Checking for I.D. How old are you, again?

I’m sorry, BnB fans, but I’m pretty disgusted with the thought of daytime’s oldest swinging singles tease. I don’t give a fat rat’s happy backside about the tease with trudge (Taylor and Ridge…zzzzzzzzz)  and brICK (Brooke and nick… zzzzzzzzzz!)

The writers created several ‘test’ scenes with Ashley Jones’ Bridget and Brandon Beemer’s Owen last week and they were AMAZING.  Owen was fun and flirty FINALLY. He was with a woman who wouldn’t let him stick his tongue down her throat hours after meeting him.   His relationship with Donna has been tiring to watch  because it’s been a primarily physical relationship with so little emotional connection.  It’s what made Eric and Donna such a bore, as well.  Bridget was light, carefree, and gutsy during her lunch with Owen. She was relaxed for the first time in a long time.  There was an edge to both characters that left me wanting to see more.  So what have the writers offered, instead?

Midlife crises playing out all over screen. Hell, writers, I’m past all that!  Given the age of daytime’s audience, MOST of us have been through our own midlife crises.  We don’t want to see daytime characters, approaching fifty who don’t know that ‘Wife Swap’ is a television show, NOT a suggestion.  Bridget and Owen were remarkably fun and cute and yet the only thing heading toward the small screen is teasing for the sort of stuff that sent fans packing in the first place.

Can’t we have one couple that hasn’t slept with everyone in sight, without all the emotional baggage, and without half a dozen babies, or half a dozen misattributed babies, between them?

  • I’m not listening to Pat Benatar on cassette.
  • I’m no longer stunned at the sight of a DeLorean (well, yeah, I am, but because I can’t believe it’s possible for the car to still be around).
  • My hair has grown out.
  • No Michael Jackson videos.
  • Flashdance is just a bad memory
  • ‘Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis’ no longer makes me laugh

So why do I feel like I’m being dragged back into the 80s – early 90s with each ‘new’ BnB storyline?  Brooke and prick, Ridge and Taylor?  No to Brooke and Nick you say?  I’m there with you, and don’t see it happening, especially not if Katherine Kelly Lang’s last interview with TV & Satellite Week is any indication:

Do you think this might lead Brooke back into Nick’s world romantically?

I think that seems to be where the writers are headed. They share a child and that is a very strong bond. Since, Brooke is mothering Jack, she is spending a lot of time with Nick and one thing could lead to another.

How do you feel about the fact that Brooke might get close to Nick who has just betrayed her daughter, Bridget?

See that’s the thing I want for Brooke. I want her to put her children first, much like Taylor does. I cannot imagine a woman even sharing the same room with a man who has cheated on her daughter but Brooke thinks with her heart and sometimes makes unwise choices because she leaps before she looks. The fact that there is a child involved now (Jack), does change things a lot too.

If you were to pick a man for Brooke to settle down with, whom would you pick?

Brooke has spent most of her life being in love with Ridge. I do not see any man replacing him in her heart. So, I would say Ridge but God only knows who she will be calling her destiny tomorrow.

If there is a storyline that you want to enact as Brooke, what would it be?

There’s so much that Brooke can do besides jumping from one relationship to another. Unfortunately, that is all she has been doing for years now and I am tiring of it. I mean she is nearing 50, has four beautiful children and is with the man she has wanted to be with all her life; so you would think she would settle down already. There are days when I read the script and groan because Brooke is supposed to be saying the exact opposite of what she just uttered a week back. There is no consistency at all. I would like some of that. A 180 change on a daily basis just leaves the character with no credibility.

It would be harder to watch Brooke return to Nick after he’s betrayed Bridget yet AGAIN.  This time around, he got her dying ‘best friend’/Aunt pregnant.  The guy didn’t let Bridget’s side of the bed get cold before he was back into it with her Aunt.   Bridget was smart to get out when she could.

The Unkindest Cut of All

Taylor, REALLY?  You’re going to blackmail Brooke, trade her your ex-husband for her son.  Rick Forrester is the only man who has ever loved Taylor and ONLY Taylor.  He’s the only man who has ever put her first and fought all others to defend her.  Rick is the only man who hasn’t treated Taylor like a stand by.  This is how she repays him?  She might remember that when she was drunk, destructive, and hopeless, Ridge told their son, Thomas, that Taylor’s problems weren’t any of his business any more.

Taylor nearly had a psychological breakdown trying to keep Ridge from Brooke when they were married.  Ridge left their marital bed to travel to find Brooke while she was in EUROPE, because he sensed that she needed him – and he shared no children with her at that time.  She wants to trade Rick for Ridge?  Will it happen?  it’s doubtful, but if it does, she’ll deserve every moment of unhappiness she gets.

