to call Aj.  She effectively made sure that Jason could not and would not be Michael’s father.  If she couldn’t have Jason and Michael to herself, there would be no need for Jason to raise that child.

That was the day I began to despise Robin and didn’t care if she ever graced the screen again, until Patrick!  For me, Robin hadn’t redeemed herself, Patrick made her tolerable.  That poor, dumb, hot-as-hell, bastard!  If only he’d known about Robin’s past – or at least known the full story.   I know that many GH fans have fond memories of Robin as a child, but she lost her ‘cute quotient’ for me shortly after she began dating Jason.  The shrill, self-righteous, moralizing woman some of you see now, as she attempts to cut Patrick out of his child’s life, is the Robin I’ve been annoyed by for years to come.

Believe it or not, I’m glad the issue was resolved without a court ruling,  and that Patrick and Robin found their way back to one another.  I like Patrick, and not just because he has abs you can eat off of, but because he’s honest -even if you don’t like hearing what he has to say.  What a rarity for daytime males.  I also like Patrick because he’s not afraid of saying to Robin what others have been either too afraid to say or too reverent and all-worshipping to say to her – she’s a pain in the ass who sits in judgment of others far too often!  I like Patrick because as much as I don’t want to, he gives me a reason to want to like Robin again.  Well done, Patrick, well done.