Daytime’s Parenting Sweepstakes (Updated)

Bold and Beautiful.  Who’s the bigger loser in the deal, Marcus or Donna?  My money is on Marcus.  WOOHOO, you find your biological mother and she’s a former model, rich as creases, and now in charge of a multimillion dollar conglomerate.  What’s not to love?  Oh, just the fact that she’s nutty as a fruitcake (see Forrester Creations ‘takeover attempt’).  Not enough?  Add that she’s dumb as a stone!  How is it that young Marcus knows enough to be suspicious of Owen and Donna is falling for his act hook, line, and sinker?

If Donna loved her ‘honeybear’ as much as she claims, or her son for that matter, Owen would have been out the door.

All My Children – JR and Adam.  Adam is on the losing side, in this case.  Just how many times can JR turn his back on his father and try to make Adam ‘pay’ for (insert incident)?  His attempts to take over Adam’s company and/or fortune are becoming as commonplace as his change in hairstyles. 

He can forgive Babe for every mean and nasty thing she’s done to him, including having one night stands just weeks after they were married, and running off with his child AND his brother, but Adam is the devil incarnate?  What AMC needs is MORE Adam, and even an Adam clone or two (hint there, JR).  Given what’s transpired on this show the past couple of years, Adam is the least threatening person in Pine Valley… so far…but give him time.

One LIfe To Live – Starr and Todd.  It’s a draw!  The mini-me Starr has become is absolutely intolerable to me.  She’s demanding, obnoxious and completely out of control.  I hate it women, in general, are blamed for their children’s behavior, but I think it works in Starr’s specific case.  Blair shares some of the blame.  Carrying Todd Manning’s genes set Starr up for a very difficult life, to begin with – but there was a least some chance of escaping her destiny to make life miserable for as many people as possible.  Blair hasn’t done Starr any favors by having little-to-no guidelines for developing a sense of self control. 

While Todd moves to one extreme, appointing himself Starr’s Lord and Master, Blair moves too far in the other extreme – wanting to be Starr’s best friend.  Hey, Blair, Starr has enough ‘friends’ – they helped get her in the situation she’s in now.  She could use a parent.  She’s sorely lacking one.  While Starr is working hard trying to place her child for adoption, she should be looking for a placement of her own.  Make sure to take Jack and Sam with you, kid!

As The World Turns – Puberty (Parker and Liberty).  Isn’t it grand that their parents have FINALLY figured out that these kids need supervision, AFTER they were caught in bed together?  Before that?  The only parent who made time for either of them, and tried to keep them in line was Liberty’s father, Brad.   Brad is a lone salmon swimming upstream, when it comes to parenting.  He actually focuses on his daughter more than his own sex life.  Imagine that! 

Oh that Carly and Holden, and Jack and Janet.  Theirs are the ‘F’ bombs that just keep giving and taking.  They get their freak on and their 16 year olds get their freak on in response!  Ain’t that grand?  Summer love never seemed so  backwards.  Well, we know the outcome for OLTL’s  Starr and Cole – a child she wants to give up for adoption, one he wants to keep and raise.  The problem is that the OLTL storyline is weak, and without much merit as an example of the difficulty of teen pregnancy ( read more in the blog below “Jumping the Shark”).  All of the issues that make the OLTL storyline a weak one are issues that make a strong case for a teen pregnancy storyline for ATWT’s lusting cousins, ‘Puberty’.   

Both kids are from families that are hardworking, middle class (lower middle, or upper lower for Liberty and her mother, Janet).  Raising a child WOULD be a struggle for Puberty, neither of which has a trust fund, slew of servants, or enormous mansions to raise their child in.  Both are teens who rushed into sex, even while using birth control that neither probably knew how to use adequately or responsibly enough to be protected. 

There was no emotional commitment between Parker and Liberty prior to having sex.  Would they want to raise a child together?   This pair would give a more realistic look at the emotional angst of having made a decision they weren’t ready for and the angst of dealing with loivng a child enough to give it a great home with parents who were ready to love and care for it.  I’d hate for a Puberty pregnancy storyline (if there was one) to become as sensationalized as Gwen’s pregnancy storyline.  I’d love to see daytime portray teen pregnancy realistically and with great deference to the hardships of real life teen parents.  Since this is daytime, and almost no storyline is offered without controversy, let me offer the following:

Parker could turn to cousin Luke to help him.  He’s not ready to be a father, and yet he’s not ready to see his child placed with strangers. At LEAST two options are now available.

1 – Luke decides to adopt his cousin’s child.  He talks it over with Noah, and Noah agrees to give him whatever help he can.  It leads to them spending more time together and getting even closer – even if they’re not ready to be a full-fledged family.  Can they survive Luke becoming a single father and splitting his time between their relationship and his son?

2 – Luke and Noah decide that they’re ready for a long term commitment and raise the child together, as a family.  They agree to adopt the Puberty baby together.  This storyline, by the way, pulls Luke and Noah out of the ‘late teen’ trap the writers have been keeping them in to avoid their emotional and physical connection – which now makes even less sense given the explicit and graphic Puberty romp. 