By the way, writers, if you’re not going to use Rick, why not send him away and bring back Dante (recast if necessary) and give us Felicia and Dante, and a HAPPY Bridget and Owen?  Without them, I see myself fast forwarding the full half hour, or probably not bothering to tape the show. I love the BnB for caring for it’s vets and putting them onscreen.  Most shows’ writers and EPs seem to have forgotten that there were beloved characters rockin’ their respective shows before they even arrived.   Not the BnB!  Veterans reign supreme (for the most part).  Much of the time that’s a blessing.  There are times when it’s just a curse, and this is one of them.

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Lightening rarely strikes twice

BnB- Gifts from the Logan women to Bridget

  • A half eaten sandwich
  • An empty perfume bottle
  • Used underwear (worn ONCE, on Catalina Island)
  • The last oreo in the bag
  • A child created between her husband and yet another of her female Logan relatives! 

You can just imagine how she looks forward to the holidays. Katie is a heart patient, in recovery, and now pregnant, and yet that hasn’t stopped me from wondering how Bridget refrained from dragging her sorry ass out of the house by her hair and kicked her butt to the curb, right next to that loser husband of hers.  Her aunt and husband so richly deserve one another.

I’d become more sympathetic to Katie, recently, though not necessarily supportive.  Telling Bridget that she probably wouldn’t live past the child’s birth and wanted her (Bridget) and Nick (Bridget’s husband) to raise her child made my hair stand on end.  WOW!  Now that takes nerve.  Katie, don’t do Bridget any favors!

BRAVA to Bridget for standing strong!

I’ve been incredibly worried that the writers would have Bridget cling to the prick she married, and put all the blame on her aunt/”best friend” for HIS infidelities.  NO SIR!  Bridget Forrester kicked butt and took names when she was done!  Nick got a beat down, followed by Katie.  The only reaction that disappointed was Brooke’s.  She slapped Katie, and coddled Nick, who’d betrayed her daughter yet again!  What a waste.

 Guiding Light – Uh… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! 

If you heard screaming, crying, and the horrible gnashing of teeth, just let me say that I’m sorry.  It was hard to control myself.  Dinah kissing GRADY?  GRADY the attempted rapist?  Grady the murderer?  Grady the con man?  Grady the utter and total liar? 

SURE, the rumors are out there that Tom Pelphrey has signed with an ABC soap, so what’s the GL reaction?  Seemingly, it’s to recreate the “Jonah” magic (Jonathan/Dinah) magic by having Dinah involved with a Jonathan Randall look-a-like?  Jonathan was a bad boy writers, NOT a low life (ok, not as BIG a low life).  Sorry, but this is another non-starter.  Oh GL writers, why?  Why torture us?  You continue to whiz away fans’ hopes for the return of favorite characters and actors and when that fails – give us the ‘b’ version.  Ok, well that makes sense.  Grady and Dinah will NEVER deliver like Jon and Dinah ( his Dinah-mite)

If you have to give us anything, can you give us Dinah all on her own?  She effin’ rocks!

If you’re longing for the glory days of GL, check out the GL memories blogspot by clicking HERE!  The GL clips from the early years of show are the best!

The Era of the Smart Woman is Over

Right about now, you’re probably asking when the era of the smart woman began in daytime.  I don’t blame you.  Daytime writers seem to have an aversion to consistently smart women!

DOOL:  Marlena doesn’t get it?  Has John left her so damaged that ANY man who shows her some attention is a man she’s willing to spend time with, these days?  Let it go, Marlena, let it go.  I’d rather see her return to Roman than spend one more minute with Max’s father.

OLTL:  Blair.  What IS it about women and John McBain?  He does that thing, the thing that says, “I’ll sleep with you, but don’t count on me being around when you wake up…”  Somehow, that translates into some bizarre desire to sing a ballad to the man.  Blair, remember Evangeline?  Sure you do… she’s the last woman who sang to John.  He made her so miserable she had to run from him.  You’re on borrowed time, kid.  You might want to consider focusing more on your daughter’s pregnancy than John’s ego.  Something good will come from Starr’s pregnancy. Nothing good will come from waiting for John to lighten up and give a damn about anything.  The more morose man in daytime is the man every woman who’s crossed his past inexplicably falls in love with, and I just don’t get it.

