BnB: Voted Most Likely To…

Two months into the new year and I am already thinking about how  the current #boldandbeautiful plots will end.  In the past, that statement would have been an expression of my exasperation and desperation to see this show move forward.  Currently?  I can’t wait to find out which couples survive, and which plots turn into something bigger, something scarier,  or even something more tender!  The Bold and the Beautiful is, hands down, the best in daytime right now.  I am completely obsessed with this show (and the Walking Dead – so make of that what you will)!

By the end of the year, I expect to see the BnB yearbook for 2014 to read as follows:

Voted: Most Likely to Become a Misogynist – Liam Spencer

I’m confused by Liam’s dismay at Katie’s attraction to Ridge.  Neither of them is tied to other people.  Katie’s separation is legal (although it’s not clear to me how she holds Spencer stock since the writers continue to tell us that she is still married to Bill and that the stock offer was supposed to be part of a divorce settlement – part of a future plot twist or just a loose tie?).  Liam not only seemed to cheer on his father’s happiness, but chastised his brother, Wyatt, for daring to be outraged that their father finally had the chance to raise a child, as he was never around to raise them, and that Bill threw that chance away and traded his infant son’s happiness, feelings of safety and well-being, for the sake of another woman.

Liam, more than any of the males on this show, has viewed women as the playthings of the men they are intended to serve.  He is surprisingly sexist for such a young man.  A woman who serves him or his father can do no wrong.  A woman who fails to serve him or his father is evil, bad, deserves shaming.  Both women can engage in the exact same behavior for the same reasons – and it wouldn’t matter to this guy.  Liam’s actions make me think of the conversation he and Bill had about how doing something “nice” blew up in his face and Bill’s immediate reaction was “What have I told you about that?”.  It speaks to the shape of Liam’s character that his father is anyone he should want to emulate or seek advice from.  Bill Spencer is an old school bully and misogynist.  Liam is learning from a master.

No surprise, I imagine Liam to also be voted Most Likely to Rebound – no explanation necessary.

Voted: Most Likely to Succeed – Quinn Fuller

Taylor was such an abject failure as a psychiatrist.  All of the big moments seemed to escape her, but not others.  I’ve often wondered why Quinn wasn’t cast as a psychiatrist with a jewelry making son!  The writing for Quinn is so much better and psychologically nuanced, at times.  Pam only figured out what Quinn was up to, once Charlie spilled the truth about Wyatt and the Hope Diamond, but before that?  She had Pam eating out of the palm of her hand.  I’m assuming it was the left hand, because she already had Eric eating out of her right hand.

Quinn knows how to keep Donna at bay without firing a shot (as Stephanie would have, and I mean that literally – that battle ax was out on the edge).

Quinn knows that Liam is only as faithful as his options (to borrow the old Chris Rock line), so she gave him another option.

Quinn knows that Ally has a raging crush on Liam  while everyone else still sees Ally as a fresh faced girl still trying to figure out how to physically make her way to the elevator leading to Eric’s office, from the mail room downstairs.  Quinn can see Ally’s ambitions at work and at play.

I can’t wait to see more  from Quinn, I think.

Voted: Most Likely to Break Your Heart – Katie Logan and Ridge Forrester

I just know that this one is going to be a toughie!  They are going to fight their passion to the bitter end.  They are going to be called hypocrites from the very people , Brooke and Bill, who self-servingly won’t realize that their actions  ( sleeping around behind Katie’s back while she believed herself to be a happily married woman who boldly turned back a dark time in her marriage) are not the same as Ridge and Katie’s.  KaRi is uncommitted to anyone but the children they are loving and raising.  KaRi are not making promises to others minutes before running off to meet for sleazy sex.

I hope the writers don’t take KaRi down BRill’s dark path.  They deserve better, and so does the audience.  I’m hoping that if there is heartbreak, it’s not that the couple has been trashed to try to make BRill less offensive.  The only thing the writers will be left with are two equally offensive pairings.  I’m hoping that if there is heartbreak, it’s because KaRi separates to avoid hurting others, and we watch them painstakingly work their way back to each other.

