Guess what? This is NOT a blog about Todd Manning!

Who knew?  Yes, it is indeed possible to get through a week and not devote an entire blog to how much I hate the Todd-Marty storyline on OLTL.  I’ve got bigger fish to fry.  It’s not something that annoys me, exactly,  it’s just something that has me curious.  I’ve watched soaps for decades, and for the life of me I can’t remember if Police Officers were always written to be as dumb as a box of hair as the current crop of daytime cops…so much so that I’m confusing the various “Po po’s”  from different day-shows.

Have you had the odd sensation of realizing that you’re thinking about a GL storyline involving Frank Cooper, but the image of Mac Scorpio is in your mind?  They’re so alike, in some ways.  Dark hair, good looking, similar build, and as-dumb-as-dirt when it comes to solving crimes and protecting the citizenry of their respective towns.

Frank is just jonesing to bust Bill Lewis for the kidnapping of Lizzie Spaulding.  What do they do there in the land of knotting pine wood paneling and faux stone Springfield?  Inhale glue?   Frank’s FIRST clue that Alan was somehow involved, even if not initially, should have been the point at which he expressed support for Lizzie AND for Bill Lewis.  The last time Alan truly supported Lizzie was when she was a babe in arms, and even then she was more of a tool to manipulate both his son, Phillip, and his then daughter-in-law/now wife-lover, Beth.  When has he ever supported or believed in Bill?  Why would he start now?

Ok, I’ll say it.  Frank has always been a good guy, so maybe it’s just hard for him to put himself in the shoes of a criminal mastermind.  Maybe it’s just hard for him to believe that anyone, including Alan Spaulding, would protect the person who actually kidnapped his granddaughter, just to frame an innocent man.   The only problem is that Frank has lived in Springfield his entire life.  Why would he put ANYTHING past Alan?  We’ll know that the writers view Frank as something more than a plot point to move the ‘more important’ plot points around when he’s allowed to

1 – Actually arrest someone who is guilty of a crime.

2 – Collect enough evidence to make it stick in court.

3- Stops arresting innocent persons and harassing them.

I live for the day… Babe in woods?  Sure, I’ll let it work as an excuse for  Frank Cooper.  I’ll accept that he’s all ‘Mr. Cooper goes to Peapack’, but what about Mac Scorpio?  What excuse can be made for stripping away his spine and his white and grey matter?  Ah the tragedy of the ever revolving door of daytime writers. It’s claimed our Mac, at long last.

The man is MAC-FRICKIN-SCORPIO, folks!  Do the writers not know who this man is (or was)?  Mac was a bad boy, a criminal, from way back.  He’s was a mercenary’s mercenary.  He is the man the writers had HOPED to recreate in Jerry Jacks.  The Jacks brothers, I have always assumed, were the modern day Scorpio brothers, only less successfully so.  Jax Jacks and Robert Scorpio:  successful, heroic, worldly, extensive travelers, both men favoring situational morals and ethics, but by-and-large honest men.  Their brothers?  The complete opposite.

Mac lied, stole, and cheated with the best of them.  There wasn’t a woman he wanted that he didn’t go after (married or not, and that included any woman married to or interested in his own brother).  Mac evolved into the great big teddy bear we see before us today.  Jerry started evolving during Julian Stone’s tenure, but the writers decided to have him revert back to type and then upped the “ick factor” with nuJerry, and Sebastian Roche did a marvelous job with the script he was give.  Watching SR in action, there were times when I almost wished the writers would let Mac revert back to type as well, within reason.

Why haven’t the writers made better use of his Mac’s past to make him every bit as devious and confrontational as Port Chuckles’ lollipop gangsters? (Uh, though the lollipop mob is stepping up the Sopranos worthy violence and cringe worthy behavior).  Why hasn’t Mac contacted some of the criminal pals he once worked with and turned them into confidential informants?

Does becoming honest make you stupid?  Brain death occurs once you forget how to scheme and connive?  Why, writers?

…and why, soapgods, am I tormented by my memories of storylines that were once coherent and exciting? What made bad guys fun to watch, once upon a time, is that they were SMART, their storylines were smart, their schemes weren’t telegraphed and acted out with the equivalent of subtitles.  Now, in order to make the bad guys seem brilliant, daytime writers have made everyone else dumber.

To DOOL’s Bo, Hope, and Roman Brady, and OLTL’s Bo Buchanan, I salute you (or salute your writers via you).  Sure, I even salute OLTL’s John McBain, too.  None of you are as bad off as most of your daytime colleagues, and let’s hope you never get there.

To GH’s Mac, and GL’s Frank, good luck.  You never had a chance.

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