General Hospital: It’s just a damned soap!

Get over it. or how about?

You know it’s not real, right? or

How can you take something that’s not real so seriously?

Those are the obnoxious comments non soap fans usually throw at soap fans when they show up on message boards to taunt us about our silly love for “dumb assed’ soaps… Then they run back to their favorite gamer/fan boi/fan gurl boards and battle over their fave fictional characters.  It’s also a charge some soap fans use on other soapers to prove that THEY are the ones who watch for enjoyment, while other soap fans are just cracked.

Well, I could have used one of those pseudo-superior pains in the ass yesterday.  I would have been too busy arguing with one of them to watch GH.  And then I wouldn’t have had to question my sanity.  Am I taking this all too seriously?  Is there anything enjoyable about GH’s  ‘Suckpranos’  any more?  If Claudia’s death scenes were supposed to create an atmosphere of  edge-of-your-seat drama?  They were an epic FAIL!  If they were supposed to make me despise Sonny, Carly, Jason, Sam and the rebirth of Michael “MyKill” Corinthos?  They were an epic SUCCESS!

I feel dirty having watched those scenes

I felt dirty watching Carly cuddle with sweet little Josslyn, while MyKill was staring at his hands, stained with Claudia’s blood.  The look he gave her while she did it chilled me.  Did he feel abandoned?  Was  he angry with her?  Did he feel he’d sold his soul for her and ‘Jax’s baby’?

I felt dirty watching everyone treat Jax as if he really was sacrificing Michael to protect his child.  Jax is ALONE.  Even Carly puts his child’s health at risk for the sake of her other children.  Jax isn’t sacrificing Michael, he’s protecting his child – Michael has a city full of mobsters and two highly enmeshed parents to protect him.

I felt dirty watching Jason and Sam talk about covering up Claudia’s death when Michael was clearly  trying to protect his mother against a violent woman and should not have to stand trail for that.  I would rather the writers had taken that route and let Michael deal with his own guilt at having taken a life.

I felt DIRTIEST watching psychotic Sonny tell Michael he ‘did a good thing’ (or words to that effect) by taking Claudia out.  I can’t say that it’s the exact quote, but close enough.  I’m a still a little woozy from scrubbing my brain every time I think of that scene.   A GOOD thing?  So Sonny is now the Martha Stewart of the mob set?  No, it wasn’t a GOOD THING, it’s what Michael felt he had to do to protect his mother from her abductor, and his sister from growing up a captive.  Nothing about it made it a ‘good thing’, since it was Sonny who brought Claudia into his children’s lives.

I felt dirty watching Sonny tell Jason to bury Claudia as close to hell as he could – considering the fact that everyone keeps talking about what a great man and great father he is ( most especially from the mouth of NuLois/Olivia Falconeri, who didn’t bother to let him help her raise her son.  It’s on coincidence that Dante/Dominic is the only one of Sonny’s adult/near-adult children who isn’t a wreck of a person).  His statement was also mind-blowing given the fact that Sonny spoke those words as if he and Jason wouldn’t soon see Claudia in hell.  Wait, I forgot, they’re the good mobsters.

I felt dirty, and angry, watching Max and Milo argue with Jason about whether it was smart to burn the cabin once they disposed of the body.  Milo and Max use to be the comic relief of the show and fans could imagine that they never really got their hands dirty.  Now we know they do, we’re seeing it, and they’re strategizing about which is the best way to dispose of a human being.

I felt dirty watching Carly hold that sweet child, and smile at Jax, as if nothing had happened, as if his newborn child wasn’t just involved in yet another of Sonny’s fiasco-filled escapades.  While I once loved Jax and Carly, I now know that I wouldn’t mind if he took custody of that child and kept Carly away.

I felt dirty remembering rooting against AJ, hoping he NEVER got his hands on Carly and Jason’s (and then Sonny’s) kid.  I remember the sweet cherub Michael had once been, and felt sick believing that the writers felt that there was no choice but to make Michael as screwed up as the people around him, the people who defended all of his actions and wanted others to apologize to the dark Prince Michael.  What was worse is that they’re right!  How many kids like Michael can escape the dark future ahead of them with parents who pave the way and keep the roads clear of stumbling blocks (you know, like morals, decency, integrity, a sense of right and wrong)?

If I’m spinning this into a positive, the writers have also proven that Alexis is right, FINALLY (even if unintentionally).   Kristina and Michael are siblings, but they’re very different people.  Kristina has a chance, if she stays away from her father.  She has a mother who doesn’t believe that sunshine shoots out of Sonny’s private parts.  Her mother doesn’t think the mob life is glamorous, despite the stupidity of having slept with Sonny in the past.  She wants better for her daughter.  I hope the writers allow her to remain consistent in giving her daughter a fighting chance.

If soaps are around in a decade (maybe less), I could imagine Kristina as Port Chuckle’s new D.A.  Having lived with her mother, and stepfather Mac Scorpio,  she’ll have a different view of crime.  She’ll love her brother Michael, but she’ll end up putting him in prison with their father, Sonny and Uncle Jason – as her brother Dominic did years earlier.

Having read that last paragraph, I’ll bet you’re questioning my sanity too, right?  Well, at least I now have company!  I know, I know… it’s just a soap.

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4 thoughts on “General Hospital: It’s just a damned soap!

  1. That show was just the absolute worst!

    Michael “did good”? HUH?

    Oh what fecking planet?

    Look I don’t deny he was trying to protect his mother and sister. Got it. But what the heck? The only death that was more self defense than this one was Logan’s. And yet, much like that one…we just HAD to cover it up! (hey do you think it was the same axe that killed Logan?) WTF? Half the freaking town who were randomly invited to that birthday party SAW Claudia kidnap Carly….including the mayor and former DA, plus 2 doctors who apparently were accidentally invited. Do the writers think the use of self defense and mitigating circumstances are only there for the sole use of St. Jason of the Holy Silencer? (Totaly stole that nickname…and i’m keeping it)

    Why can’t Michael face even ONE consequence for his action? For all the talk of how those three pinheads don’t want Michael in the mob, why has the concept of letting him see that being a criminal isn’t glamorous and will land him in jail is a completely forgien concept? You know like getting that little rage case some therapy is completely out of the question.

    And people actualy thought last Friday and Monday’s show were a return to the GOOD GH? That Jonathan Jackson’s return signaled GH was getting back to what made it great? I would like to ask these people….ummm care to revise that opinion?

  2. W-O-R-D-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just don’t understand the writers. Why have us invest in Michael from his days as a wide grinning cherub, only to turn him into a murdering psychopath like his dad and Jason?

    What’s wrong with Carly? What mother could coddle and coo a child, while the other was staring at his blood soaked hands after a murder he’d just committed? The murder rolled off of Carly like water off of a duck. Even if my son committed an act of self-defense, I wouldn’t be able to smile and coo. I would be devastated for him. I can’t even see most of the Apple Dumpling gang as human. Their actions are so artificial and inhumane.

  3. does anyone know who sings and what the name of the song is that they play on the mob scenes. I think Adam Lambert sings it and i can only get its a very very bad………………… please let me know, thank you

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