RHOBH: Kyle Richards, my new reality TV bad-ass housewife fave!

For me, the “Real Housewives of…” series has become an interesting study in the de-evolution of women who, at one time, must have considered themselves rich, powerful, or at least in control of their lives in some way.  Women who started out having conversations about their children, marriages, and power business moves in earlier seasons later behaved as if they were auditioning for positions with the World Wrestling Entertainment organization! Marvelous?  That is left to be decided by individual viewers.  I only know that I’m more fascinated by the transformation, than the hot mess that comes along with it.

Each episode I expect the housewives to stand just a little farther apart from one another, just in case a random slap, kick, or hair pull takes place.  If I lived with the RHOA, RHONJ, or RHOM crews, I’d walk around in a suit of armor (in the event that someone broke through my line of bodyguards).  These three franchises are, in my unscientific review of prior seasons, the three which are most likely to break out in a physical fight no matter what the location or seriousness of the event.  They put the “K’ in Klassy!  For RHONY and RHOC – I’d carry aspirin and earplugs – the screeching and verbal intimidation would be enough to push me over the edge.  Sure, they spell classy with a “c”, but my guess is that while they can spell it correctly they can’t define – pardon the few exceptions in each franchise. (I hope we get to a point where none of the RH of any franchise uses the word “class”. I am of the Anderson Cooper school of thought, if you’re using the word and not referring to your children in school – then you shouldn’t be using the word at all.)

RHOBH is a completely different animal.  Even with the introduction of Brandi Glanville, most of the RHOBH have maintained their dignity and not fallen too far over the Bravo cliff.  There have certainly been tense moments and raised voices in Beverly Hills, but the larger Beverly Hills game seems to be stealth set ups, angry aggressive glares and angry confessional interviews talk.  VIEWER.HEAVEN.!

Kyle Richards has become my new fave RHOBH housewife.  She is working on becoming my fave RH, across franchises!  Of sure, she is not living her life to make me or any other viewer happy, I get that, and it’s what makes her pure GOLD this season.  While some housewives are trapped by the cycle of drunken debauchery and permanent snark (fun within limits), Kyle opened the door to the life she seems to live outside of the show. While Carlton Gebbia dreams of Kyle (or has premonitions, intuition, and other psychic connections), Kyle is busy hosting a fundraiser with Jamie Lee Curtis.  Brandi Glanville is breaking her hand, Kyle Richards is turning that broken hand into psychological insights and emotional breakthroughs for Brandi.  Yolanda Foster is pruning lemon trees, Kyle is snarking Carlton’s bitter nasty attacks into comedic GOLD!

I honestly expected Kyle to let it all go when Kyle began ranting during Mauricio and Ken’s joint birthday party (Klassy move, Carton).  Kyle tried keeping the peace with Carlton all season.  Instead of expressing her displeasure with the constant “tits on an ant” attacks, she unloaded on Carlton during the confessional interviews.  The worm turned at the dinner party.  Kyle refused to allow Carlton to spew odd accusations that she’d been attacking her.  She did not save her displeasure for the confessional, well done.  It seems, to me, that rather than confront Carlton directly, the other housewives have turned away and ignored her actions for the sake of a false peace (Yolanda in the lemon grove with the women, painting lovely pictures for her daughter while Carlton ruined that moment with antagonistic talk).  I knew Carlton was in trouble then.  Yolanda tried to ignore her and the BFF/crush Brandi thought Carlton was a bit over the edge.

Given rumored fan frustration with Carlton, I am happy to hear more of the HWs speaking out about her actions (Brandi in particular).

Tonight, I’m preparing to watch the Brawl of Shame, Part II, as I’m watching, I’ll be thinking about the snarkfest coming my way with the RHOBH and it will dull the pain RHOA will surely bring, even if only just a little.

