Live blogging the BnB 7/10/08

Eric ‘always caring’ is worth what, exactly?  Nothing.

Update 1: W-T-FFFFFFFF????  TPTB freakin’ bought Stephanie a rocking chair while Eric is gets to get laid as often as he wants by his child bride?  What’s wrong with this picture????

Nick knows that Katie is hot for him and he’s sitting around shirtless and smoking cigars?  Interesting choice… only, not interesting.

Update 2:  Beemer… YEAH BABY!  Where is Ridge’s old speedo?  It’s time for that baby to come out of retirement.

Update 3: Donna threw a bash for ‘her husband’s daughter’?  Does Owen know that Bridget is also Donna’s niece?  Writers, if you’re embarrassed by the ‘gnarled tree branches’ of your shows family trees, STOP writing pseudo incest storylines.

Update 4:  Am… I…. crazy?  Brooke just promised that she wouldn’t sleep with Bridget’s husband, THIS TIME, and Bridget THANKED her?  Then Bridget told her that the pledge not to sleep with her husband, again, wasn’t necessary?  I… I don’t know what to say.

Update 5:  Thank the soapgods for commercials.  I’m still processing the Brooke-Bridget scene.  I wish I hadn’t eaten lunch before watching this show.  I’ll have to remember that before I live blog the next time.

Update 6:  Owen would be completely wasted on Donna.  He’s likable, she’s not.  Wouldn’t it be poetic to have Eric falling for Stephanie while Donna plays the dutiful wife? 

Bridget? Are you mad?  Nick isn’t worth a warm spit.  Quit singing his praises.

Should Katie be lifting a kid?  I wish the writers would figure out just how fragile Katie is.  They’re worried about her picking up the phone to call about wedding plans, but she can lug a toddler around with no problem?  Interesting!  Only not.

Update 7:  Oh I hate watching live. It always feels like my ears are paying tricks on me.  Did Brooke just say that Bridget gave Katie life, and that Katie was returning the favor? 

Well now, frail Katie playing basketball.  Yeah, the slow motion action shots and the (WTF is that music) grinding voice just add to the ‘excitement’ of the scene.

Is Bridget related to at least ONE person who doesn’t find the smell of a man she’s been with an aphrodisiac?  My skin is starting to crawl.

Last Update:  I’ve been enjoying the commercials.  I forgot that the show wasn’t coming back on.  WHEW! 

Don’t forget to check out the blog below this one.  It’s titled:  “The Aging and the Virile”

The Aging and the Virile

Dude Camp.  Location?  Dude Land.  That must be it.  That must be where the networks send their writers before turning them loose on script construction.  In Dude Land, all things are possible.  Women fall down fighting one another to impregnate themselves with your randomly stored sperm, even if you’re already a pretty lousy father.  No matter how mean and cantankerous you are, they think you’re ‘hawt’ and a real ‘honey bear’.  No matter how many failed marriages you have behind you, women are lining up to throw themselves at your feet to become your next ex-wife.  They will engage their own mothers, sisters, daughters and granddaughters in mortal combat for the right to love you next, or first, or first than third and even tenth in line after that. 

Dude land… an utterly mystical and magical place where writers learn to turn their inner bullshit into 20 – 40 minutes worth or garbage that makes me want to ‘ground’ myself and take away my t.v. privileges.  Whatever I did in my past life, watching daytime as most of it circles the drain appears to be the bigger punishment! 

The Young and the Restless and its sister soap, The Bold and The Beautiful, have managed to use the same storyline to remind soap fans why they’re not safe telling non-soapers that they’re still hooked on the genre. 

  • Both shows have decided that their respective show’s most veteran male lead needed to give up their long term on-again-off-again relationships with the mothers of their children and ‘true loves’.  Only the BnB’s Stephanie had it coming – thought I don’t like the way it was done and the outcome. Nikki?  I’m still a bit puzzled by Victor’s actions toward her.
  • Add to that that both men – Victor Newman and Eric Forrester, have married much younger women.  Don’t get me wrong, Eric Braeden (Victor) and John McCook (Eric) are hot enough to park their slippers under almost any woman’s bed at any time, but their characters have become huge losers in my book.  Minus their wealth, does anyone believe that any woman who hasn’t already put up with either knuckle dragger, for at least three decades, would want them?

Now here’s the ‘fun’ part:

  • Both men have had vasectomies (TWICE for Victor) that are never mentioned as the writers try to prove the ‘virility’ of each character by having him contemplate the possiblity of becoming a father a again with his young bride.  Luckily, Eric has decided he doesn’t want any more children.   Good, he has a habit of badly screwing over the ones he already has – more on that another time.