In either case, Luke/or Luke and Noah adopt the child, agree to help raise him, and end up fighting Janet  and Brad on the adoption.  Janet opposes for religious reasons.  Brad opposes because he wants custody of the child and plans to raise it with Katie.  Both Liberty and Janet thinks it’s too much to have the child raised as Liberty’s sibling and fight Brad.

What’s that, you ask?  Haven’t NUKE been through enough?  I get the point, and understand why it would be hard to watch another ‘anti’ storyline when it comes to these two, but I think a storyline about adoption could be a great way to address the issue of whether cultural ideas about adoption involving GLBT parents is more myth than reality.   This would be an opportunity for the writers to debunk myths and to open the discussion about the more than a half million children in this country who need homes, and are barred from living in the context of a family with same sex parents because of unfounded fears.

I think the writers have exhausted the focus on Luke and Noah as ‘good guys’ with hearts of gold.  I think they’ve done enough to show us the stereotypes about gay males are just stereotypes.  It’s time to move them into family mode.  It’s time to fully integrate these characters and give them a meaty storyline that isn’t just about ‘coming out’ and dealing with ‘being out’.  They’re out.  It’s time for them to become as real as any other character on canvas.

Update:  I’ve just been informed that Noah is roughly 20, Luke 19.  It wouldn’t make much of a difference to have Nuke become parents at such a young age instead of Puberty.  Too bad the writers haven’t SORASed them as they have so many others.  Nuke, mid 20s?  They’d make great parents.  It’s just a few short years away.

Advertisements

Rooting for the Anti-Hero

There are so few TRUE villains left in daytime any more.  DOOL’s still has Stefano.  I’m sure the Cassadines are lurking the shadows of Port Chuckles, but TPTB of GH seem to have no use for them right now.  The same GH writers refuse to label Jason and Sonny “bad guys” and have instead treated them as ‘anti-heroes’.  Anti-heroes aren’t exactly ‘heroes’.  They’re often dark characters who fall just shy of this side of morality or legality, and often lack remorse.  Sometimes, during their dark times, they just happen to do something good, engage in an action that helps someone else.  Don’t thank them, or even acknowledge that they’ve done something decent or human.  You’ll only anger them.  

Today’s anti-heroes don’t have the same level of emotional depth or sheer intellect of yesterday’s soap villains, but they’re still FUN, when they’re not completely slimy.  The two anti-hero/bad boys who’ve left me totally captivated are

1.  The BnB’s Owen

2.  GL’s Billy Lewis

Owen… Who wouldn’t root for a character played by the uber delicious Brandon Beemer?  The man is seven kinds of sexy on his worst days, and he holds nothing back when onscreen and in character.  What makes Owen an anti-hero (at least so far) is that his seemingly self-serving actions actually seem to be benefiting  poor ridiculous Donna.  Her husband is in a coma.  She’s just ousted her stepchildren (one of whom in an ex-boyfriend, another an ex-fiance) from the family company.  Her sister has walked out on her and won’t help her run the company she’s taken over.  The fashion world thinks she’s a tart.  She’s a failed model with a reputation for being more of the ‘pole dancer’ than ‘private dancer’ type… well, you get the picture.

Owen has managed to make Donna feel good about herself.  Sure, Eric does too, but his praise for Donna stems from her complete adoration of him.  She makes HIM feel good.  She makes HIM happy.  She makes HIM feel young. She gives HIM all the sex he wants — hence the viagra-coma.  Eric rarely has anything to say to Donna that isn’t indirectly about him.  Owen, so she believes, sees her and believes in her ability to do anything  – accentuating the  point of how wonderful he thinks she is with a big sloppy kiss (take that  viagra-swilling, wife-dumping, comatose husband!).  Awww… very ‘Bridget Jones’.

Confused, frightened, and alone, Donna has no one to turn to but our Owen Knight – and he’s played a role in making sure of that!  Clearly the man has his own agenda.  Is his agenda  an anti-hero agenda in sticking it to what he sees as pampered and angry Forrester sibs who seem to want more than he thinks they’re entitled to?   OR is it an villain’s agenda, one that begins with convincing Donna that she deserves to run the company and ends with Owen either owning FC, or emptying Donna’s bank accounts.  While I SHOULD feel sorry for Donna, if I happens, I won’t.  

Anti-hero or villain, I’m anxiously awaiting Owen’s next move.

Bill Lewis.  Yes, Yes, he’s stolen a mansion and small fortune from Alan Spaulding, but let’s face it, Alan isn’t such a nice guy either.  It’s a classic anti-hero move.  The bad guy makes the even WORSE guy finally pay up for causing others misery.  I cheered on Lizzie (Alan’s granddaughter) and Bill as a couple.  Bill wasn’t trying to make Alan’s life even more miserable.  I cheered them on because it’s been a long time since GL has had a couple with the same cosmic chemistry as Reva and Jeffrey, Reva and Josh, Gus and Harley, Beth and Phillip, you name it.  Bill and Lizzie had it all, and then Bill threw it all away. 