Voted: Most Likely to End Up On Pay=Per-View: Hope Logan and Quinn Fuller

Yeezus!  All things Kanye West, I can’t BREATHE with these two!  Many actors have commented that filming sex scenes are no fun because they are too technical (lighting, direction on movement, etc).  If Kim Matula (Hope) and Wyatt (Darin Brooks) aren’t enjoying their passionate scenes, I think they both deserve Emmys for those performances – now, please, no need to wait for a ceremony!

Am I alone in thinking that the employee absenteeism rate is close to zero (or even negative) on the days these two film their scenes?  Negative?  I’m guessing that crew members who aren’t scheduled for work show up on that day!  These two are taking their portmanteau: HOTT seriously!  Again, I’m starting to become a little embarrassed watching those scenes . It feels like I am  the dirty snoopy neighbor peering into the bedroom windows of the cute little couple next door.

Clothes on, standing up, HOTT is adorable and just make me smile.  Clothes off?  They make me blush.  I don’t know what’s coming with this lover from Wyatt’s past, but she has big shoes to fill if the writers are going to convince us that she has a snowball’s chance of breaking this couple up.  I have a feeling she’ll have to settle for a slightly WELL used Wyatt sibling.  Poor Ally.

Voted: Most Likely to Have a Professional License Revoked

In honor of Taylor’s brief return, l’m hoping that two things happen – the first being that she sees Katie and Ridge in action and just blows her unprofessional lid.  It should dawn on Taylor that her very public interference in Katie’s life, all to ruin Brooke, ultimately brought about the relationship between Katie and Ridge.  An affair that was kept under wraps became a public spectacle and utterly devastated Katie.  There is NO WAY Taylor did it for Katie’s sake, even knowing that Katie deserved the truth.  If it was for Katie’s sake, it wouldn’t have happened in front of everyone Katie loved, adding to her hurt and humiliation.  Taylor joined Brooke and Bill in destroying Katie and paved the way for Ridge to help her heal.  Symmetry!

As a result of publicly humiliating her client, in addition to sleeping with her clients (Ridge, Nick, attempt with Eric), trying to manipulate Liam into staying with Steffy, and betraying a host of other trusts- it’s time that the show’s writers and producers address Taylor’s lack of professionalism and stops pretending that the woman is anything other than the person she’s been (initially while hiding in the shadows): manipulative and MEAN!  If she hasn’t had to surrender her license, let’s hope she’s just decided to choose a new field to save others from her malevolent form of “help’

What are your 2014 BnB Yearbook picks?

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BnB: The Bold and the Bare-chested!

BnB_Bill and Katie#boldandbeautiful.  I keep waiting for the magical moment when Bill Spencer is bowed and broken, dogged by the realization that his treatment of poor Katie was deplorable –  so much so that this new awakening crushes his spirit.  In my imagination, it’s the beginning of his redemption.  He learns that he is not infallible and that his abusive treatment of those around him, women in particular, can only be described as dehumanizing during his best behaved moments. Penny Bill begins cops to his 99 problems and learns how to be  a human, again – assuming he was ever human in the first place.  Before he can find someone to love, he is determined to learn how to become worthy of that love.

Are you laughing yet? You should be. Arrogant men don’t pay for their horrid actions on the BnB – they become pseudo heroes, so I am going to have to  find consolation where I can. The powers that be gave that to me today, in the form of a SHIRTLESS Bill Spencer!  It’s superficial, yes, and I feel no shame about developing a burning desire to wipe the man’s sweat away.  Don’t get any ideas, PTB, keeping him shirtless will only make the audience immune to that bangin’ body.  Don Diamont is a SEXY BEAST! Bill Spencer is a putz!

Even still, is it wrong that I want to set up picture-in-picture so that there is always an image of shirtless  DD. on screen?  It’s not like I don’t have other options, I just don’t think my family would appreciate images of a shirtless unfamiliar man being wallpapered on our breakfast room walls. Thank goodness I failed to hit the fast forward button on the Brooke and Bill scenes, as I typically do and will continue to do in the future.