Is there something in Dude Land that equates ‘manhood’ with the ability to create children?  Are the writers incapable of creating interesting relationships between these men and the women they’ve married after bedding them a few times?  The fact that the only things these couples have in common are his money and her ovaries adds to de-legitimizing the relationships and give viewers nothing to root for or care about.

It’s time for Victor and Eric to realize that their shared problem isn’t that they’re getting older.  It’s that they’re getting older without getting wiser.  They’ve learned nothing and if they paid for making the same mistakes over and again, it would be interesting and fun to watch.  Ah, but no.  Everyone else around them has to pay.  Their wives lose self-esteem, their children are rendered helpless, and their friends suffer, all until these guys get it right.

Should you happen to find yourself vacationing in “Dude Land” and you run into any daytime writers, could you pass these on for me:

GH writers, I can’t watch the show any more.  Sonny has impregnated so many women of that show that I’m fearful that if I sit too close to the screen, I’m next!  Oh yes, Sonny’s mojo is just that strong.  Either have him tie it down, or I’m just going to have to go elsewhere.

DOOL writers, Victor?  Seriously?  C’mon.  At some point, Victor is going to have to realize that not even his money is going to make him an attractive man to anyone, including himself.  The nights get even lonelier when you can’t even turn yourself on…. and I don’t know where that was going,  I’ll just let you decide and make of it what you will.

GL writers, Josh?  Sorry, no.  He’s not just losing his sex appeal because he became a minister (oh “Fr. What-A-Pity”).     Sisters Reva and Cassie are at odds over Josh.  Josh, however, has to be the angriest man in daytime, and it’s not clear why.  Two women in love with him, he’s following his dreams by livng the life he wanted.  He has a new family that he loves.  Oh yes, being with Cassie has brought Josh so much peace.  Life with Reva was just too tumultuous.  It’s good that he moved on. <sigh>

I have to applaud daytime for at least two storylines that turn the tables on the “virile aging’ meme.  OLTL’s Addie and David (see below) and the BnB’s Taylor and Rick.  Whatever you think of the principal characters, at least it’s not another storyline of a deluded rich older man who hasn’t yet realized that the bulge in his pants the young chippies are looking at his wallet.

 BTW:  Special thanks to KimRe at Restless-passions for the screen caps.  You can check out that site by viewing her link to the right of this blog.

OLTL Random Thoughts

OLTL fans, am I the only one thinking that David and Addie are much more suited and a much more entertaining pair than David and Dorian? I loved David and Dorian, but maybe there was just too much dysfunction going on there.  There’s something refreshing about the fact that Addie knows what David is, and she loves him for it.  She doesn’t need a partner in crime or someone to keep her secrets.  She simply loves him.  I’d like to see David realize that he has genuine feelings for Addie.  It’s unexpected, but they ‘work’, somehow.  Methinks in the end, Addie should hold on tight to David Vickers, the dog – not the man, because I’m sure the writers have dark days in store for her when it comes to David Vickers, the man – not the dog.

Psssst, writers, why not allow Addie to outsmart them all?  If the writers aren’t setting Addie up for a big fall, it’s possible that they’re setting us up for a huge surprise when we realize that David is right.  Addie isn’t mentally ill at all.  I have a feeling he’ll find out how just how sane she is when he claims his Buchanan inheritance and realizes that he married Addie without a prenup.  David Vickers, you dog!

What doesn’t work?  Nora’s attitude toward Lindsey.  Dial it back, you ass!  This storyline has me realizing that the reason I’ve tolerated Nora this long is that I still have residual warm feelings for Hillary B. Smith’s portrayal of Margo Hughes, during her days on ATWT.  Done.  All gone.  Nora is now a boil on the backside of humanity.  Thank you to the writers for having even young Matthew call her out on her obsession with Lindsey.  Seriously, did Lindsey steal Nora’s prom date?  She’s won over Lindsey at every turn, how can Nora still be so angry about the past?

When Nora believed that Marty was guilty of killing Spencer, she did everything she could to help Marty – the D.A., helping the accused…  Imagine that… That Spencer Truman was an evil bastard who sent an innocent man off to die, and tortured half the town, actually mattered  to Nora, then.  Spencer became a human being who deserved justice once she realized that Lindsey was the person who killed him.  Go away Nora, just go away.

By the way, what’s happened to Viki’s DID radar?  HOW could she miss the signs?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s missing out, we get more of Tess, but Tess isn’t exactly subtle.  Natalie and Jared are as dumb as stones, so I get it, they have no clue.  Viki has been down this road enough times to have at least wondered if the trauma of burying Nash would trigger a relapse for Jessica as it’s done for Viki so many times before.  I’d have rather had Viki pick up on Tess’ return and had Viki play Tess, while Tess playing everyone else. 

Just sayin’