Tina Lord was born a schemer.  Who in the world believes that she would willing walk into a room with a lock on the OUTSIDE of the door (yeah, big HUGE freakin’ lock) and allow herself to be trapped inside?  Poor David Vickers, the dog… he’s locked inside with Tina and unless that place is stocked with puppy pads, things are going to get ugly.

BnB – Brooke Logan.  WHY, writers, WHY?  Why not just have Katie and Brooke battle it out about which of them betrayed Bridget most?  Why didn’t Katie ask how Brooke could be so disgusted by the fact that she slept with Nick when Brooke did it too, after knowing that Bridget was in love with the man, still, and after having slept with Bridget’s first husband too!

Katie could have gotten her zinger in and Brooke would have been able to offer her own comeback… Clearly, she is guilty of having slept with daughter’s first AND second husbands – having children with each.  The problem is that given her past, her disgust with Katie, without explanation, just makes her look crazy.

Brooke’s retort to Katie could have included a confession of her own past, and that she’s still trying to deal with the guilt of being with men she didn’t love and trading her daugther’s heart in, in the process.  She could have told Katie that she’s disgusted with her actions because she’s been there, and when the dust settles, that one careless moment was never worth what it cost Bridget.  She could have shared with Katie that she knows what pain she’s caused Bridget in the past, she’s atoned for it.  Brooke promised Bridget that she would never hurt her again, never thinking she’d have to protect her daughter against her own sister. 

Give Brooke SOMETHING to say that makes it clear that she’s a woman who’s grown and learned from her past actions, not just treat her as a woman who could hate her own actions, when they’re committed by other people.  That would make her the same sort of hypocrite she’s fought against all these years – most especially when she’s fought back agains Stephanie, Taylor, and even dear departed Macy.

Guiding Light – Harley.  <sigh>  Do the writers hate the viewers that much?  Maybe, in some wild backstage fantasy, the writers are thinking that they can stick it to Beth Ehlers one last time by destroying what’s left of the character she originated, who knows?  In what universe would Harley leave her family, uproot her youngest children, and abandon her oldest child, one she gave up once before?  It was bad enough when she ran off with her daughter’s boyfriend to protect him from being prosecuted of a crime he actually committed.  Now she’s leaving her vulnerable (and incredibly stupid) daughter in the hands of a unrepentant criminal who’d already lead Daisy down the primrose path before, involving her in drug use and being an unwitting accomplice in her own cousin’s death.  IF the writers think they’re sticking it to BE, newsflash, you’re sticking it to the fans even more.  We’re the ones still left to tune out the show.  Please keep that in mind.

What’s next?  We’ll find out that Gus had six wives in addition to Natalia?

Phillip Spaulding is a pimp?

Vanessa Lewis sews fur coats from puppy fur?

C’mon writers.  Trying to kill off the last loving menory of one of GL’s strongest women in the history of the show is petty, and beneath the dignity of this show.  We deserve better.  Your time would be better spent trying to figure out how many times Reva’s undergone menopause and how it’s possible for her to be pregnant, again.

You can’t come back from this one, unlike the weak and laughable recovery of YnR writers who’d forgotten that Victor had a vasectomy when they wrote the pregnancy storyline for his child bride.  No ‘secret reversal’ explanation will help you this time.  Her meds kicking her period on for a month, after menopause?  That’s your explanation?  After the hefty drugs, radiation, and every other treatment Reva received prior to and after her near death?  Wow. 

Is it any wonder that so many GL fans have begun a campaign to save the show?  CLICK HERE to find threads linked to the ‘Cry for Change’ campaign, among others.

OLTL -BnB – YnR: Rebellion of the Mini Mustaches

The Young and the Restless

— FINALLY!!!  There’s something for the Newman children to do besides cower and tremble at the feet of the great roaring lion, Victor Newman himself!  Victoria’s takeover of Newman? Brilliant!  Forcing Adam out of the top position AND off the Newman ranch?  PRICELESS!   Who knew Victoria had it in her?  Doesn’t she know that the great man, himself, will tear her limb from limb for daring to disobey daddy dearest?  Sure, there’s always the possiblity, but why should she care?  Adam is a bigger problem for the Newman legacy, right now, than Victor will be.

This battle between the mini-mustaches is a must see!  The devil is in the details, so I love the subtle justification for Victoria’s leadership by having her force Adam to prove just how little he knows about the people Newman does business with and how little he knows about the company.  Kudos to the writers for not only having Victoria take over, but for making her a competent and tough-as-nails CEO to boot.  Adam has a lot to learn from his big sister – not that it will matter to him.  Surely he’s plotting his return to power.  Let’s hope this battle continues.  What would the mustache, himself, do if he was around? Revel in his children’s battles.  Being the child of the great man is a bloodsport, after all.

