Buh bye Daytime?

Goodness, I hope not.  I bitch about daytime… uh, A LOT, it’s what I do!  That doesn’t mean that I don’t love daytime – even when I’m crabbing about how much I hate it.  It’s like marriage, people!  Ok, so there are some things I don’t like.  All right, I lose perspective from time to time and the stuff that’s just good old fashioned storyline telling gets lost in the crappy stuff (case in point?  Grady, Guiding Light.  In another lifetime, I’d have loved some, not all, of his bad boy antics.  If it weren’t for the fact that he was a hitman-for-hire who’s never shown any real remorse, and has never had to pay for anything he’s done wrong I would have fallen madly in love with this character).

I don’t want daytime to go away.  I want daytime writers to remember what made the genre great and get us back to that time.  Yes, yes.. budget constraints make it hard for big storylines and make it hard to offer the old wonderful scenes of families and friends gathered in the same room for almost any occasion (geez, remember Ryan’s bar for the celebrations and the holidays)?

Don’t you miss the huge Christmas celebrations on the Bold and The Beautiful (though TPTB have given us a couple of great celebrations the last couple of years).

Remember the Nurses’ Ball on GH?

How about the Bauer BBQ?

The Hughes Family Fourth of July picnics?

We’ll probably never see big family scenes again (short of soap weddings and soap funerals), but maybe we’ll occasionally see scaled down versions – scenes along the lines of tense dinner parties:  Picture it, GH’s Jason and Liz/Lucky and Sam having dinner together, working out the details of a shared custody arrangement that allows Lucky to keep his sons.  Liz, giving Sam the evil eye, is making it clear to all but Jason that she’s not completely over Lucky.  Sam doesn’t notice that hypocriti-liz is giving her the eye, because she’s too busy staring into Jason’s empty but beautiful blue eyes.  Lucky is staring at Liz, who is still staring at Sam, and he’s wondering why her ovaries seem to only warm up to the bad boy seed.  He wonders if he’d either killed someone, or joined the mob, would HE be the biological father of one of her children?   Jason?  He’s staring at his navel lint, trying to figure out how many more children, with how many more women, he needs to create before he’s TRULY walked a mile in Sonny’s shoes.   What I wouldn’t give.

I don’t hate daytime.  I just want a little more.  A little more love.  A little more romance.  A little more laughter.  Daytime has become a dark and depression genre.  I don’t know if current storylines are simply more reflective of daytime writers’ mood, but if they are, the worst is yet to come.  I don’t think the writers  have bottomed out, soap fans!


  • The writers have made it clear that Eric is an asshat.  Stephanie AND Donna living with him until he can make up his mind?  Sure, as I said before, it’s a rehash of the Macy/Thorne/Caroline storyline.  It’s alsoan unnecessary storyline since the writers have already proven that Eric and Stephanie are kindred spirits.  He tapes Donna working on the men’s line with Owen.  Stephanie taped Brooke (Donna’s sister) in the lab working on ‘BeLIeF’ with Ridge.  Technology is a very bad thing in the hands of Ma and Pa Forrester…a very bad thing.  Can you imagine what sort of titles their dvd collection contains?
  • Add Phoebe’s impending death.
  • Rick’s mewling that no one should be happy because he’s no longer having sex with Taylor
  • Katie stealing her niece’s husband, sleeping with him after she pushed the two of them back together, and after her niece saved her life.
  • and Marcus being sent away (and for what purpose?  So that Uncle Rick can seduce Steffy to stick it to Ridge, again?  Nice, since Marcus thinks the world of his cousin)
  • Watching the BnB requires a boatload of Pepto… but it’s not the worst offender.  The show DOES score high marks with me for recreating some of BRidge’s best times (the romantic Malibu wedding, the black teddy seduction scenes, last year, the Nagano scenes from the winter ’98 Olympics).