Political ambition got the best of him and anti-heroine Ava gave him the opportunity to pimp a ‘ready made family’ as the picture perfect way to start his political career.  That Ava lied and told him the child she was carrying his, and neglected to tell him she’d visited a clinic to be inseminated?  Eh, minor detail.  That she was wrong, the insemination didn’t work and she was pregnant by a man with whom she’s had a continuing close “friendship”?  Ok, major detail, but not insurmountable.  So what?  It’s ‘HIS’ family, now.  That the child’s father is African-American and Bill is not?   Ok. NOW someone’s got some explainin’ to do!

If you’ve been watching GL this past week, you know that Bill still thinks of Remy’s son, Max, as ‘his’, and is unwilling to give him up to his biological father.  Besides, the governor is ok with it… and isn’t that all that matters?  Nothing will deter Bill from his run for office!  But here’s the problem.  Bill has decided that he and Ava should tell everyone that they couldn’t have  child on their own.  They used a clinic.  There was an ‘error’ at the clinic.  The clinic made a ‘mistake’.  That would explain the fact that the child is African-American/Biracial.  

I could believe that Bill really does love that child if the writers hadn’t chosen that language: “mistake”, “error” and adding that the govenor is “ok” with it.  MAN UP, you wanker!  If the writers want to continue to portray Bill as the ‘anti-hero’, slipping toward ‘decent man’, let him love Max and want him for the right reasons.  The writers have to realize that right now, he’s reading poorly with that incredibly insensitive dialogue.  It has the potential to move him into the ‘villain’ column pretty damned quickly.  To further move him to the ‘hero’/”good man” column, have him tell the truth.  There’s a novel idea!c Have him admit that he knew his wife was pregnant with a child that wasn’t his before they married and it didn’t matter.  He could then lie and claim that he married her out of love.  Can you imagine the press conference if he keeps up the clinic lie?

Reporters: 

  • Mr. Lewis, you say that you and your wife wanted a child and that you couldn’t have one on your own so you sought artificial insemination.  Yet, your wife was inseminated before you were engaged.  Had you decided to wait until it was clear she could carry a child before you decided to marry her?
  • Mr. Lewis, you were dating Lizzie Spaulding at the time your now-wife was being inseminated.  Why were you dating while creating a family with another woman? 
  • Are you still denying that the recently published photos of you and Lizzie Spaulding are innocent?
  • Which are we to believe, Mr. Lewis? 
  • Were you toying with Ms. Spaulding as part of your vendetta against her grandfather?
  • Which of your various stories do you want the voting public to believe, sir?
  • If you’re not honest about something like this, Mr. Lewis, how can the public trust you?

Let’s hope the writers pen such a conference for Bill Lewis.  I’d love to see Remy reunited with his son, and Ava (should the actress ever return- or if the character is recast!).  Little Max shouldn’t end up with someone who is content to tell the world he is a ‘mistake’ or ‘error’.  Max deserves better.

Live Blogging the BnB/OLTL – July 25, 2008

OLTL blog:  Thank YOU David Vickers!  Every David scene is worth TWICE the time spent viewing it.  Odd, Nora (you know, who loves the law and all) doesn’t have a problem with bribery?  Clint!  Pa would be proud!

Blair/John…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  One morose character is enough.  Take your pick, writers.

Update 1:  Todd wants forgiveness.. got it… this isn’t the way to get it.  I miss the mischievious Todd.  Antisocial Todd is a bit too scary.

Tell the truth, Todd, PLEASE, tell the truth (what an unexpected surprise from the writers if that happens).

Uh, Addie and Charlie?  I like it.  That could be interesting.  Will Charlie violate the rules of AA?  Wow, what an uncomfortable situation he’s been placed in.  I actually feel sorry for the character.  Charlie finally does the right thing and it will still land him in hot water.

Brody?  Why do I love him so much!  He could go either way… Todd Manning or Rex Balsom.  “Gigi Marasco’… what a pleasant surprise.  She’s really coming into her own as a character!

Update 2. Why do I love Dorian, even when she’s behaving badly?  Dorian and Brody?  Nah!  That would be too much!

Dorian keeping her promise to Mel (beloved Mel)?  NO!  I can’t believe it (rather, I’ll believe it when I see it!)  There could be hope for her afterall… SHE DID IT!  Sorta…. she didn’t tell the whole truth.  There’s “some” hope for her afterall.  Good, I don’t think I could take a completely redeemed Dorian.

Update 3.  Love the Viki/Dorian clips.  Thanks for that, PTB.

Update 4.  Such great comedic writing for Dorian, such great timing.  Love the throw away line about her being ‘fine’ as Charlie rushed to Viki’s side, not asking Dorian how she felt.

Another reason Starr and Cole are ‘squicky’.  Their parents/parental figures on both sides are a little too close for comfort.   Has there ever been a time that Blair didn’t heal her broken heart by being with another man?  When has that ever worked out for her?

 BnB Blog

My 13 year old niece watched ‘In Plain Sight’ with me.  She watched the younger sister flirt with Mary’s boyfriend.  Her reaction?  “She’s nasty”.   No, she’s not a soap fan.  Watching Beth Logan smile at Nick and Katie made me think of that.  If that was my family, my mother wouldn’t be smiling.  Gotta’ love soap characters’ reactions.

