Sexual Fluidity: The Otalia/Staylor Debate continues?

Trust me when I tell you that for those of you who’ve posted, who’ve emailed, and who’ve shared your personal stories, I’ve been LISTENING!  I’ve also been learning.  Before I get started, I’d like to recommend the following title for anyone might find this book worth the read (click the image to read an excerpt from Amazon.com):

The Editorial Review reads as follows:

Many women experience a fluid sexual desire that is responsive to a person rather then a specific gender, argues Diamond n this fascinating and certain to be controversial study. Diamond, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, is best when detailing, with vivid examples, how scientific studies of sexual desire and behavior have focused on the experience of men, for whom the heterosexual/homosexual divide seems mostly fixed. Diamond says traditional labels for sexual desire are inadequate; for some women even bisexual does not truly express the protean nature of their sexuality. Diamond details in accessible and nuanced language her own study of 100 young women (by her own admission not fully representative) over a period of 10 years. She says that she is calling for an expanded understanding of same-sex sexuality that could radically affect both LGBT activists who hold that sexual identity is fixed and antigay groups who believe sexuality is chosen. Sexual fluidity involves a mix of internal and external factors, but is not, Diamond emphasizes, a matter of conscious choice, and she speculates that a younger generation that views sexuality as personal rather than political might embrace this less rigid view. (Feb.)

If you’re a  SON poster, there is a lot of new content, here, but some of this blog entry was posted as a response at the SON site.  Stick around and add your thoughts!

I’ve been surprised by the reaction of some Bold and Beautiful fans  when I suggested the possiblity of a “Staylor” (Stephanie and Taylor) relationship similar to the Otalia (Olivia and Natalia) relationship on the Bold and the Beautiful.  Some BnB fans have responded to my suggestion by stating that  Stephanie and Taylor are too ‘moral’ to get together and ‘have sex’.   There is a difference between sex and a relationship no matter how much daytime writers blur those lines for the sake of plot device.   I suggested a relationship, not a one night stand.  If sex happens, it happens, if not?  EH!   

The suggestion was considered ‘disgusted’, ‘perverted’ and ‘immoral’, by some.  Color me surprised!  The Guiding Light has received TREMENDOUS positive feedback for it’s delicate and sensitive handling of the Otalia relationship.  It’s hard for me to believe that fans of any show could still have that reaction to such a proposed storyline.

It was suggested (both openly and in private) that I had to be a lesbian in order to  even suggest support for the notion of a Staylor pairing.  I’ve heard that same argument made in different ways.  As a person of color, whose family survived the pre-civil rights American South, I’ve heard that argument phrased as anyone who supported civil rights had to be an ‘n-lover’ (I refuse to type the word in full).  The reality is that when you support people for who they are, and realize that your OWN experiences aren’t the only experiences that count, it just makes you human.  PERIOD.

The suggestion is not a storyline about the sexuality of the viewers, the writers, the actors, or society at large (other than the fact that according to Diamond’s work, such a storyline is VERY MUCH consistent with reality)… it’s about shared humanity… it’s about reality, overall… in other words?  SNAP OUT OF IT!

The idea that ANY soap character is ‘too moral’ to be involved in a same sex realtionship leaves me asking which soap you watch!  It can’t be anything currently on air.  Loving someone who is same sex?  No biggie.  Sleeping with your husband’s brothers his former father- and brother-in-law and his new half brother, in addition to: lying about your adulterous behavior, following that with becoming a bigamist, and taking advantage of mentally frail individuals for the sake of your own gain (among other soap sins)?  Yeah, THAT’S what I call immoral!

I’ve never understood the idea of Taylor as ‘moral’. I know she speaks in moral tones, but her actions have always said otherwise, which is why I think she and Steph are so PERFECTLY matched, they are the same on that score.  Not every pairing is made up of  ‘sunshine-and-light’ partners.  Some of the best pairing in daytime have been dark ones: Alan Spaulding and Blake Mahler, for example.  Taylor’s actions, even before her latest back-from-the-dead stunt, were not too much different from those around  her. Taylor was always better able to hide her behavior and present a ‘moral’ face to those who didn’t know any better – namely RIDGE.

She lied to Brooke about sleeping with Ridge when Ridge and Brooke were together.
She lied to Ridge about Brooke sleeping with Grant when she knew the truth.
She lied to the Forresters about having known Grant (when the implication was that she was sleeping with Grant while married to Blake Hayes).
She used crazy-as-a-fox Blake Hayes to make Ridge jealous when Ridge was focused on Brooke.  She slept with Blake, tossed him aside, and then sleeping with Ridge immediately after.
She lied to Stephanie (and everyone else) about having actually slept with James.
She convinced Brooke to stay with Eric to give Rick time to ‘adjust’ to their divorce and then went after Ridge.
She tried to use Brooke’s children to get close to them so that Ridge leave Brooke when she came back the first time she came back from the dead.
She and Stephanie were wickedly ugly about Brooke behind her back, snooping through her office, Taylor cackling while Steph referred to Brooke as a ‘hooker making money for it’s john’.
Add her role in the Venice scheme, the fact that she diagnosed Thorne and Brooke as mentally ill only AFTER Ridge told her to stop supporting them, and that she had young Rick lie about her relationship with Eric (something she’s still keeping from Stephanie).
That’s my short list, LOL!

I’ve always found Taylor to be a very ugly soul and the more she cackled about her ‘moral’ behavior. the more of a hypocrite she’s become.

Stpehanie and Taylor are kindred. They feel beaten up by the world despite the fact that they’ve created their own misery. They have such a hatred for the world around them and it would be GREAT if they got together and actually found happiness.

For me, Steph is love-to-hate. Taylor is just there, BLAH. Together? They could actually be interesting. I think a relationship with these two would be amazingly transformational for the characters and allow the writers to open them up in a way they never have.  Just as Otalia has come together and each made the other better, the same could happen with Staylor.  Taylor would fit the ‘Natalia’ role, to some degree, taking Stephanie in, helping her mend her broken heart, and giving her a ‘safe’ place to land.  Steph would fit the ‘Olivia’ role, insecure, frightening, controlling, angry, scheming against the world… together they could find peace.

We’ve never come close to having either character find peace.  Taylor has always been the anti-Brooke plot device – angry and feeling tossed aside. The BnB writers started to open Stephanie up with the abuse reveal storyline, and then shut it down almost as quickly as they started it. 

Time will tell where this unofficial couple goes!

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One thought on “Sexual Fluidity: The Otalia/Staylor Debate continues?

  1. Why do straight people accept that one can cheat on the one they love(opposite sex) by having sex with another opposite sex person but can not believe one can love someone of the same sex without having sex. Love and sex are not synonymous.

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