Guiding Light

  • Reva’s high risk pregnancy
  • Grady intimidation and physical assault of half the female population of Springfield.  WHAT?  Has no one on the GL writing staff ever watched an episode of Buffy?
  • Daisy is getting dumber by the day
  • The frequent prison scenes featuring Rafe (um, where is Grandpa Alan?  Why are Alan and Grady walking free while Rafe sits behind bars? Grandpa’s got no visions of his son, so he has no need for his grandson?  Alan leaves Rafael to rot while he mentors Grady.)
  • Olivia’s health crises
  • Bill Lewis in a coma
  • Watching the Guiding Light requires a good stiff drink.  You’re cutting back on your alcohol consumption, you say?  EASY!  Take a drink for every happy character you see on screen.  That’ll keep you sober.

General Hospital

  • There’s a population control issue on GH.  Apparently, no one knows how to use the pill, or a condom, or any other birth control device.  Oh but what to do about the overcrowding in Port Chuckles?  I know!  Kill off the citizenry.  I think we’ve been down this road one too many times.
  • Forget ‘Joe the Plumber’, ‘Jared the Undertaker’ must be a BILLIONAIRE by now!  There’s no need to build more jails in Port Chuckles, very few people live long enough to make it to prison.
  • Don’t worry, you don’t have to be criminal to make the ‘population reduction’ list.  You just have to ‘be’ in PC.  Emily, Georgie, Michael (coma)…
  • Can we do something about the decor in Sonny’s home, as well as Zacchara household?  The only things missing from the current decor are coffins, crosses, and cobwebs!  Only the Cassadine castle should be that creepy.
  • If you’re watching GH, these days, might I recommend laughing gas?

Young and the Restless

  • Phyllis is flipping her gourd because her husband is cheating emotionally (ok, that one gives me a giggle)
  • Victor is being framed by his son who is in cahoots with Jack Abbott, on top of being wanted for murder.
  • Everyone thinks Kay Chancellor is dead (do think it’s odd that the man who believes she’s ‘Marge’ knows who Victor Newman is, but is clueless about Kay Chancellor and Kay’s death doesn’t seem to be big news).
  • John Abbott’s ghost is still floating around.
  • Gloria is celebrating having duped an ailing woman out of a chunk of stock
  • Nikki is in mourning because of the loss of Katherine and Victor’s reappearance (ok, I made the last part up)
  • Cane and Lily are long in the face over their separation (and admittedly, their very existence causes ME to go long in the face)
  • The YnR is not quite as bad as others… relying on denial will get you through the down moments in the YnR.   There aren’t all that many down spots in the show.  In fact, I think the YnR is the most watchable show on the air, right now.

One Life To Live

  • Blair, today: “A toddler who needs sleep, a child who is upset over not seeing his father in long time and a teenager whose baby has just died’.  OY.
  • Todd was intimate with the woman he raped when they were younger- taking advantage of her amnesia.  He ‘took’ her when the man who was holding her hostage was murdered.
  • Jared and Natalie are recovering from nearly being blown to hell.
  • Jessica/Tess/Bess are battling for control of ‘the being’.  GREAT!  Scenes of a caged Jess in a dark room, with angry Viki photos around her cage.
  • Bess has stolen Starr’s baby to exchange with “their” dead child.
  • Marcie is grieving and Michael is trying to decide whether (and then HOW) to help her.
  • John… well, he’s still John
  • You need a prescription for anti-depressants to watch One Life To Live.

Great for killing a good mood if happiness just isn’t your thing:

  • ATWT:  Step-Grandpa Brian put the moves on Luke, and then tried to make Luke think he was crazy by denying what happened.  I miss Nuke.
  • DOOL:  Nick was arrested and led away in handcuffs, today… yes, dear sweet wonderful Nick.  All because of two characters I couldn’t give a flip about: Trent and Melanie.
  • AMC: Lovin’ AMC, but I don’t know how much more Babe fixation I can take.  Admittedly, she wasn’t one of my favorite characters so watching a good part of the show being centered around the aftermath of her death is painful… weally weally painful.

Let’s hope daytime writers cheer up… SOON!  I’m not ready to lose what’s left of the genre.