Update 1.  Why does Ridge allow Nick near Hope?  Why would Katie WANT Nick to be in love with her?  Aye ye ye.

Update 2.  Bridget is the most NORMAL child Eric has.  It’s interesting that she feels inferior to the rest.  Great parenting, Eric.

I could really enjoy the tenderness between Bridget and Nick if it weren’t for the Katie scenes earlier.

Update 3. YIKES!  Donna almost won me over for a second with the question about whether Eric’s children love him.  The Owen reveal?  Big WHOOP! Brandon Beemer?  HAWT!  What a great choice for the role of Owen.  Why hasn’t he fallen for Bridget, yet?

Is this supposed to be a replay of when Brooke took over the company?  It PALES in comparison!  Brooke earned the company with hard work and sheer brilliance.  Donna slimed her way into Eric’s bed.   Not hard to do there, chica, Eric is a sleaze bag.

BTW, what does Owen do for a living again?  What makes him qualified to help run FC?

Update 4.  So everyone pays for Felicia’s actions?  How does that make sense?  After Donna’s treatment of Thorne – taking a suicidal man and making him thing that he had sex with her while passed out, trying to turn him against his own mother?  I’m just not sympathetic to the woman in this case.

She failed as a model because she didn’t understand the fashion world, HOW can she make it as a CEO?  Yeah, her comatose ‘honeybear’ is gonna love it that she’s proven his children right with her actions.  Nothing says ‘love’ like letting your husband wake up to the fact that his children have been disinherited (thanks to his stupidity) and have be ousted from the family business.

Update 5.  No fun, today, how about a blast from the past? Remember when Stephanie knew the truth?  Remember when she warned Taylor that Ridge would never give her his whole heart?  She was right, THEN:

Jumping the Shark

That’s my favorite scene from the movie Soapdish – what started out as a spoof of daytime turned out to not be a spoof, after all!  A soap writer asked to write the impossible, a ‘back from the dead’ character who couldn’t logically come back from the dead since the audience witnessed the horrifc act and everything that followed (a la Taylor Forrester, Bold and Beautiful) ? Taylor laid in her casket for THREE DAYS before being buried.  Her return was explained by the return of an obsessed Moroccan Prince who somehow made it to her deathbed within hours of her shooting and who then noticed that she was only in a coma, while an entire hospital staff and the husband who held her while she died missed it.  The Prince then replaced her body with a wax dummy that was buried in her coffin – and no one noticed.  

Many storylines that were once thought of as ‘spoofs’ have become mainstays in daytime storytelling.  There’s so much about daytime I still love, and a hell of a lot that gives me pause for concern.  I promise, I’ll soon write about what I love.  Today is just not that day. 

I’ve been such a HUGE fan of One Life to Live, lately, that it pains me to call it out as the one show doing the most it can to jump the shark after such a beautiful rebound.  I loved the first part of the 40th anniversary episode, in part because of the return of so many beloved characters (why WHY did Mel Hayes have to die?).  Another reason I enjoyed the 40th was the inventive use of the current cast in retelling the show’s history.  I also liked the fact that the show seems to be opening up the issue of Bo and Rex’s relationship.  If Bo isn’t Rex’s father, he should be.  Natalie and Rex, cousins instead of siblings?  Something about that seems to restore the balance that was lost when ‘Nattie’ became a Buchanan.

The second part of the 40th anniversary?  Not so much.  I can’t say that I enjoyed it.  Much of it seemed to be used to pimp current storylines rather than celebrate the show’s 40 glorious years.  Ben sending ‘Blondie’ back to Charlie, because he needed her?  Megan and ‘Aunt Megan’ making sure Viki realized that her place was with Charlie?  Jared and Natalie as Clint and Maria?   It’s sure sign, to me, that the writers realize that they have to work hard to sell this paring (maybe with both pairings).  Not for nothing, but would it have killed TPTB to hire, I dunno, a LATINA to play a LATINA?  It’s 2008, people.   How could TPTB believe that a black wig, a bit of bronzer, and a forced accent would be enough?  I was embarrassed for Melissa Archer (Natalie), to be placed in that position.  The ‘Maria’ casting, in my opinion, was careless and indicative of the movement away from clean, crisp storytelling and production that has this show has been leaving behind in its trend toward ‘jumping the shark’.  Other problems include:

1.  Marcie’s desperation.   I’ve always believed that Marcie’s relationship with Starr is predatory, and this past week’s shows have only reaffirmed my belief.  Not many of us can fully appreciate Marcie’s circumstances – who could criticize her for wanting to be a mother?   My only earlier concerns were her desire to raise Todd’s grandchild, and her inability to stand back and have Starr ask her if this was the best option for her baby.  If Starr truly loves the child, why turn it over to a woman for whom her father has such hatred?  Does she honestly believe Todd will EVER give up on trying to destroy Marcie’s connection to that baby?  It’s just all heartache waiting to happen.

