AMC – It’s like she never left

I was on ‘Babe’ overload about ten minutes after the character arrived.  Every day after that was slow and painful torture.  I won’t say that I ‘celebrated’ her death, let me just say that I didn’t mourn the charcter’s passing and it was mere coincidence that I was eating chocolate and drinking my favorite tea during Babe’s death scenes. 

I thought I would finally get  MY AMC back, with Babe gone. That AMC characters spent MONTHS after the death of St. Babe trying to convince the audience that she was a gift from the soapgods raised my hackles, but I took it in stride.  St. Babe was DEAD, I wouldn’t have to worry about hearing her name for too much longer… or so I thought.

In walks  Shadow-of-Babe.  You know her as “Marissa”.  I think  of her as the bane of my existence.  It’s not the fault of the actress.  Brittany Allen is quite a find for AMC and would be a joy in any other role – for me at least.  The trouble stems from the fact that fans like me will now have to keep flipping the channel every time  we hear a new reference to ‘Babe’ or see Marissa’s face… And then there are the Babe related questions:  “Why was she chosen to stay?  Why did you love her and not me?  Was I not pretty enough?   Did I cry too much?” (Ok, I’ll admit I stuck around long enough to hear that little confrontation and almost felt bad for Marissa).  Outside of that one scene, I just don’t care to hear ANY of it. I don’t wnat to see an angry Marissa, or a young woman with low self-esteem because her twin was so beautiful, brilliant, and beloved… BULL.

I have no doubt that with these series of confrontations  between Shadow-of-Babe and Krystal, we’ll be asked to re-live the ‘Tales of Babe the Magnificent’.  We’ll have to hear on a daily basis how kind and loving she was.  Angels will sing and the heavens will open.  While that’s happening?  My belly will be sore from relieving itself of its contents.  My head will be sore knowing that there is no relief from this storyline. 

Maybe it’s already aired, I can’t tell you because I refuse to watch Shadow-of-Babe and Krystal, but it’s doubtful that Marissa will be treated to the “Tales of Babe the Loser’… the woman who had a one night stand in short order of coming home to her husband’s family, the woman who thought she might have been pregnant by her husband’s brother, the woman who knew she’d been raising her best friend’s child – a stolen child – and kept the secret, the woman who cheated though she’d been forgiven for cheating before… ARGH… Just typing that makes me want to throw shoes at the screen, again.

I just find it hard to believe that Krsystal missed Babe terribly, and never thought to tell anyone about Marissa.

I refuse to believe that she left Tad AND David in the dark.

I refuse to believe that the writers think that of all the AMC characters fans would care about if they returned (HUH HEM… Brooke English) that they believed that we would give a wit about yet ANOTHER child for David and Krystal.  Apparently, fans’ ferverent disgust over David and Krystal’s attempts to raise ‘Little A’ (David more than Krystal) looked more like ‘extreme interest’ to the writers so they decided up the ante and give them another  adult daughter -also  involved with JR.

There’s so much I WANT to see happen on AMC… Unfortunately, NONE of it will happen because the writers seem to have decided that killing Babe off was a mistake and they had to ‘start over’ with the Shadow-of-Babe.  What IS it with ABC soaps?  First Emily-Rebecca (Remily), now Babe-Marissa (Bissa)?  Could things get worse!??! (Yeah, rhetorical question… given what’s happening, I know that things CAN and WILL get worse).  At least this one isn’t an identical twin as in the Remily case.

Sorry writers but I can’t stick around waiting  for the other shoe to drop.  AMC is more OFF than ON my viewing schedule, for now at leastt.

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Ok…I’ll play, All My Children

It’s interesting how the slightest bit of dialogue can divert a viewer like me into a place where she creates her own dialogue.  Last week, Kendall opened the door to Ryan-self-styled-god-of-all-men-gift-to-all-women Lavery.  He opened with the statement… “Am I…?”… how he finished that statement is a mystery to me, because immediately in my mind I envisioned Kendall completing that sentence with:

a tool?  Yes!

a boil on the ass of humanity?  Yes!

the man any woman would punish herself for waking up next to?  Yes!

a narcissistic son-of-a-bitch darkening the doorstep of all decent townfolk? You betcha’!