Quinn/Rena and Wyatt/Darin

EUREKA!  I couldn’t figure out what was gnawing at me about the casting for Quinn (Rena Sofer) and Wyatt (Darin Brooks).  I’ve finally put my finger watching the Murder Mystery Club at work, today, busting Wyatt for his heinous crimes.  But Wyatt didn’t commit murder, you say?  We’ll get to that later.  Liam, Pam, and Charlie described a very different Wyatt and Quinn than the mother and son I thought I was watching.  Their descriptions of them were  so very different that as I started thinking about the duo and whether the actors were giving off clues that I was  foolishly missing.  While I’m grateful for it, I’ve never understood the casting choices for this pair.  Sofer looks much too young to be Wyatt’s mother and they are so different in their looks as family members (yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re not really related).  It’s just that casting for families is usually based on physical similarities in some way — Brooke and her children, for example.

Why these two actors, together?

Here goes:  Rena Sofer and Darin Brooks were cast, I think, because of one trait they share in common, both are capable of giving “great face”!  It is what makes them quite similar as mother and son.  With both actors, the same face that expresses warmth, love and care can also express the potential for bedevilment, anger, and some other undefinable quality with  a moment’s transition.  I still get chills when I think of Sofer’s Quinn drawing blood  from B.S. without so much as breaking a sweat.  It’s subtle, it’s amazing, and it means that both can play any type of character the writers want them to play.  I think that despite the dialogue and current plot, it’s that intangible quality that allows the audience to read into the characters whatever it is they see in them.  Both are capable of doing more with a facial expression and silence than most other actors (in any genre) are capable of doing with full Greek chorus standing behind them announcing each scene. True or not, I’m pretty convinced that Sofer can stop time with a single look!

BnB_Bill and DeaconThe vibe I get from Quinn and Wyatt is one of fierce determinism.  Without support from Bill, Quinn raised a son, built a business and kept moving through the hard times.   It’s a trait that she seems to have passed on to Wyatt and I hope the writers allow him to show his kinder, gentler “Quinn side” in fighting back and reclaiming his love – should this revelation break apart Hope and Wyatt.

Wyatt, Hope, Liam, Quinn, Charlie, Pam

Can someone explain to me what Wyatt has done that warrants the take down planned by Liam, Pam and Charlie?

  • Did he have a black market buyer set up for the Hope Diamond?  Was he planning to sell it and skip the country?
  • Were he and Quinn planning to crack that rock and turn it into a matching necklace, earring and headband set for Hope?
  • Are Wyatt and Quinn secretly funding their struggling drug cartel’s business expenses with chips they’ve been stealthily taking from the diamond?
  • No? None of that?

So what is this “scandal” about?  I could understand the concern that Wyatt didn’t clue Hope in on the publicity stunt, and I’m sure she would have stopped him, but the (lack of) drama surrounding this is almost making Liam and the group look petty.  It’s just not a scandal worthy of rocking a young couple’s burgeoning love and it’s a real waste of an opportunity to jump into Wyatt’s backstory – because surely there are more challenges waiting there.

As written, Liam is presenting the news as if he’s uncovered the six love children and five women left raising them, that Wyatt deserted up and down the coast.  Liam is breaking in on the camping trip as if he has photo evidence of Wyatt involved in  illicit affairs with Hope’s mother, sister, and aunts.  The heightened emotion around this storyline feels off base.  This is the evidence that Wyatt and Quinn are criminal masterminds and uber sociopaths?  Unless this is the beginning of finding out that every precious stone they’ve touched has come up missing, this is pretty much a dud of a storyline.  It becomes more comical than dramatic.  Liam, Charlie and Pam overplayed their hand, and I hope the results from the great reveal reflect that.

Pam? That poor woman tied Donna Logan to a chair at Big Bear cabin, covered her with honey, and set a bear loose on her.  She nearly killed Eric with poisoned lemon bars, and then continued to torment Donna like that woman stole money from her. Pam received treatment after nearly killing both Donna and Eric, but the constant attacks on Donna took place post treatment.  While I am glad that Pam was too smart to fall for Quinn’s attempt to buy her friendship, I am disappointed that her “second chances” speech was a lie.  The woman still serves lemon bars, for pity sake. She was healed, was forgiven, and moved on to a happy life, one she now shares with Charlie.