This week, my concerns about Marcie’s actions grew.  It’s disturbing to have Marcie ask if her marriage to Michael ‘is all there is’ in life.  It’s disturbing to have no one counter her statements that she’s not choosing motherhood over her marriage.  It’s DEEPLY disturbing to hear her comment that people leave you but that your child will always be there for you.  I don’t think Marcie SHOULD be a mother, and not because she can’t have children, but because she’s not yet adult enough to realize that children aren’t supposed to make YOU happy as a parent, or give your life meaning. It should be the other way around.  (So glad to see the writers on Guiding Light get this one right in their story of a couple that was desperate to become parents for pretty much the same reasons).  if the writers’ intent is to have Marcie come slowly unglued and unlikable, good job! 

If that’s not the intent, this plot has been pushed to its limits.  Marcie hasn’t shown, at least to this viewer, any compelling reasons to root for her and it’s dragging this show down to keep focusing on her obsession.

2.  Root for Marcie because she’s not Todd? I can’t.   I’m still holding out hope that the writers will redeem Todd though that’s becoming more and more unlikely.  I’m disturbed by Todd’s interactions with Marty, even more disturbed by him than by Marcie.  The writers have taken a once great character and reduced him to a serial violator.  I’ve already commented on why it’s never made sense for Todd, who was a battered child, to become violently aggressive with Starr and her friends.  There was never any history of aggression toward children from Todd.  As much as he hated Margaret Cochran, he couldn’t bring himself to kill her and their unborn child.  Not only is he now attacking teens, he’s unremorseful for his actions.  I believe his views are understandable. His actions?  Not at all.

Capping that off by having Todd take advantage of Marty’s amnesia?  The writers couldn’t have painted him as more of a cartoon villain if they tried!  The Fourth of July scenes crossed the line – if kidnapping her hadn’t already pushed the envelope.  There’s no way Todd should have been in a darkened room with the woman he raped, no matter how innocent the act of watching fireworks.  Todd had begun to understand what he did to Marty when Margaret kept him captive, and forced herself on him by threatening to kill his family.  How could he not realize how deeply painful the memory of that darkened room and his ‘gentle massages’ will be when she fully recovers?

Ruining Todd to advance the adoption storyline, and to force a pairing between John and Blair (and who didn’t see that one coming) won’t work.  I’m sure this is all part of Cole’s ‘comeuppance’ for daring to trust Todd.  Thanks, but no.

3 – Romeo and Juliet (with child).   The Baby Borrowers  this storyline ain’t.  There’s no redeeming social value in the Starr-Cole pregnancy storyline.  Daytime has shifted from creating summer love storylines it used to try to draw teens in, to creating more explicit teen sex storylines that are turning adult viewers off.  I cringed when One Life decided to show a ‘seduction’ scene between Cole and Starr when they were ‘on the run’.  I don’t think I’ve stopped cringing. 

Rather than dealing with the difficulty of pregnancy, Starr and Cole are still being treated like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.  There’s just the little matter of her pregnancy coming between them. So little focus on the child, so much focus on how to get the ‘lovebirds’ back together.  The pregnancy is trivialized and I think I understand why.  For most teens pregnancy limits their options – going to college, finding  employment that allows them to be self-sufficient, finding adequate housing, purchasing medical care/health insurance.  Clearly, none of the above are serious issues for Starr or Cole – which is probably why this storyline hasn’t been useful as a vehicle for this couple, but surely there is some sort of emotional consequence?  Most of the ancillary storylines building up around the pregnancy could have been played out without Starr or her child.  In fact, it probably would have been better if they had.

The cruel irony?  Teens aren’t watching!  Daytime has been unsuccessful in replacing the adult viewers who’ve tuned out with the teens so many soaps have heavily courted.  Thanks for nothing!

There’s so much to love about OLTL:  David Vickers, David and Addie, the burgeoning Rex/Gigi/Brody triangle, the corporate battle, and Tess – long may she reign, to name a few.  When comparing the above three storylines to the rest of the show and what it has to offer, I’m looking forward to the end of all three.  Besides, David Vickers could use a little more airtime!

Men without balls – The YnR Edition

Victor and Nikki

If I compiled even a short list of men without balls in daytime,  it would far exceed that of the manwhore list I compiled earlier.  What’s happened on The Young and The Restless?  Victor was once a tough competitor in business and a man who trampled anyone who got in his way.  He became the stuff of legend.  Men who would rather be roasted on an open spit ALIVE- before admitting to watching soaps, acknowledged loving Victor.  He made you want to hate him and cheer him on at the same time.

Now?  He’s a real jerk.  What is it about this man that makes him think it’s ok to keep going eyeball-to-eyeball with Nikki and attack her?  She said what she needed to say to him, and took his abuse in return.  She walked away.  Was there a reason the writers had him watch her move around the room and then approach her yet again to demean her?  Have the writers forgotten that MOST of the viewing audience is female?  Do they really think women find it appealing to have to put up with a man who ruminates on the last angry thing he said, and then tracks you down to take another angry swipe?  It’s makes Victor look petty, and mean… and dangerous.

He’s no longer a heroic “anti-hero”.  He’s just a bad game of quarters or some other drinking game.

1.  Take a drink every time Victor tells his wife what a loser she is.

2.  Take a drink every time Victor tells Nikki that she’d be nothing without him.  Drink twice if he reminds her she was just a stripper riding a pole before he met her.