I spent much of the time following his opening statement continuing with a  list of what I thought of as appropriate responses to his query.  Unfortunately, by the time I woke up from the haze,  Zach was nuturing “poor Reese” and my stomach muscles gave way… making it possible for me to relive my lunch.  The next time some says “better going in than coming out”, I’ll know FIRSTHAND what they mean.

AMC has a curious problem.  Great characters, save a few, an incredible history, and like GH, probably one of the most recognizable soaps in daytime.  People who’ve never seen a daytime soap have probably heard of Erica Kane, the show’s signature diva.  They’ve at least heard of  Susan Lucci if they’re not sure of the character she plays.

So why the commitment to such SUCKAGE!?!??!

David and Krystal?  They WORK as a couple.  I don’t know why –  other than the fact that both are a little bit/whole lot sleazy and always seeking to prove to others that they’re not.  Maybe it’s that they’re both equally deluded about Babe’s status as a (once) living saint – that’s a lot of deluded thought between the two of them.    David and Krystal don’t need the added stupidity of trying to steal Little A away from JR (throw in a “Spike” here and a “Greens” there and the writers should really rethink the nicknames for their characters).  It’s tired, it’s old, and the idea that they have to wrest custody of  ‘precious’ away from ‘the Dark Lord Sauron” keeps me from tuning in more than a day or two at a time.  AMC is just too painful to watch!

I don’t know if the writers are intentionally playing this storyline for comedy but it’s working as comedy for me.  David, probably the biggest sociopath in AMC history,  is concerned about JR raising his grandson. Heaven forbid that JR only teaches the kid to drink excessively rather than how to slip drugs to unsuspecting women, among David’s other fine acts of ‘heroism’.  JR has had fits of madness on occasion, but he’s a damned better person than David has ever been.  And speaking of what once was:

The current show makes me long for:

  • the days when Brooke English and Erica Kane were chewing scenery in a knockdown drag out.  I think it’s time for Brooke tocome back, adding a bit of dignity to this show, and to have the upperhand on Erica.  It’s time!
  • the possibility of seeing anyone named Tyler!  I miss the Tyler’s and the expanded Martin clan.
  • Tom Cudahy.  I want him back full time as well.  What conflict would there be with Tom and Brooke remembering Laura, and his current relationship with Olivia (are they still together)?    Wouldn’t JR’s drinking storyline make more sense if he was mentored by someone who’d been there an survived alcoholism?
  • the days when AMC didn’t destroy it’s glorious ground-breaking history.  I’d accept any storyline to undo the unabortion.  There’s just NO WAY Erica’s child came back from an abortion, NO WAY.
  • Nina and Cliff (no need for Bobby to return).  I want them around either full time or visiting frequently.
  • Opal and Palmer on frontburner, and possibly Daisy making trouble in their lives, but not because she wants Palmer, but because she believes she’s entitled to half his estate and we find out she actually is!  Imagine some odd couple sistuation in which Daisy and her new love live with Opal and Palmer until the legal mess is resolved.
  • a reach back in AMC history.  I wonder if Devon an Lynn ever met up in another place, at another time.  Are they together, now?  Could they return to Pine Valley and have NEITHER of them fall in love with Zach or become pregnant by him?  By AMC standards, the lesbians like ‘the Zach’.  Apparently they have to work hard to resist him.
  • Where is Mark?  Shouldn’t Erica have more family around her now?  She’s lost so much, and stands to lose more the way this show is going.
  • Dixie!  I want her back with Tad.
  • An Erica romance.  I want Erica Kane Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Roy Roy Montgomery Montgomery Chandler Marick Marick Montgomery to find happiness, at last.  How could Eric possibly do better than to be with Jackson Montgomery?

In short, I pretty much want anything other than most of what’s airing now.