Inglorious Bastards

No, not ‘Basterds’, that’s Tarantino’s deal.  The IB’s I’m (lovingly) referring to are the daytime writers who have yet to give up on trying to pull one over on the fans!

One Life to Live

1.  I’d appreciate it if someone would explain to me why Cole and Starr (of ‘We’re Cole and Starr’ fame) would think it was ‘ok’ to involve  Starr in Cole’s ‘21 Jump Street‘ drug operation.  From there, “Stole” proved that neither will ever be a member of the Llanview brain trust!  I was  stupefied  after they  involved their innocent defenseless baby to give ‘credibility’ to Cole’s cover.   Why didn’t they stage a break up before having Cole go ‘undercover’?  Why not have Starr and child leave town for a while?   Oh, I get it!  “There is no ‘Starr and Cole, they’re fictional – THEY didn’t do it”!  “It was all the writers doing”.   That won’t stop me from cringing whenever Starr and Cole are on.  The longer this pairing goes on, the weaker the writing  for them becomes.  It’s increasingly more difficult it is to like them and I find myself resenting the airtime they’ve stolen from veteran characters.  The characters are consistently placed in storylines that are ‘too adult’ for them and the integrity of the storyline suffers as a result.

2.  I don’t care who Rex’s father is… it’s dragged on too long without enough plot points in between to keep me curious.  Now I’m just annoyed every time the topic comes up.  Rex is a freakin’ private investigator.  He must really suck at his job if he can’t figure this one out.  Isn’t it just a tad bit odd that he can figure out that Tea has some deep dark secrets, but can’t find his own father?  It’s also odd that he can’t keep up with Stacy’s mustache twirling  machinations!

I love Stacy Morasco… oh yeah, I said LOVE, but it’s evident that while her engine is on, there’s no one behind the wheel.  If SHE can outsmart Rex, time and again, he’s working with a single digit IQ.  I’m going to hate myself later for admitting this, but I’m thrilled at the thought of a Gigi Schuyler pairing and a Rex and Stacy pairing – if only because Stacy will make sure Rex stays miserable for a LONG time.  What irony that Ilene Kristen who played Ryan’s Hope’s scheming bad girl (Delia Reid Ryan)  could become the onscreen mother-in-law of a similar character!

3.  Fish and Kyle.  Daytime writers seem to believe that all gays have a traumatic coming out experience.  While it may be a difficult moment for some, will OLTL writers ever give the audience a gay character who isn’t closeted and terrified of coming out?  I lived through the Daniel Colson storyline.  I would have much rather had Fish avoid Kyle because he gave his heart and soul to Kyle in college and Kyle cheated, lied, and was generally unconcerned about anyone but himself.  That’s VERY consistent with the scheming, lying, blackmailing Kyle we were introduced to.

At some point, writers, can we please just have gay characters who are actually HAPPY with their lives, and not afraid that their friends and family will turn on them?  Am I watching too much Miami Social?  (Yeah, I should be ashamed of admitting that too!  That cast of real life characters puts the ‘super’ in superficial!)

General Hospital

1. Oh those sneaky GH writers!  They’ve pulled a fast one.  Every FBI agent, or undercover cop, ever sent to ‘take Sonny down’ ended up falling for  Jason’s pecs, Spinelli’s wit, or the magic of Sonny’s pecker (Hannah, Reese).  So how have the writers topped themselves?  HA!  It’s the fruit of Sonny’s loins (product of the pecker)  who is now being sent to take him down!   Marked improvement, writers, really… only not!  It’s a given that Dante Falconeri won’t end up carrying Sonny’s child and wouldn’t want to even if he could, thank the soapgods.  Unfortunately there’s no guarantee that Dante won’t go the way of every cop/agent before him and end up loving his papa, Sonny,  so much that he turns on his profession to protect him.

Even though I’m having a hard time buying Dante as Olivia and Sonny’s kid, I’ll suspend disbelief if Dante is allowed to put the mob storyline to bed, rather than climb into bed with the mob  when all is revealed.   (I can’t be the only one who thinks that Dominic Zamprogna’s Dante,  looks more like Olivia’s older brother than her son!  David Lago would have been a much better choice given the character’s supposed age, but since I’m enjoying DZ in the role, I can live with it).   Let’s hope that the revelation that Sonny is his father will mean that Dante becomes more determined than ever to shut Sonny’s operation down.  If Dante doesn’t actually signal the end of the reign of the mob boys,  GH is doomed.  The writers either have to send them to prison (won’t happen) or have them leave their lives of crime (can’t see this happening either), but things can’t go on as they are.

2. Nik… calling Emily Rebecca a ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ and repeatedly making reference to how easily she ‘spreads her legs’… just lovely… As much as I despise Rebecca, I would have cheered her on for slapping ‘Prince Nikolas’ out of his shoes, thank you very much!  If I recall, Nik was as ‘slutty’ as Rebecca.  She wanted money, he wanted an Emily substitute and tried to give it up to her much sooner than she was willing to give herself to him.

Why do I feel the need to shower after watching GH?

The Bold and The Beautiful

Speaking of showers, did anyone watch KKL’s Brooke and HT’s Taylor mud wrestling scene?  Obviously, I didn’t, but as I understand it, the actresses (their characters) took a ‘mud bath’ to cleanse their toxins and a fight broke out between the characters.

What’s up next?  The Brooke and Taylor accidentally fall into a vat of jello and begin  fighting?

A pillow fight breaks out and they ‘accidentally’ start ripping each other’s shirts open?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, The Bold and The Beautiful writers.

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2 thoughts on “Inglorious Bastards

  1. I am with you on the Nik thing….not to mention…Rebecca was a “whore” for conning him…yet I think we were supposed to be rooting him on for his continous hitting on Elizabeth, who he admits is the love of his brother’s life? And i think we were supposed to swoon everytime he downshifts faster than Sonny from calling a woman a whore to trying to get with a new one…..but yet all I can think is “why the heck would I give a crap what this skeev does? He was given warning that Remily might be up to no good for months…and he ignored it……too bad so sad.”

    I’m betting Dante finds out he’s Sonny’s son and destroys his career to get back at Olivia for her great “betrayal”. And you are so not the only one. If the show insists on keeping Dante as Olivia’s son…can they at least adress the fact that Olivia had MAJOR work done then?

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