3.  Take a drink every time Victor says ‘no one disrespects Victor Newman and gets away with it.

4.  Take a drink every time Victor refers to himself in third person.

For some daytime couples, there’s an angry banter that shows a passion shared between them that far exceeds any feeling they have for any other person (GL’s Josh and Reva, BnB’s Brooke and Ridge, GH’s Sonny and Carly).  The ‘banter’ between Victor and Nikki isn’t exactly banter.  It’s verbal abuse.  Rarely does Nikki get to step up and defend herself.  Victor demeans her, Nikki takes it.  The writers allow her to remain pretty much speechless and embarrassed.

Just once I’d love to see Nikki give Victor a good right cross, maybe a round house kick, or if we HAVE to be socially appropriate – maybe she could remind Victor that given the number of wives he’s driven away, it’s about time he realized that the problem isn’t the women who’ve come and gone, but the bastard they left behind.

I’m now sorry that Sabrina will be killed off, and not because I give a damn about the character, I don’t.  I’d have never written the character in, she never served any real point.  I’m sorry to see her go because it’s just one more opportunity for Victor to play the martryr and for him to remind everyone of how they ‘disrespected him by disrespecting the woman he loves’ (oh, and take a drink).

David, David, and David…

Riddle me this, whacked writers, if David Chow was a hit man running from his past, why the hell would he have chosen such a public profession?   This turn of storyline rates right up there with the thinking anyone cares about the snooze inducing Cane and Lily – who are such a sorry couple they have me rooting for Chloe.  The Chow storyline rates up there with the daily balladeering of that 13 year old kid (adorable, but I can’t take another tune), the completely uninteresting death of Ji Min, and Victor impregnating a woman after TWO vasectomies.  Yeah, yeah, I brought it up before, but it’s always worth it to stick it to the writers who can’t seem to remember even the major plot lines 

This show may as well be renamed ‘Fantasy Island’.

Old Home Week – Soap Style – GL/BnB/OLTL/GH/YnR

With so many soaps looking back to their respective glory days this week, I had one overarching thought: “Today is a day when I wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit that I was a soap fan!”

Guiding Light

WTF, just happened?  I’m watching live today.  I thought Reva was daydreaming, she was, right?  Josh didn’t really admit that his marriage to Cassie was a sham (ok, it’s the word I chose, not Josh).  I waited for Reva to wake up on the dock and realize that it was all in her head, but then the scene kept moving.  Josh referring back to Reva’s post partum drive off that bridge YEARS ago, his fear that she’ll take off and be gone again, WTF?  Where am I?   Will we have to wait until tomorrow to find out that it wasn’t real?  Does it continue?  I typically don’t read GL spoilers. I’m always afraid that the spoilers will cause me to tune OUT, not tune in.  I’ll be there tomorrow.  I need to know. I’m stunned.  Just a day or so ago, I swore off Manwhore Josh Lewis and I still mean it, but that man still gets to me.  I know I’ll be sorry, later, for admitting this, but there’s a part of me that wanted Reva to fall into Josh’s arms.  I’m so easy. I’m so nostalgic. 

Bold and Beautiful

There are times when the writers do something so subtle or so clever that I remember why I’ve always loved this show – and the writers can even make me forget the days I hate the show, if the writing is good enough.  I figuratively stitched myself back together when Bridget gave her report on Eric’s condition (must have been tough for a daughter to say, but it was sheer hilarity from a fan’s perspective).   Viagra man and the child bride had a wild afternoon of hot sex.  Shortly after, he suffers an attack.  Bridget faces the family and says, “because there was a loss of blood to his brain”… and then she said some bull spit after that, but I was laughing too hard to hear it.  That’s the sort of moment people like me live for.  Ahhhh…

The funny part is that what I loved most about those scenes wasn’t the camp, or Eric’s humiliation, or even Donna’s embarrasment.  I loved seeing so many characters on screen together and watching the Forresters pull together as a family.  It reminded me of the old Bold and Beautiful.  I thought I’d hate another health crisis storyline.  This one is already paying off.

OLTL

I’ve had a theory for some time, now.  Those of you who post at Soap News and Scoops have read the theory before.  I think Rex is Bo’s kid.  I’m almost sure of it!  Roxy was going to confess something to Rex, not long ago.  She seemed to imply that she was not Rex’s mother.  Remember her warning him that she was his mother no matter what?   She was so desperate.

Is it possible that Mitch stole TWO children from the Buchanans and placed both with Roxy?  I do believe!  All this time we thought that he was just going after Viki, maybe not.  That Rex is now playing a young Bo  and Bo is playing his ‘pa’ in this trippy time travel makes me wonder if I’m not right.  Rex has been playing ‘older brother’ to Matthew for some time.  Something tells me he won’t be playing at it, for much longer.  They mystery will be, ‘WHO is Rex’s mother?”

Viki and Niki, Mel and Dorian (oh dear soapgod how I miss Mel), Asa, “Megan”… This has been one of the best shows in recent memory.  I love Mel for saying everything that needed to be said to Dorian – and then some.   It’s time for her to stop worrying about living in Viki’s shadow and having a life of her own. (The prized advice of the day, it seems!  Cassie received the same advice on GL.)