As for Liam, I want to like the guy.  I’m REALLY trying, but I shouldn’t have to try this hard.  Scott Clifton is a fabulous actor and I followed him from GH, to OLTL, and now the BnB.   There is something about Liam that Clifton can’t cure. It’s the writing for the character.  It’s hard to take Liam seriously, the man who repeatedly broke Hope’s heart to take up with his father’s discarded mistress-in-waiting.  Liam defends his ex-wife and father, who have done far worse than anything Wyatt or Quinn have ever considered doing.  Unless Deacon was brought to justice during a time when I wasn’t watching this show, there is a fugitive from the law still on the loose, thanks to Bill.  Maybe Liam, Pam and Charlie can track him down with their newly found super sleuthing skills and cart him back to wherever he belongs!

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4 words: Monkeys. Typewriters. Locked Rooms

You know the old writers’ insult, “Monkeys banging on typewriters could do a better job!” Imagine if you not only handed a room full of monkeys a set of typewriters (uh, keyboards), but you then locked them in. Well… that’s ONE way to force them to concentrate on completing your scripts, but watch out! Locking them in a room might add insult to injury and monkeys are pretty vengeful. They also have a pretty wicked sense of humor. Make sure you READ the scripts before you film and then air them for long suffering fans.

One Life to Live

Bitchy Marty, Bitchy Tea, Bitchy TeBessica… ‘effin.love.them.all.

Jessica apologizing and groveling at Natalie’s feet? No thanks. I felt sympathy for Nat “the outsider” for about 10 minutes. I’m over it. She’s still sleeping with the man who cost her sister’s husband his life. An accident? Sure… after months of deceiving him and destroying everything he’d built for his family. I’m hoping Tess and Bess have teamed up to finish taking Nat and Jared down – without plotting anyone’s death, by the way. Abject misery is enough for me, thanks. Tea taking guff from Blair? I don’t think so. Tea and Blair live different realities. Tea is a badass by nature. She’s shown tremendous growth and change and I love how spunky she is. Blair? Badass, on occasion, doormat more often than not. The woman slept with Spencer Truman just after Todd, the ‘great love’ of her life, was sentenced to execution. Despite every reasonable warning to the contrary, she made Truman a part of her children’s lives. My money is on Tea. Marty Saybrooke being left alone with Janet Ketring/Lee Halpern? Seriously, were the monkeys also STONED when they banged out that moment? Writers, keep an eye on the script monkeys, they’re making you look bad!

It’s annoying enough that Bo and Nora’s situational ethics drag every other living Llanview resident through the muck, but Bo and Tahlia leaving JK/LH alone with an angry and self-destructive Marty? The woman tried to force Todd to commit suicide for what he did to her (with JK/LH’s help). So they let her confront JK/LH, alone, wearing a coat which could very well have contained a weapon, and carrying an uzi sized purse? They actually LEFT the motel? I have to say, violence isn’t my thing, but I got a chuckle out of JK/LH cracking a vase over Talia’s head and taking off. Too bad Bo didn’t get one of those, as well! You’d think JK/LH was a witness for the defense  for as careless as they’ve been about her safety.  It must be nice to be pals with people like Bo and Nora. They use their offices to go after people you don’t like if you’re a friend, no matter how flimsy the evidence, nor the cost to the good folks of Llanview.

Oh, and locked-away-typewriter-banging monkeys? Less smug from Antonio and Nora, please. They’re on the side of RIGHT, and they leave me wanting to see Tea wipe the smug off of their faces – unless that’s what you wanted and then I feel played (well done). If I’m wrongfully faulting you and it’s the choices made by the actors, please speak to the director and ask him to handle it.

The Bold and The Beautiful

Bridget is a designer now? You magnificent vengeful monkeys, you! You really did get the last laugh, didn’t you? I wish I could laugh with you, but I can’t. It hurts. Did you have to pay the writers back at the viewers’ expense? An accelerated undergrad preMed program, supposed ‘years’ of study in medical school. Internships, Residency, saving lives, bringing babies into the world, bringing her aunt Katie back from the dead, saving her brother from jail following Phoebe’s death… and Bridget wants to give it all up to start designing for the company that just ripped off her father’s and brother’s newest collection. Bridget… giving up medicine for THAT!

