The Aging and the Virile

Dude Camp.  Location?  Dude Land.  That must be it.  That must be where the networks send their writers before turning them loose on script construction.  In Dude Land, all things are possible.  Women fall down fighting one another to impregnate themselves with your randomly stored sperm, even if you’re already a pretty lousy father.  No matter how mean and cantankerous you are, they think you’re ‘hawt’ and a real ‘honey bear’.  No matter how many failed marriages you have behind you, women are lining up to throw themselves at your feet to become your next ex-wife.  They will engage their own mothers, sisters, daughters and granddaughters in mortal combat for the right to love you next, or first, or first than third and even tenth in line after that. 

Dude land… an utterly mystical and magical place where writers learn to turn their inner bullshit into 20 – 40 minutes worth or garbage that makes me want to ‘ground’ myself and take away my t.v. privileges.  Whatever I did in my past life, watching daytime as most of it circles the drain appears to be the bigger punishment! 

The Young and the Restless and its sister soap, The Bold and The Beautiful, have managed to use the same storyline to remind soap fans why they’re not safe telling non-soapers that they’re still hooked on the genre. 

  • Both shows have decided that their respective show’s most veteran male lead needed to give up their long term on-again-off-again relationships with the mothers of their children and ‘true loves’.  Only the BnB’s Stephanie had it coming – thought I don’t like the way it was done and the outcome. Nikki?  I’m still a bit puzzled by Victor’s actions toward her.
  • Add to that that both men – Victor Newman and Eric Forrester, have married much younger women.  Don’t get me wrong, Eric Braeden (Victor) and John McCook (Eric) are hot enough to park their slippers under almost any woman’s bed at any time, but their characters have become huge losers in my book.  Minus their wealth, does anyone believe that any woman who hasn’t already put up with either knuckle dragger, for at least three decades, would want them?

Now here’s the ‘fun’ part:

  • Both men have had vasectomies (TWICE for Victor) that are never mentioned as the writers try to prove the ‘virility’ of each character by having him contemplate the possiblity of becoming a father a again with his young bride.  Luckily, Eric has decided he doesn’t want any more children.   Good, he has a habit of badly screwing over the ones he already has – more on that another time.

Is there something in Dude Land that equates ‘manhood’ with the ability to create children?  Are the writers incapable of creating interesting relationships between these men and the women they’ve married after bedding them a few times?  The fact that the only things these couples have in common are his money and her ovaries adds to de-legitimizing the relationships and give viewers nothing to root for or care about.

It’s time for Victor and Eric to realize that their shared problem isn’t that they’re getting older.  It’s that they’re getting older without getting wiser.  They’ve learned nothing and if they paid for making the same mistakes over and again, it would be interesting and fun to watch.  Ah, but no.  Everyone else around them has to pay.  Their wives lose self-esteem, their children are rendered helpless, and their friends suffer, all until these guys get it right.

Should you happen to find yourself vacationing in “Dude Land” and you run into any daytime writers, could you pass these on for me:

GH writers, I can’t watch the show any more.  Sonny has impregnated so many women of that show that I’m fearful that if I sit too close to the screen, I’m next!  Oh yes, Sonny’s mojo is just that strong.  Either have him tie it down, or I’m just going to have to go elsewhere.

DOOL writers, Victor?  Seriously?  C’mon.  At some point, Victor is going to have to realize that not even his money is going to make him an attractive man to anyone, including himself.  The nights get even lonelier when you can’t even turn yourself on…. and I don’t know where that was going,  I’ll just let you decide and make of it what you will.

GL writers, Josh?  Sorry, no.  He’s not just losing his sex appeal because he became a minister (oh “Fr. What-A-Pity”).     Sisters Reva and Cassie are at odds over Josh.  Josh, however, has to be the angriest man in daytime, and it’s not clear why.  Two women in love with him, he’s following his dreams by livng the life he wanted.  He has a new family that he loves.  Oh yes, being with Cassie has brought Josh so much peace.  Life with Reva was just too tumultuous.  It’s good that he moved on. <sigh>

I have to applaud daytime for at least two storylines that turn the tables on the “virile aging’ meme.  OLTL’s Addie and David (see below) and the BnB’s Taylor and Rick.  Whatever you think of the principal characters, at least it’s not another storyline of a deluded rich older man who hasn’t yet realized that the bulge in his pants the young chippies are looking at his wallet.

 BTW:  Special thanks to KimRe at Restless-passions for the screen caps.  You can check out that site by viewing her link to the right of this blog.

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