Writers, thank you for bringing us ‘Agnes’ the Great.  Let’s hope she’ll continue to look over Viki, and the rest of daytime for many more years to come.

General Hospital

What irony.  Lulu and Johnny on the run.  A young Luke and Laura?  I’m sure that’s where the writers were headed.  Where does the irony come in?  This isn’t about Laura leaving Scotty behind, it’s about her daugther leaving her son behind.  Instead of the spiritual and emotional death Scotty suffered, Logan’s death is physical and will be an even deeper wound for Scotty.  I’m sure Laura’s return will open up old hurts for Scott Baldwin and this show is going to get messy.

Not exactly ‘old home’ but I’m impressed with Kate Howard’s move to gaslight Carly.  I haven’t been a Kate Howard fan.  She’s been a little too stiff in the past and too predictable.  GO GIRL, let your inner Connie out.  Maybe little Katie is a much tougher rival than I gave her credit for.  I’ve been hoping for an eventual Carly-Claudia cage match.  I’ve may have been looking in the wrong direction.  Kate has become the quintessential bad girl in good girl’s clothing.  Yes, I’m starting to see what attracted Sonni to Connie/Kate in the first place.  The writers are beginning to unveil the real Kate.  EH! My money is on writer’s fave, Carly, but it won’t be a cake walk, I’m sure.

 

Young And the Restless

Everything old is new again!  Victor Newman has reverted back to type.  There have been so few times when Victor is likable.  Locking his wife’s lover in a bunker in the basement?  Not one of those times.  Allowing his mistress to attend a Christmas Party his wife planned?  Not one of those times.  Telling his wife she’d still be taking her clothes off at the strip joint they met at if it weren’t for him (because, you know, all she ever wanted to be was a stripper)?  Yeah, not one of those times.  Disinheriting his children is another ‘The Great Victor Newman’ low life moves.  Demanding loyalty, but never giving it?  Yes, that’s Victor.  He’s upset that his children are unhappy about his marriage to Sabrina.  Big Deal, but it might be nice if ‘daddy dearest’ decided that having sex with his chlidren’s friends was off limits.  It would also be pretty cool if he finally woke up to the fact that his TWO (yes, TWO) vasectomies made it unlikely that he was the father of that child.  Whether or not the writers include it, fans haven’t given up the show’s history so it definitely sucks that Victor would disinherit his children for, oh – having their own opinions, for a woman carrying another man’s child.  Unlike ‘Old home week’ taking place for the rest of daytime, I have to say, the real Victor’s return was most unwelcome.

Update: GL, GH, and ATWT: Disappointed, sorta’.

ATWT: Jack/Carly/Holden/Lily

These four have me realizing that “The Jungle Book’ is highly underrated.  There’s something to be said for having your children raised by wild animals – which, as it turns out, are better parents than any of these four.  I wanted to be proud of Luke for defending his mother and standing up to his father.  To some degree I was.  In other ways, I was completely disgusted, and not with Luke, but with Holden and Lily.  How much more of this kid’s life are they going to steal from him?  How much more pain will be inflicted on their younger children, who’ll have to take over for him when Luke realizes that he’s being leaned on a little too heavily?   Faith, Natalie, Evan?  Pay attention.  Learn from what’s happening now.  If past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, your lives won’t be getting any easier.

Luke’s life should be filled with finding his own love and happiness, with thinking about his own future, with trying to figure out if HE wants to become a parent.  Why should he spend his life parenting his mother and father?  It’s outrageous.  Faith has already been traumatized, faced low self-esteem, an eating disorder, feelings of abandonment, and so much more.  What is she, 13?

I could feel some sympathy for Lily, if it weren’t for the fact that this is almost a replay of the Holden and Julia situation – minus the psychotic lover, and with much more depth.  With Julia, Holden decided that his life with Lily was intolerable.  He needed someone new, someone who made him feel good about himself, someone Jack had loved and lived with, first (HOT DAMN!  I think there’s a pattern here!).  He walked away from his family in record time.  He’s effectively done it again.

Luke and Faith are back to square one.  Only this time the betrayal is much deeper because the woman Holden has chosen is family.  I wish Luke and Faith were the kind of kids who could tell their parents to ‘flake off’ and “grow up”.  Luke, most definitely won’t.   He’ll watch his parents’ imploding psychodrama play out, he’ll protect and defend Lily, even though she hasn’t protected and defended him by giving him a father who can keep his pants up long enough to remember his children.  The writers can’t envision Luke any other way.  SADNESS!  Natalie and Evan, so far, seem to be unscathed, but then again, disruption and upheaval are all they’ve ever known.  Great parenting there!

Jack.  Oh, JACK!  You pain in the ass, you.  I have a love – hate relationship with this character.  I love him, yes -even now, because I know what he CAN be, what he has been in the past.  Jack is a man who loves whole heart and can be an incredibly likable romantic partner, when given the chance by the writers to do something other than parent his wife (uh, EX-Wife) and condemn her for almost everything she’s ever done.  Was it not the height of irony for Jack to condemn Carly to Janet (and that’s ‘Janet’, even if you’re nasty)?  Janet’s heat seeker has been trained on Brad since BEFORE she hit town.  She’s been using her daughter to get close to him and to try to break up his marriage.  Well, at least Jack has found his kindred. Do one thing, say another!  What is it with asshat men in daytime who believe they’ve found ‘better’, when at best they’ve found ‘the same’, and in Jack’s case (Julia, Julia, and Janet) he’s found worse!