— Both of Michael’s parents are criminals?  He and Kevin never had a shot.  It’s hard to remember the old Michael (and to some degree the old Kevin).  The writers are probably not going to touch the history of these two brothers but they have done a good job of implicitly explaining how the Baldwin brothers becaming the men they once were. 

— Ana, Ana, Ana… I’m sick to death of hearing that kid sing but I love the Hamilton-Winters clan as it’s pulling together (I can pretend that Lily isn’t there whenever she’s on).  The family is fun, and sweet, and warm.  The interaction between Devon and Ana was so tender that it made me miss all the great family moments we’re no longer treated to in daytime (GL’s Bauer Barbeque, GH’s Nurses Ball and the families that come together).  The Hamilton-Winters family is wonderful addition to daytime.  I haven’t loved the Winters family this much since Drucilla was around.  I hope to see more of them. 

The Bold and The Beautiful

Is there NO END to the humiliation Nick and Katie are willing to put Bridget through?  Why couldn’t they have chosen a different hospital?  Why would they force Bridget to face her colleagues (and force them to face her) with the ugliness of their betrayal?  This is beginning to feel intentional on Nick’s part.  First he and Taylor use the same hospital Bridget works at for the in vitro, and now this?  Daytime writers are always claiming they’ll offer something not done before in the history of daytime.  I’m voting for daytime’s first castration storyline … with Nick Marone as the donor.  Nick ‘the Bobbit’ Marone?  It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Have all other hospitals in L.A. and nearby communities suddenly closed?  What’s the excuse for Nick’s behavior, THIS TIME?  Thank goodness the Bakers are on!  They’re a welcome distraction from the Nick and Katie horror. Besides:

Is anyone else  up for a Charlie/Bridget/Owen triangle?

One Life to Live

  • Clint making deals with Jared?  Planning to semi-welcome him into the family?
  • Clint, using poor Langston as ‘collateral damage’ in his war on Dorian?
  • Gigi immediately excusing Rex for sleeping with another woman just because she looked so much like her?
  • John in an administrative position?
  • Antonio being willing to risk making his child an orphan just to chase ‘true love’ (ok, this one doesn’t bother me as much as it should – love Antonio and Talia)

Who ARE these people?  Clint, especially, is unrecognizable. 

HOORAY to the OLTL writers for bringing the following to a close:

  • The time travel storyline.
  • Marty sitting in that bed 24 hours a day – let John find her, already!
  • Rex and Gigi’s separation.  It’s time for them to move forward.  Now end the paternity lie.
  • The Cole-Starr storyline (yeah, I know, it’s a pipe dream but I’m adding the end of this storyline to my wish list.  From the show’s current ratings, so are many of you!)

What I’m waiting for:

  • For everyone to SHUT UP telling Cole how evil and self-centered he is for mourning the loss of his child.  What’s the insanity taking place in Llanview that makes a responsible young man seem like a jerk for loving Starr’s ‘baby bump’?
  • Blair’s reaction to finding out that Marty is alive – and that John’s been dreaming about Marty, instead of her.
  • Natalie’s reaction to finding out that Tess has returned – will she and Jared feel an ounce of guilt?
  • Viki taking on Tess.
  • Todd stomping out Marcie’s insane obsession with Starr’s child.
  • Marcie’s reaction to learning that she’s lost Michael, who’s moved on, and Starr’s child (on the wish list).
  • Finally,  Clint – Dorian showdown… Oh YEAH!

The devil (in high heels) made him do it

I was torn between the above title and this one: “The Storyline We’re Still Waiting For”  (about Nick and Jackie Marone, that is).

Well played, BnB writers, well played!  I can’t imagine that there’s one Bridge Forrester fan out there who isn’t fuming right now, wondering if it’s wrong to want to a ficitional character to be castrated!  Nick Marone 0s certainly a deserving target, if it’s not.  The evidence, you ask?  If you’re not a BnB viewer, the man is talking about a one night stand he had with his wife’s aunt – one he’s been lying about since it happened:

How does the jerk wad follow that up?  With THIS (Thanks, TVMegasite, for the transcript):

Katie: I don’t care if it’s wrong. I can’t regret the fact that I’m having your baby.

Nick: Well, if it’s wrong, then I’m guilty, too.

Katie: You really mean that?