She’s doodled haute couture  gowns for years and was just too afraid to tell anyone?  Her work is even better than life-long designer Clarke Garrison… stuff she sketched when not practicing medicine 23/6 and no one knew?  Uh, because despite the fact that EVERY one of her adult sibs, her nieces and nephew, and BOTH of her parents work in the fashion industry, she was too afraid to tell them she has a passion for fashion? Ok, works in your universe, but typewriter-banging-monkeys, if the writers don’t feed you, refuse to type out scripts on an empty stomach. It makes you a little loopy.

This wouldn’t hurt so bad if it weren’t a follow up to the “fabulous Paminis”… Pam Douglas, insta-designer with a CROCHET technique so secret that only Pam can churn out the one of a kind hot yarn bikinis… So what is Bridget’s Auntie Pam kicking out? 20 a day in the Forrester sweatshop? Monkeys, explain yourselves! Is there something in the air at FC that makes anyone who passes through the hallowed halls a genius in the design world (all except Clarke it seems)?

Guiding Light

Alan wanting revenge against a cheating Beth? I get that. For once in his life, Alan is as devoted as he’s ever has been to a woman, maybe the most faithful he’s ever been. (Beth hasn’t been faithful to anyone since she was a teen) She  gives birth to his child, while still raising his grandchildren and making him part of their lives.  Then she cheats on him. He now knows that he’s met his match in Beth.  No one loves Alan as much as he loves himself.  Ditto on Beth. He’s sleeping with his mirror image and it’s driving him mad, life is a cruel mistress, Alan.

I WANT Alan to make Beth miserable, and not for his sake, but because Beth is supremely selfish and sucks as a person. BUT…Alan grabbing the letter opener, TWICE (something TPTB aired when the scenes picked up with a third and fourth time during the next day’s episode, too)? Good mercy. Giving the audience the impression that he would just as soon plunge the opener into her heart because his heart was broken? YIKES!

I don’t remember Alan being violent with women, especially not to the point of contemplating a brutal death for one. He likes owning and controlling women, but he likes owning and controlling everyone. He usually shows more finesse. The old Alan would have had Coop arrested on some trumped up charge, claimed ‘Company’ for himself – leaving Buzz penniless, and set Beth up to think she was going crazy again just to get custody of Peyton. He would have done it all before lunch!  He actually would have kept Buzz on at the restaurant he stole from him and had Buzz SERVE him lunch. Alan is psychotic, but he’s no thug.

Monkeys, you owe the GL writers an apology for what you’ve done to their beloved Alan Spaulding. Shame on you.

All My Children

Zach. Killing Josh. Fathering Gabrielle. Eye-boinking with Reese. Expecting Kendall to understand. Vicious little typewriter-banging-monkeys… You’ve outdone yourselves. I actually like the potential fallout from this one. No criticism, here. This is all soapy goodness. AMC was lucky to have you on staff when you wrote that part of the plot. Kendall, forgive Binks, Reese, and Zach. PRICELESS!

While you’re at it, write that script where David Hayward is loving and unselfish, Adam Chandler has sworn off manipulating the people he loves, Erica Kane gives up designer clothes and all other perks of fine living, and JR Chandler stays sober! See how silly it all seems that anyone would expect forgiveness from Kendall? Whatever she does to them, they’ve got it coming. Maybe Zach should keep a picture of his happy parts in a safe location. The doctors will need it when they’re working on the reattachment and reconstruction!

I can’t give you a pass on Amanda’s pregnancy, however. Does anyone remember the last daytime pregnancy where the mother knew who her child’s father was (Binks excluded, of course) and there was no scandal around the pregnancy? (Whoops, Binks back in!) Why another contested paternity? It’s not like there’s been a shortage of them.

Then again, you’ve been writing for Annie and she’s freakin’ wonderful, so it all evens out in the wash!