Brad had to give Parker the talk that his father, Jack, was too busy verbally abusing his mother, and boinking his cousin-girlfriend’s mother to give.  Brad, I’m convinced, is the only father in daytime who seems to think that dating IN the family is wrong, even if you’re adopted into it.  Let’s hope the writers of The Bold and The Beautiful and The Days of Our Lives were watching!

General Hospital

Let’s just say you’re ok with the idea that Carly is protecting her family by keeping Sonny out of her life, and keeping Kate away from Jax.  CLAUDIA?  Carly believes that Claudia is psychotic and dangerous and she wants Claudia and Sonny together?  What happens if Sonny somehow gets custody of the boys in the future?  Carly is no stranger to jail and mental institutions.  A psychotic father AND a psychotic stepmother?  Well, good going there, Carly.  That’s one wise and well thought out plan.  Bless her little heart.  I love Carly, but I’d also love the character, and her to-die-for hair, just as much if she was just a little less impulsive.   Carly has just made a deal with the devil (who also has to-die-for hair), and I think it’ll be her children who’ll end up having hell to pay.  It’s definitely the mirror image narcissism getting to our girl that has her believing that Claudia is an idea choice for Sonny.

Begrudgingly, I have to give a nod to the writers when they have the ‘two Carlys’ on screen together.  Laura Wright, in a prior interview, commented that she’s always loved Sarah Brown’s iteration of Carly and that she hoped that SB liked what she did with the character.   Dollar for dollar, pound for pound, I think that Laura Wright and Sarah Brown are the best of General Hospital.  If they swapped out roles every year just to make it interesting, I’d be on board.  Both give each character they’ve portrayed real heat and fire.  As awful as it would be to make these two women onscreen friends/partners-in-crime due to the unprecedented carnage they’d leave behind  (if the writing holds true to form), I’d love to see it happen. 

GH is in position to push two strong, independent, and powerful women as the show’s lead mischief makers.  In the past, those roles have gone to men like Luke Spencer, Scotty Baldwin, Sonny Corinthos, and Jason Morgan Quartermaine.  Why not Carly and Claudia?   Yes, yes… Michael’s shooting, but won’t THAT make for great drama, down the line?

Update (Guiding Light):  Jeffrey goes to Cassie to tell her that ‘G’ is free, he had to let him go.  This is the man accused of running down and killing Cassie’s daughter.  What is it that Cassie focuses on?  The possiblity of losing Josh now that Reva is a ‘free woman’.  Just as Holden has developed a pattern of loving the women Jack loved first, have Reva’s ex’s become Cassie’s obsession? 

(Knock on door)

Cassie: Come on in. Hi. What’s going on?

Jeffrey: Grady foley was released from jail. The drug charges were dropped.

Cassie: Why?

Jeffrey: Well, it’s a long story, but he’s going to get what’s coming to him. I couldn’t keep him in custody, so I wanted to come over here and tell you.

Cassie: Well, thank you for telling me. You want some coffee?

Jeffrey: Is josh here?

Cassie: No. I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.

Jeffrey: Went to the wedding?

Cassie: Probably. He said he’s had enough of the whole movie thing, but I’m pretty sure he’s there. We had kind of a rough day.

Jeffrey: Mmm, I’m sorry.

Cassie: Well, it wasn’t anything terrible like a breakup.

Jeffrey: So you had a fight?

Cassie: It wasn’t a fight. It was a non-fight, which is worse. You know when you think you’re never going to run out of things to say to somebody and then one day…

Jeffrey: You’ll be fine.

Cassie: We should go.

Jeffrey: Where?

Cassie: To the wedding.

Jeffrey: What for?

Cassie: You can’t tell me that things are going to fine with josh when he is with reva, who apparently is a free woman right now, with dozens of people running around just trying to recreate their most romantic moment in their life.

Jeffrey: It’s for a movie, cassie. For a meaningless movie.

Cassie: Meaningless? If it were meaningless, that’s what they would have called the damn thing. Instead it’s called always.

Jeffrey: So what are you going to do? You’re going to go and drag josh out of there?

Cassie: If I have to.

Jeffrey: And then what? More non-fighting?

Cassie: I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Jeffrey: If you care about what you have with this guy, then you have to trust him, you know? I mean, what will happen will happen. We can’t change their feelings.

Cassie: That’s easy for you to say. Josh and I aren’t over yet. I mean, josh and I aren’t over.

                                    Special Thanks to TVMegasite for the transcript

Your daughter’s killer should hit your radar a bit harder than having a child with your sister’s ex or tracking him down. I think that news like ‘hey, had to let your daughter’s killer go free’ deserves more of a response than ‘hey, want some coffeee”?  Then again, that’s me, I’m a little odd that way.