Nick: (Sighs) I’d be lying if I didn’t say this confused me at first. (Clears throat) you know, I–

Nick: It should have felt wrong to me, and it didn’T. And I should have feared all the complications that we now face, and I didn’T. I was wondering why. (Laughs) why? You know, when you were on that island sick, and I was there with you… (sighs) my prayer was that before you died, you’d know how I felt.

Can someone tell me how Katie, pimping a Bridget-Nick reunion to Nick, drinking scotch and putting a puzzle together, turned into a deep and abiding love between these two?  They’ve gone from a sibling-like relationship to soul mates in about two hours worth of scenes.  That’s moving incredibly fast, even for the BnB.  Hold on to your last meal, readers, you may lose it if you continue read on:

Nick: So now we’re there. And I hope that you can feel that I love you.

Katie: (Sniffles)

Katie: (Sighs)

Nick: I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.

Katie: You haven’T. You haven’T. I-I think you just said that you love me, and I– I love you, too. You must know that. That’s why this baby is so precious, is so important to me, because–because it’s yours. It’s ours. It’s the one thing I have that we share, and– only we can’T.

Nick: But we have to. This baby’s not going away. You know that.

Katie: (Sighs) but what about everything else–

Nick: No, no, no, no. No “buts” about it. Listen to me. This child was conceived in the most magical moment. And this baby is gonna be amazing. This child is gonna be so special and bring so much joy into the world, because of love, because it was conceived in the deepest, most honest form of love, and that’s what he’ll know.

Katie: I hear what you’re saying, and I know it’s true, and to hear those words coming out of your mouth– they bring me so much joy. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that I would hear you say those things to me. I feel like I’m dreaming. But I know I’m not. I know I’m gonna have to wake up. This is just all so confusing. I-I don’t know what I’m allowed to feel. I don’t know if I’m allowed to be happy or excited. Help me, nick. Help me. Because a part of me hates myself for this.

And then there’s this:

Katie: You’ve pledged your life to bridget.

Nick: I have.

Katie: And she deserves all of you.

Nick: She deserves to have the best of me, and if I can’t give her that–

Katie: You’re happy with her. I know. I’ve seen you together.

Nick: We are.

Katie: (Sighs) this is just so complicated.

The reason it would be hard for Bridget to have the ‘best’ of Nick is that there is no ‘BEST” of Nick.  There’s bad… worse… and what a freakin’ waste of human DNA (even fictional DNA)

The writers are still skimming the surface with this guy.  All of his emotions are shallow. He wants to be Ridge Forrester and possess all Ridge has (including his family’s company, the woman he loves, his children).  He’s just met Katie, and suddenly he’s deeply in love with her, to the point of denying Bridget – a woman he’s known and ‘loved’ for years.  The mother of his first child.  He mourned his dead child (Nicole) – in his words, but never mentioned her while in bed with the dead child’s grandmother shortly after Nicole was buried.  He loved Taylor more than he’d loved before, or so he led her to believe, and was back to chasing Brooke and leading a double life when it was revealed that hers was the donor of the egg used to conceive his child with Taylor.

Easy to see how the man made it to the top of the Manwhore list.  When does it END!?!?!?

If the BnB ever returns to what made daytime great there has to be some focus on the way the Marone family uses sex as a way of life.  Jackie explained that ‘pride’ made her turn to prostitution to raise her child, instead of working or going on welfare.  If Jackie was a woman with no skills and without an education, that might have made sense.  There has to be more to it.   I’m not sure if the devil in high heels is Jackie, whose DNA flows through the pants-dropper’s veins, or if it’s about Nick spewing of the insta-love-and-destiny bullcrap as a way of excusing his actions.  SHE! did it.  SHE! made him fall in love – that’s why he continues to betray the women who’ve loved him and given him their full hearts. 

LOSER!

Whatever it is this mother-son have in common, it’s hurtful and painful to the people around them.  They’ve spent more time justifying their sexually inappropriate behaviors (too numerous to name for non BnB viewers) than trying to understand them.  The superficiality is killing both characters, Nick more quickly than Jackie, obviously.

Sooner or later, writers will have to explain to fans what the point is of keeping Nick around.  Nick will surely drop trou for the next Logan-Forrester woman he spends five minutes alone with – it’s his nature.  What else is there for him to do?  The character has never fit in on canvas and every time the show was redirected (characters’ histories changed, couples’ histories changed, the show’s focus changed) to shoehorn him in, it resulted in a disaster in the ratings. 

I’d only thought I lost my patience with this character, before.  I KNOW I have now.  He’s on an endless loop of one night stands, and impregnating the show’s cast.   There’s nothing left to see here, writers.  Nothing left to see.  <sigh>