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RHOBH: I’m sorry, I tried

RHOBH_KimKyle

I have been trying to write a summary for the RHOBH since the show aired. Not.Easy.Folks.  Not easy.  What did I love? Hands down,  Kim Richards made the show for me.  With warm regards to the rest of the show, each time I sat down,  the closest I got to writing a review was this…. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  I fell asleep TWICE— TWICE!  I have the show on DVR, and I just can’t make myself watch it.  What you read below is based on what I remember:

For all of the criticism poor Kim gets, on and off screen, the thing I have always loved about her is that she seems to have a good heart.  It has always separated her from the rest of the group for me.  Watching Kim, who is typically fragile and withdrawn from the wives, at the signing gig was a thing of joy to behold  (and, yes, I was a huge Hello Larry Fan! You may openly mock me, now.)  I was impressed by the touching way she genuinely and tenderly embraced her fans.  Some actors don’t mind mocking their fans as a little creepy, obsessed, odd, whatever.   Not Kim.  It saddened me to think that the admiration from her fans may be the most consistent unconditional support she has received (outside of the love of her children).  Somehow, Kim has managed to hang on to a pretty healthy fanbase who remember the sweet-eyed girl with a life more tragic than anyone would have suspected.

Despite her past issues with her sister Kyle, I think the sisters have been magic together on screen lately.  Did I want to bear witness to Kyle’s waxing session in the episode before? No.  Was it worth it to see Kyle and Kim behave like giddy children together?  Ok,yes.  I’m never sure who has the most accurate memory of their childhood, but if I’m guessing, the truth is somewhere in the middle.  It appears to me that the sisters adored each other then and adore each other now.  Bonus points for Kim and Aunt Kyle for utterly horrifying Kim’s daughter, Kimberly, with their regressive banter about “tweeters”.  They were like 14 year olds in the salon, and young Kimberly looked as if she would have sold an appendage to be anywhere but in that salon with them.  Well done!  It was one of the most genuine  family moments we’ve seen on the show.   That warmth and love in this family comes through now (and for me as a viewer, that wasn’t always the case).  If it’s true that she’s going through deeply troubling times, I wish Kim Richards well.  I hope that she and her family recover and that she  gets to find the happiness she seems to enjoy bringing to others.  The most recent scenes between the sisters are the scenes that help me let go of the limo take down by sister Kyle seasons before.  Those scenes help me RHOBH_KimKyle2ignore the  disapproving glances that seem to breed massive insecurity in Kim when sister Kathy is around.  It gives me hope that there is a chance for a real life for a former child star whose fame helped support a family, but did little to help her survive a world that can be both loving and cruel.

I hope that some day, soon, Kim will find someone she loves, who will love her unconditionally – someone who will be  a fighter at her side in what will surely be a lifelong battle for sobriety.  Some find money.  Some find fame. Some find love. Some find it all.  I wish for love and happiness for Kim and whatever  wonderful life comes with that.

As for the rest of it?

Yolanda?  I just can’t.  Her gift to her daughter was touching and thoughtful.  I’ll leave it at that. Oh, ok, one more thing… is it just me or does King David seem to be less than amused by Brandi’s potty mouth?  I think I’m starting to like that guy!

Brandi?  I just won’t.  I refuse to fill my beautiful mind with thoughts of Brandi, today.  I see sunshine outside my window. Catch me another day.

Carlton?  Why, Bravogods, WHY?  Tell me what I have to sacrifice to get you to dump her from this show (fattened cow, favorite jeans, peanut butter cookie habit)?  I’ll do it, no problem!

Either the editing monkeys are playing fast and loose with audience, or Kyle thinks about Carlton as often as I do … which is almost never.  I am irritated by the feeling that two Carlton Gebbias show up to every scene.  The first Carlton sets the wives up to say something stupid.  “I’ll put a hex on you”, from Carlton becomes,  “Did you put a hex on me?”,  from one of the wives.  The second Carlton swoops in and accuses the women of slandering a religion I’m not sure she even understands.  Carlton2 then declares war on the sandbagged housewife who dared ask the questions Carlton1 implicitly and explicitly prompted her to ask.

I’ll retract at least one statement I made earlier.  I can’t bring myself hurt a living thing so the cow is out.  I will preemptively burn my jeans and not buy another peanut butter cookie until news of the next season’s cast is announced.  If that woman returns, I will accept the fact that I was a real ass in my past life, take it as my punishment, and learn to fast forward any scene she’s in, or move on to a new show.

Make that, move on to a new show.  Even I couldn’t have been that big of an ass!

 

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